2020 in Review

Well... I didn't make any goals for the year... mostly I just tried to survive, with the rest of the world. ;)  I never could have imagined all that the year would bring.  It wasn't easy, but I was blessed and learned a lot.  It's been interesting to go through a global challenge, but realize that it (and other concerns) created different problems for each of us.  While I'm more grateful than ever for health, a home, a supportive family, food to eat, work to do, good friends, peaceful retreats to the mountains, technology that's helped us stay connected, and the direction of the Spirit, 2020 was kind of a lonely year.  I have a new appreciation for many of the simple and most important blessings in my life.  Here are a few highlights....

Things I Learned

During this unique year, I've been reminded of the importance of:

• recognizing the tender mercies of the Lord 
• being humble
• listening to the voice of the Lord and His Spirit
• studying His words
• listening to others
• seeing people
• being kind
• caring
• looking to God
• praying and fasting
• being patient
• continuing on, pressing forward with faith
• coming unto Jesus Christ and believing in Him
• remembering and trusting that we are in the Lord's hands
• remembering Him (and that He has not forgotten us)
• expressing gratitude 
• giving compliments
• praising God
• being still and quiet
• learning from the journey and any challenges that come
• seeing the good and being the good
• appreciating and feeling connected to generations gone before
• working and waiting
• being united even when we're different and far away
• building and maintaining relationships
• reading good books
• having good conversations and discussions
• visiting beautiful and peaceful places

Family / Relationships
Grandma Kunzler passed away on January 9.  It was a real blessing (more than we knew at the time) to be able to be together with all of her posterity in January to celebrate her life and goodness and remember the things she taught us--love the Lord, love each other, love truth.  Beginning in March, I was grateful for weekly family Zoom calls, as well as outdoor adventures scattered throughout the year.  Even the drive-by visits were nice.  I got to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with my parents in St. George which was rejuvenating.  I was grateful for regular walks and some hiking trips with friends, as well as a weekly Come, Follow Me study group via Zoom.

Traveling
I missed traveling this year, but luckily I didn't have any plans to go anywhere when the year started, so there was a little less disappointment.  I did get my passport renewed in January, so I'm ready to go when I can again! ;)  Even for an introvert, it was a little claustrophobic to be home so much, but I'm more grateful than ever for my warm and comfortable home, as well as good books and hiking trails.  I'm grateful to have traveled so much last year and look forward to seeing some new places someday (maybe Iceland, Norway, Denmark, Croatia, Thailand, Patagonia, Machu Picchu, and Mt. Kilimanjaro).  

This year, getting out of the house consisted of:

• The office - I was still there in person almost every weekday.  I shifted from Trax to driving to work in March and was grateful for more time in the mornings and less traffic.  I was grateful for chances to observe the construction progress at the Salt Lake Temple.  It really has been a unique year on Temple Square.
• The mountains - I love the mountains.  Even with more people on the trails, I found beautiful places of solitude and peace in some favorite spots--Albion Basin, Willow Heights Lake, Mill D, Lake Solitude, Dog Lake, Timpanogos, the Suspension Bridge, and the Draper trails.
• St. George - I made it to St. George three times this year--Father's Day weekend, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I'm grateful for a place to get away and relax and be with family.

Reading
This year I read the Book of Mormon three times.  It was such a blessing to study this incredible book this year!  I can't think of anything better to help put life into perspective and deal with the daily challenges.  This year, I was particularly looking for "the great things the Lord hath done... the covenants of the Lord... and Jesus--the Christ, the Eternal God."  I found that and more!  

The Lord is mindful of all of His children--from Lehi, Nephi, Laman, Lemuel, Jacob, Enos, King Benjamin, Zeniff, Abinadi, Alma, Alma the Younger, Amulek, the sons of Mosiah, the Anti-Nephi-Lehies and their sons, Helaman, Mormon, the Brother of Jared, Ether, Moroni, Joseph Smith, to each one of us.  He guided them in the wilderness.  He guides us.  He provides commandments, prophets, His Spirit, light, peace, strength.  We can believe Him and trust Him and follow Him.  He keeps His promises.  He is with us.  If we will listen, see, open our hearts, give place, seek diligently, choose Him, wait for Him... He will be there.  All things testify of Christ.  All that is good comes from Him.  Jesus Christ is THE way, the truth, and the life.

One of my big takeaways and something I look forward to studying further next year is the constant invitation to "come unto Christ."  What does that mean?  How do we do that?

