2020 in Review

Well... I didn't make any goals for the year... mostly I just tried to survive, with the rest of the world. ;)  I never could have imagined all that the year would bring.  It wasn't easy, but I was blessed and learned a lot.  It's been interesting to go through a global challenge, but realize that it (and other concerns) created different problems for each of us.  While I'm more grateful than ever for health, a home, a supportive family, food to eat, work to do, good friends, peaceful retreats to the mountains, technology that's helped us stay connected, and the direction of the Spirit, 2020 was kind of a lonely year.  I have a new appreciation for many of the simple and most important blessings in my life.  Here are a few highlights....

Things I Learned

During this unique year, I've been reminded of the importance of:

• recognizing the tender mercies of the Lord 
• being humble
• listening to the voice of the Lord and His Spirit
• studying His words
• listening to others
• seeing people
• being kind
• caring
• looking to God
• praying and fasting
• being patient
• continuing on, pressing forward with faith
• coming unto Jesus Christ and believing in Him
• remembering and trusting that we are in the Lord's hands
• remembering Him (and that He has not forgotten us)
• expressing gratitude 
• giving compliments
• praising God
• being still and quiet
• learning from the journey and any challenges that come
• seeing the good and being the good
• appreciating and feeling connected to generations gone before
• working and waiting
• being united even when we're different and far away
• building and maintaining relationships
• reading good books
• having good conversations and discussions
• visiting beautiful and peaceful places

Family / Relationships
Grandma Kunzler passed away on January 9.  It was a real blessing (more than we knew at the time) to be able to be together with all of her posterity in January to celebrate her life and goodness and remember the things she taught us--love the Lord, love each other, love truth.  Beginning in March, I was grateful for weekly family Zoom calls, as well as outdoor adventures scattered throughout the year.  Even the drive-by visits were nice.  I got to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with my parents in St. George which was rejuvenating.  I was grateful for regular walks and some hiking trips with friends, as well as a weekly Come, Follow Me study group via Zoom.

Traveling
I missed traveling this year, but luckily I didn't have any plans to go anywhere when the year started, so there was a little less disappointment.  I did get my passport renewed in January, so I'm ready to go when I can again! ;)  Even for an introvert, it was a little claustrophobic to be home so much, but I'm more grateful than ever for my warm and comfortable home, as well as good books and hiking trails.  I'm grateful to have traveled so much last year and look forward to seeing some new places someday (maybe Iceland, Norway, Denmark, Croatia, Thailand, Patagonia, Machu Picchu, and Mt. Kilimanjaro).  

This year, getting out of the house consisted of:

• The office - I was still there in person almost every weekday.  I shifted from Trax to driving to work in March and was grateful for more time in the mornings and less traffic.  I was grateful for chances to observe the construction progress at the Salt Lake Temple.  It really has been a unique year on Temple Square.
• The mountains - I love the mountains.  Even with more people on the trails, I found beautiful places of solitude and peace in some favorite spots--Albion Basin, Willow Heights Lake, Mill D, Lake Solitude, Dog Lake, Timpanogos, the Suspension Bridge, and the Draper trails.
• St. George - I made it to St. George three times this year--Father's Day weekend, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I'm grateful for a place to get away and relax and be with family.

Reading
This year I read the Book of Mormon three times.  It was such a blessing to study this incredible book this year!  I can't think of anything better to help put life into perspective and deal with the daily challenges.  This year, I was particularly looking for "the great things the Lord hath done... the covenants of the Lord... and Jesus--the Christ, the Eternal God."  I found that and more!  

The Lord is mindful of all of His children--from Lehi, Nephi, Laman, Lemuel, Jacob, Enos, King Benjamin, Zeniff, Abinadi, Alma, Alma the Younger, Amulek, the sons of Mosiah, the Anti-Nephi-Lehies and their sons, Helaman, Mormon, the Brother of Jared, Ether, Moroni, Joseph Smith, to each one of us.  He guided them in the wilderness.  He guides us.  He provides commandments, prophets, His Spirit, light, peace, strength.  We can believe Him and trust Him and follow Him.  He keeps His promises.  He is with us.  If we will listen, see, open our hearts, give place, seek diligently, choose Him, wait for Him... He will be there.  All things testify of Christ.  All that is good comes from Him.  Jesus Christ is THE way, the truth, and the life.

One of my big takeaways and something I look forward to studying further next year is the constant invitation to "come unto Christ."  What does that mean?  How do we do that?

In addition to this study, I read 95 books. Here are some of my favorites (in no particular order):

• Saints, Volume 2
• The Divine Gift of Forgiveness by Neil L. Andersen
• The Millennial Messiah by Bruce R. McConkie
• The Gateway We Call Death by Russell M. Nelson
• Eve and Adam by Melinda Wheelwright Brown
• Finding Christ Through the Book of Mormon by Susan Easton Black
• What the Scriptures Teach Us About Adversity by S. Michael Wilcox
• What Seek Ye? by S. Michael Wilcox
• The Founder of Our Peace by John Hilton III
• The Power of Stillness by Jacob Hess, Carrie Skarda, Kyle Anderson, Ty Mansfield
• I Saw a Pillar of Light by Robert L. Millet
• Almighty, Redeemer, and Spirit by David Butler
• Morality: Restoring the Common Good in Divided Times by Jonathan Sacks
• The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson
• You're Not Listening by Kate Murphy
• Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
• The Great Influenza by John M. Barry
• Real Change by Sharon Salzberg
• Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport
• The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers by Maxwell King
• The Shape of Mercy by Susan Meissner
• While We're Far Apart by Lynn Austin
• If I Were You by Lynn Austin
• A Light to My Path by Lynn Austin
• What the Wind Knows by Amy Harmon
• The Other Side of the Bridge by Camron Wright
• The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind by William Kamkwamba
• Mustaches for Maddie by Chad Morris and Shelly Brown

I was also grateful for those who recognized and shared goodness this year.  With so much that was negative and discouraging, there were many that shared hope in large and small ways.  Those examples in word and deed were inspiring and encouraging to me.

Learning / Service
I learned a lot this year and have a new appreciation for challenges others face.  I found that I needed to be more intentional with service this year.  I could have done more, but I found meaningful one-on-one opportunities to reach out to neighbors and friends and family members, as well as spending time learning about others' trials and giving where I could.  

• Temples - This year I attended the temple regularly in January, February, and March. Since then I have really missed attending the temple, but I appreciate its blessings and peace even more. 
• Service - While I couldn't be at the temple, I made an effort to index more and participate in family history work, part of which was helping to type up some of my Dad's harvested memories, which was really fun.  I have a renewed commitment to consistently write in my journal.  I spent time listening to friends.  I spent time reading and learning about people and organizations that need help.  I'd like to do more next year.  I recognized even more the sacrifices and generosity of others and the small things that people do to lift and inspire others.  I'm grateful for these examples and hope to better express my gratitude next year.
• Church - I enjoyed teaching Sunday School again this year--two classes in person and three classes via Zoom.  My testimony of and love for the The Book of Mormon has grown.  I know this book is the word of God, it brings us closer to Him, and was written for our day.
• Fitness and Nature - Hiking and walking were lifesavers this year.  I tried to avoid weekend hiking crowds, but long summer nights were a great time to explore and find peace.  I worked hard to try to keep myself and others around me healthy.  I hope to work on being even healthier next year.

I'm grateful for all that I've learned this year and am looking forward to a brand new year to keep learning and growing.

The Right Way is to Believe in Christ

I'm grateful for the opportunity to share my testimony today of our Savior Jesus Christ, His mission, His ministry, and His gospel… and the hope that it brings each one of us. 