In addition to this study, I read 95 books. Here are some of my favorites (in no particular order):

• Saints, Volume 2
• The Divine Gift of Forgiveness by Neil L. Andersen
• The Millennial Messiah by Bruce R. McConkie
• The Gateway We Call Death by Russell M. Nelson
• Eve and Adam by Melinda Wheelwright Brown
• Finding Christ Through the Book of Mormon by Susan Easton Black
• What the Scriptures Teach Us About Adversity by S. Michael Wilcox
• What Seek Ye? by S. Michael Wilcox
• The Founder of Our Peace by John Hilton III
• The Power of Stillness by Jacob Hess, Carrie Skarda, Kyle Anderson, Ty Mansfield
• I Saw a Pillar of Light by Robert L. Millet
• Almighty, Redeemer, and Spirit by David Butler
• Morality: Restoring the Common Good in Divided Times by Jonathan Sacks
• The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson
• You're Not Listening by Kate Murphy
• Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
• The Great Influenza by John M. Barry
• Real Change by Sharon Salzberg
• Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport
• The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers by Maxwell King
• The Shape of Mercy by Susan Meissner
• While We're Far Apart by Lynn Austin
• If I Were You by Lynn Austin
• A Light to My Path by Lynn Austin
• What the Wind Knows by Amy Harmon
• The Other Side of the Bridge by Camron Wright
• The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind by William Kamkwamba
• Mustaches for Maddie by Chad Morris and Shelly Brown

I was also grateful for those who recognized and shared goodness this year.  With so much that was negative and discouraging, there were many that shared hope in large and small ways.  Those examples in word and deed were inspiring and encouraging to me.

Learning / Service
I learned a lot this year and have a new appreciation for challenges others face.  I found that I needed to be more intentional with service this year.  I could have done more, but I found meaningful one-on-one opportunities to reach out to neighbors and friends and family members, as well as spending time learning about others' trials and giving where I could.  

• Temples - This year I attended the temple regularly in January, February, and March. Since then I have really missed attending the temple, but I appreciate its blessings and peace even more. 
• Service - While I couldn't be at the temple, I made an effort to index more and participate in family history work, part of which was helping to type up some of my Dad's harvested memories, which was really fun.  I have a renewed commitment to consistently write in my journal.  I spent time listening to friends.  I spent time reading and learning about people and organizations that need help.  I'd like to do more next year.  I recognized even more the sacrifices and generosity of others and the small things that people do to lift and inspire others.  I'm grateful for these examples and hope to better express my gratitude next year.
• Church - I enjoyed teaching Sunday School again this year--two classes in person and three classes via Zoom.  My testimony of and love for the The Book of Mormon has grown.  I know this book is the word of God, it brings us closer to Him, and was written for our day.
• Fitness and Nature - Hiking and walking were lifesavers this year.  I tried to avoid weekend hiking crowds, but long summer nights were a great time to explore and find peace.  I worked hard to try to keep myself and others around me healthy.  I hope to work on being even healthier next year.

I'm grateful for all that I've learned this year and am looking forward to a brand new year to keep learning and growing.

To Be Known

I have been thinking a lot lately about the importance of being known! I have a lot of thoughts about this and still much to learn and understand, but this is my attempt at trying to organize some current thoughts somehow. ;)

The last few months have been a bit of a transition for me....from some things that were set and comfortable and known to much that is new and starting over. I haven't changed everything, so there are still some things that are known, but I have new neighbors, a new ward, a new commute, a new routine, and hopefully new friends. ;) I enjoy new and change and chances to grow and learn, so I'm grateful for this opportunity, but that doesn't make it easy (especially at the beginning).

I have come to understand that probably the hardest, but most exciting part of change is starting over and not being known - having to prove yourself again. It's an opportunity to decide who you want to be and change some things pretty easily since people don't know the old you, but because they don't know the old you, you have to tell them or show them (or sometimes even remind yourself) who that is. That can be hard.

Starting over the number of times that I have is exciting, but exhausting and overwhelming!  Maybe part of what makes it overwhelming is trying to live up to some kind of expectation that I set for the new.  When seeking change, I'm hoping the new is better than the old, so when I feel like I'm moving backwards at all that can be frustrating. Part of the "backward" can be just getting back to the place I was before - comfortable, known. :) Building reputation, trust, and getting to know people can be exhausting!

One thing I appreciate very much in such a transition is someone who is genuinely interested in wanting to know who I am...not just my name and my job title and where I'm from, but about what really makes me who I am and who I hope to be. Some people are so good at this and they are such a blessing!  I realize even more the importance of being that kind of person myself - getting past the superficial and wanting to learn and really "know" someone....being open, being vulnerable, being there.

There's really no place like home - where you're known. ;) It's a blessing to have people in your life that KNOW you, really know you!  You don't have to explain, they know your background, where you've been, where you hope to go, how you think you might want to get there, and everything in between.  These people are also good at letting you grow and change and become better.

What I'm thinking about doesn't have anything to do with fame or showiness or pride. To me, "being known" is a very quiet, personal thing. I see it very related to the invitation in John 17:3, "And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent."  This is something we do on our own quietly.  

While it's a quiet and personal relationship, it's also very important to spend the time!  In Matthew 7:21-23 the Savior says, "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven....And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity." There is also Matthew 25:12 where Jesus tells the five foolish virgins, "I know you not" when they come late "saying, Lord, Lord open to us."  The Joseph Smith Translation corrects each of these slightly to "Ye never knew me" and "Ye know me not."  So, I guess what I'm saying is, the ball is in our court - to be known we must know someone else - spend the time, make the effort, love, care, sacrifice.  As we focus on relationships I believe we will be blessed and happy!

I recently read a neat book by Robert L. Millet - Coming to Know Christ.  It touches on some of these same topics and is where some of these thoughts originated.  As much as I would like to be understood and loved, I realize that it is in loving that we are loved and find love....and in knowing that we are known.  ;)  I think that part of this is having the confidence to be yourself (even in new situations) and assume that others want to know you.  ;)

A couple of other interesting thoughts on this subject:

• Mosiah 26:24
• "It Is Not Good That...Man Should Be Alone" - talk by President Kevin J. Worthen

...and I think this is the perfect spot to start the 14-day challenge - #LoveOneAnother! <3

Stomach Tied in Knots

It's a real thing.  I seriously felt like my appendix might be bursting or something worse.  Apparently there are a few things that can cause knots.  Buying a house is one of them.  ;)

PS - They were gone 48 hours after I signed the papers.  Phew!!

Where is home?

I'm reading a neat book lately, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life.  We'd teach as missionaries and at the MTC that questions are a key to teaching and learning, but this book is helping me see and remember the importance of good questions and how in fact they can change us.

While thinking about some of the examples from the book, I ran into someone yesterday afternoon who obviously knows these principles well.  His question to me (in the two minutes we were together) was "where is home?"  I thought about that question for the rest of the evening and it kept teaching me.  :)

He could have asked "where do you live?" and I wouldn't have thought about the question again, but I love the question "where is home?"  What would your answer be, if you had more than two minutes to explain the answer to someone?

I thought about heaven, I thought about family, I thought about Hawaii, I thought about St. George, I thought about Korea, I thought about Salt Lake City, I thought about the fact that I've been searching for a home for a long time!  :)

Ultimately this question turns my heart to heaven.  Tonight (while cheering on the Cougars) I'm going to prepare some questions that will hopefully help me learn what I need to tomorrow at General Conference and bring me closer to home.  :)

Women

I have been inspired over the past several weeks thinking about the important role of women.  I know that I am (and each woman on the earth is) a beloved spirit daughter of God, with a divine nature and destiny.  Gender is an essential characteristic of our eternal identity (see The Family: A Proclamation to the World).  Men and women are different, but complement each other and as we work together, especially in families.  We can grow and help each other progress and gain our ultimate goal of eternal life.  The eternal perspective helps us understand our roles a little bit better, but even here and now it is good to understand that we need each other and that we have unique roles for a purpose.

In her October 2013 talk, Do We Know What We Have?, Sister Carole M. Stephens taught, "Sons of God need daughters of God, and daughters of God need sons of God."  As daughters of God we have a unique capacity and innate ability to love and nurture, to seek out and help those in need, to serve and to bless, to teach and encourage, and to help save His children.  We can be a powerful influence (regardless of our circumstances) in strengthening families and homes.  We can increase our faith and personal righteousness and teach others to do the same.  As we remember our true noble identity as beloved spirit daughters of God and counsel together in families and as leaders we truly can bless other individuals, our communities, and the world.

In 1842, after organizing the Relief Society, Joseph Smith taught, "You are now placed in a situation where you can act according to those sympathies which God has planted in your bosoms.  If you live up to these principles how great and glorious!--if you live up to your privilege, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates....If you will be pure, nothing can hinder (See Daughters in My Kingdom)."  What a beautiful blessing and promise and responsibility!