Twenty years ago, this very day, was my first full day in the mission field.  I was on the other side of the world and excited to learn and to share.  I was humbled, and overwhelmed, and felt inadequate, but I was full of faith in Him and grateful for the message of joy and hope we were sharing.  Of the places I've visited and people I've met in my life since then, Korea and Koreans still hold a special place in my heart. ;)

One thing I heard a number of times as a missionary, and something I'm sure many of you have heard in other places and situations in your life (and maybe increasingly so today), is the idea that... all roads lead to the top of the mountain... it doesn't really matter which one you take or what you believe.  As someone who enjoys hiking, I don't mind a new trail every now and then, but today I'd like to share with you my firm testimony of our Savior, Jesus Christ who truly is "THE way, the truth, and the life."[i]

As I was turning the page in the Come, Follow Me manual last week (after having studied Moroni 1-6), I noticed that the title of the lesson for those chapters was… "to keep them in the right way."  I hadn't focused on that phrase in my study, but it caught my attention because I had just read 2 Nephi 25:28-29, which says:  "... the right way is to believe in Christ and deny him not; for by denying him ye also deny the prophets and the law.  And now behold, I say unto you that the right way is to believe in Christ, and deny him not; and Christ is the Holy One of Israel; wherefore ye must bow down before him, and worship him with all your might, mind, and strength, and your whole soul."[ii]

This was also an important part of Moroni's message: "I, Moroni, will not deny the Christ... None were received unto baptism save they took upon them the name of Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end.... their names were taken, that they might be remembered and nourished by the good word of God, to keep them in the right way..."[iii]

There are many things we think about and strive to do, even as disciples of Christ, but these verses helped remind me of the simple, plain, straight, and narrow way.  As we believe in Christ and deny Him not, we are "in the right way."  He will be the author and finisher of our faith.  As we press forward, steadfastly focused on Him, we can have eternal life.  I'm grateful to know that path, that trail, the right way... even Jesus Christ. 

So, what does it mean to believe in Jesus Christ and to deny Him not?  What does it mean to take His name upon us and serve him with determination to the end?  I think for each one of us there may be a slightly different answer in any given moment... something the Spirit teaches us to focus on... but, in general, I think believing in Christ includes…  

·         learning of Him (who He is, what He does, why He does it), 

·         striving to hear His words and the voice of the prophets,

·         seeking and following the Spirit’s direction,

·         keeping His commandments,

·         remembering Him always,

·         making and keeping covenants,

·         having a broken heart and a contrite spirit,

·         humbly striving to know and do His will,

·         looking for His hand, His handiwork, and His miracles all around us,

·         acknowledging His blessings, His grace, His mercy, His justice,

·         desiring to follow Him,

·         repenting,

·         coming to Him with our concerns,

·         trusting Him and relying on Him,

·         courageously standing as a witness of Him and His goodness,

·         not losing hope in His promises to us,

·         avoiding distractions and keeping Him the focus and most important priority in our lives,

·         rejoicing in Him,

·         sharing our hope in Him with others,

·         looking for ways to love and minister,

·         going about doing good,

·         working diligently,

·         remembering the great things He has done for us and those that have gone before,

·         praying always,

·         giving thanks in all things,

·         inviting others to come to Him,

·         and remaining steadfast in faith in Him.

President Nelson gave a talk at BYU in August 1998 titled "Gratitude for the Mission and Ministry of Jesus Christ.”  In this talk he identifies our Savior’s two objectives as (1) His mission and (2) His ministry.  President Nelson teaches that Jesus’ mission was His Atonement.  He refers to 3 Nephi 27:13-14 as the Lord’s mission statement, when Jesus said: “I came into the world to do the will of my Father, because my Father sent me. And my Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me.”

I love that clarity!  Jesus' mission was the Atonement; it was why He came to earth.  Isaiah reminds us that “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.”[iv]  Without Jesus fulfilling His mission there would be no hope for us.  But He did and there is hope!  He is hope! 