Some confuse and misunderstand equality.  We can't lose sight of who we are - "We are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves us and we love Him" (see the Young Women's Theme and Relief Society Declaration).  This idea was repeated over and over again in the beautiful testimonies and teachings of our leaders at tonight's General Women's Meeting.

Much has been said and discussed recently about women and their roles and worth in society.....and also as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I recently read an article in the New York Times, Missions Signal a Growing Role for Mormon Women.  I felt like the tone and main focus of the article weren't quite accurate and since I fall into both categories of women they were interviewing and trying to represent (women who served LDS missions in South Korea and single LDS women in their 30's) I wanted to share my thoughts.

In October 2012, the age at which missionaries could serve was lowered to 18-years for men and 19-years for women.  This is a wonderful opportunity.  The Lord needs more missionaries now to help hasten His work of salvation to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with all the world.  That's what the focus of this article should have been - hastening the work!  As long as I can remember, or as far as I have understood, women have led, taught, served, been respected, been loved, and been given important responsibilities and opportunities to build the kingdom.  Sisters have been serving as full-time missionaries since 1898 (see The First Sister Missionaries and History of Missionary Work in the Church) and performing roles as missionaries since the very early days of the Church (see Women with a Mission).

I loved being a full-time missionary (over ten years ago) and serving in South Korea provided an especially unique opportunity for sister missionaries.  Even back then there were more sisters than in many other countries and areas because, as a part of their culture, Korean women would only listen to other women.  We often had opportunities to get into homes that elders couldn't.  We worked together to help families come to Christ and it was wonderful!  One of the greatest blessings of my life since my mission was teaching and preparing missionaries (elders and sisters) getting ready to serve in Korea.  I don't know of a more meaningful way to make a difference and have an influence than to teach.  But, you don't have to be a full-time missionary to teach and lead.  I have been blessed by the influence and example and leadership of many wonderful people in my life.  I have had opportunities (as a single sister) to sit in council meetings with other leaders and discuss together how to serve and bless the lives of those in our area.  I've felt listened to and heard, particularly by priesthood leaders.  Being a leader means serving!  It's not about power, but about selflessly blessing others' lives and doing good.

As we learn in Doctrine and Covenants 58:26-27, "It is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.  Verily I say, men [and women] should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness."  To me that means we don't need a calling or any other power or authority to do good.  We simply look for ways to bless others in small and meaningful ways.  The Spirit can guide us and we can be an instrument in the Lord's hands to bring about His purposes and will.

Sister Eliza R. Snow taught, "Tell the sisters to go forth and discharge their duties, in humility and faithfulness and the Spirit of God will rest upon them and they will be blest in their labors.  Let them seek for wisdom instead of power and they will have all the power they have wisdom to exercise (Daughters in My Kingdom, p. 45)."

In his October 2013 talk The Moral Force of Women, Elder D. Todd Christofferson quoted Sister Margaret Nadauld who said, “The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”

Elder M. Russell Ballard has said, "We believe in and are counting on your goodness and your strength, your propensity for virtue and valor, your kindness and courage, your strength and resilience.....We believe that the Church simply will not accomplish what it must without your faith and faithfulness, your innate tendency to put the well-being of others ahead of your own, and your spiritual strength and tenacity (Daughters in My Kingdom, Chapter 10)."

In September 1979, President Spencer W. Kimball was in the hospital and not able to give his talk at a women's fireside, so his wife, Sister Camilla Kimball read his talk - The Role of Righteous Women.  You have to watch it!  It's beautiful!!

There is so much good we can and must do!  As Sister Kristen Oaks says in her book, A Single Voice, we should not wait one minute to do good.  "There are no perfect circumstances, only perfect faith.  We are all just trying (p. 125)."

There is a unique role for women to play in our Heavenly Father's kingdom.  I think it's remarkable to think of Eve and her role and courageous example in doing His will, even though it would bring heartache and trials.  I love Abish and her quiet, faithful example and being ready to courageously gather others together to learn of Jesus Christ and His message when the time was right.  It's so sweet that the tender Mary Magdalene returning to the tomb was the first to see the risen Lord.  I am inspired by selfless mothers and "guardians of the hearth" that I know and love.

I am grateful for our Heavenly Father's love and our Savior's mission that will bring us back to our Father.  We can't do it alone!  I know that as we focus on Him, keep our covenants, follow the prophet, and trust in the Lord in faith and humility we will be blessed, we will be happy, and we can be used as an instrument in His hands to accomplish good in our own lives and in blessing those around us.

Homemaking

I have a traveler's, explorer's, wanderer's heart in many ways, but this past year I have been thinking A LOT about the importance of home!  Home is where the heart is.  Home is family.  Home is love.  Home is comfort and refuge, safety and peace.  Home is full of traditions and culture.  Home is much more than a building or place to sleep or furniture and decorations.  It is where we live and learn and study and grow.

We learn in the Bible Dictionary under the topic of Temple that "a temple is literally a house of the Lord, a holy sanctuary in which sacred ceremonies and ordinances of the gospel are performed...a place where the Lord may come, it is the most holy of any place of worship on the earth.  Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness".  I love that and I think that our attitude towards home and the importance of home will determine the spirit that fills our home.

A few months ago we had a nice Relief Society meeting about creating a home.  The sister sweet 90-plus-year-old sister teaching the lesson focused on D&C 88:119, "Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God".  She acknowledged all that needs to be done in a home and the importance of being organized, professional and finding balance.  Home is a laboratory for living and a refuge of peace, serenity, safety, respect, and fun.  The homemaker is the CEO and should be up on time and professionally dressed and organized with a calendar in hand.  She acknowledged that each family is different, but recommended family business meetings (where everyone brings their calendar), no toy boxes (but every toy having a place), study areas, wearing an apron, and planning out a weekly menu and shopping list.  It was inspiring to learn from her!  We can create an environment around us that invites the Spirit into our lives.

Growing up in Hawaii and having a traveler's heart has made me not very attached to things, but this past year I have been looking for a home and striving to create a home, even though my immediate family is very small.  :)  While I'm still searching for the right physical location and building and hopefully someone else to join me there :) ...there are some things I can do and that we should all think about doing regardless of what kind of home we live in.


There are many inspiring scriptures about home:

• Lehi dwelt in a tent because he was being obedient to the Lord (see 1 Nephi 2:15).
• Essentially, Captain Moroni rallied the troops to defend their homes (see Alma 46:12).
• One of my all time favorite scriptures about home is found in 3 Nephi 17:3.  Here the Savior has been teaching the people and He instructs them to to "go ye unto your homes, and ponder upon the things which I have said, and ask of the Father, in my name, that ye may understand, and prepare your minds for the morrow, and I come unto you again."  I think that teaches us much about the sacred importance of what our homes should be.

One of the greatest resources we have today is The Family: A Proclamation to the World.  This divinely inspired document is full of truths that are important for us to learn and study and live.  This article from 2005 is inspiring:  A Practical guide for building a gospel-centered home, as well as the Guide to the Scriptures and the Topical Guide.


There are MANY wonderful General Conference talks about home:

• President Gordon B. Hinckley's April 1971 talk "Except the Lord Build the House..."
• President Spencer W. Kimball's April 1978 talk Living the Gospel in the Home
• President Thomas S. Monson's October 1988 talk Hallmarks of a Happy Home
• Elder Rex D. Pinegar's April 1990 talk "Home First"
• Elder Marvin J. Ashton's October 1992 talk A Yearning for Home
• Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin's April 1993 talk Spiritually Strong Homes and Families
• Elder Eran A. Call's October 1997 talk The Home: A Refuge and Sanctuary
• Elder Robert D. Hales' April 1999 talk Strengthening Families: Our Sacred Duty
• President Thomas S. Monson's April 2000 talk Your Eternal Home
• Elder Dennis B. Neuenschwander's April 2003 talk Holy Place, Sacred Space
• Sister Susan W. Tanner's April 2003 talk Did I Tell You...?
• President Thomas S. Monson's October 2003 talk Bring Him Home
• Elder Gary E. Stevenson's April 2009 talk Sacred Homes, Sacred Temples
• Elder David A. Bednar's October 2009 talk More Diligent and Concerned at Home
• Elder Richard G. Scott's April 2013 talk For Peace at Home

....and inspiring music:

• For the Beauty of the Earth
• Love at Home
• Home Can Be a Heaven on Earth
• I Am A Child of God
• O, My Father

Ultimately we are here on earth to learn and prepare ourselves to return to our heavenly home (our real home).  I'm pretty sure we will feel most comfortable there if we have spent our time here focusing on building homes after the same pattern of faith, righteousness, goodness, kindness, and love.

glad to be home

It's nice to be home and back to a routine and not chasing trains all across Europe.  :)  But it's mostly great to be home to hang out with this bunch.....  :)