Prophets had this hope before Jesus was born.  I love King Benjamin’s testimony of the Savior’s mission.  In Mosiah 3, he shares with his people what an angel taught him.  The angel said: “I am come to declare unto you the glad tidings of great joy… For behold, the time cometh, and is not far distant, that with power, the Lord Omnipotent who reigneth, who was, and is from all eternity to all eternity, shall come down from heaven among the children of men, and shall dwell in a tabernacle of clay, and shall go forth amongst men, working mighty miracles, such as healing the sick, raising the dead, causing the lame to walk, the blind to receive their sight, and the deaf to hear, and curing all manner of diseases… And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people. And he shall be called Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Father of heaven and earth, the Creator of all things from the beginning… And lo, he cometh unto his own, that salvation might come unto the children of men even through faith on his name; … And moreover, I say unto you, that there shall be no other name given nor any other way nor means whereby salvation can come unto the children of men, only in and through the name of Christ, the Lord Omnipotent.”[v]

The angel’s teachings not only testify of the Savior’s Atonement, but also Jesus’ second objective that President Nelson identifies as His ministry.  Beyond His mission of the Atonement, Jesus also offered an example of the importance of love, ordinances, prayer, knowledge, and enduring to the end.  After discussing each of these, President Nelson says this:  "Surely the best evidence of our adoration of Jesus is our emulation of him."[vi]  I love that!  Jesus Christ is the only way.  He also showed us the way.  The best way we can show our love for Him is by trying to follow Him and be like Him. 

I appreciated the #LighttheWorld invitation earlier this month to identify Christlike examples around us.  That invitation helped me pause to think about some of the attributes and characteristics of the Savior and then recognize where I see them in others.  It also made me think about what it means to take upon us the name of Jesus Christ. 

Jesus Christ heals, He is an advocate and mediator, He offers peace, He finds stillness, He creates beauty, He is obedient, He is humble, He is kind, He is steadfast and immovable, He is meek, He is merciful, He is just, He feeds the hungry, He visits the sick, He sits with one person, He listens, He teaches, He sees people and their needs, He helps others see, He gives His time, He has compassion, He blesses, He prays, He seeks to know and do His Father’s will, He calms, He forgives, He waits patiently, He cheers, He frees us, He fulfills, He calls, He softens hearts, He cares, He mourns with friends, He comforts, He strengthens, He eases burdens, He gathers people, He remembers, He loves, He touches, He walks with us, He comes, He invites us to come, He brings light, He leads, He delivers, and He lifts us up! 

These are also characteristics I observe in family members, friends, and others…  

·       I will never forget a sweet experience I had when visiting my brother’s family in New York City a few years ago.  We were on the subway and someone on our car was asking for money.  Most were ignoring this man’s pleas.  My sweet 4-year-old nephew happened to have a dime or a nickel in his hand and kept watching this man with real concern.  He didn’t say anything but turned to look at his mom a couple of times and after a few seconds of thinking about what to do, he walked across the car and handed this coin to this man.  Suddenly everyone seemed to be paying attention.  The spirit in that entire section of the car was lifted.  This man and everyone nearby couldn’t help but smile.  Obviously, this dime or nickel wasn’t going to save him, but someone seeing him seemed to bless all of us.

·       I also think of my sister and brother-in-law who show up when they know I need help—whether that’s spending a couple of hours putting together a treadmill or bringing their children by to brighten my day from the car windows. 

·       I think of my parents who share light with everyone on their path—whether that’s listening to me, being positive and kind to everyone they meet, or sharing with others.

·       I think of my aunt who had brain surgery earlier this year.  Things haven’t gone as smoothly as she’d hoped, but she continues forward rejoicing in the Lord and His goodness.

·       I think of friends who pray for each other and send uplifting and encouraging text messages.

·       I think of health care and other essential workers this year who have offered kindness and hope in difficult times.

I'm grateful for good examples.  I'm grateful for His example and goodness.  I hope we can each see people around us being like Jesus and maybe even share with them those Christlike attributes we observe.  Then, with His help, we can work to incorporate these attributes and characteristics in our lives, too.  Like Moroni invited us this week, we can “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that [we] may be filled with [His] love.”[vii]

In October 2017, Elder Christofferson taught, “As we partake of the sacramental bread and water… we would do well to consider how fully and completely we must incorporate His character and the pattern of His sinless life into our life and being… We cannot be content to remain as we are but must be moving constantly toward ‘the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.’”[viii]  And President Howard W. Hunter once taught, “The real Christmas comes to him who has taken Christ into his life as a moving, dynamic, vitalizing force.”[ix]  

In the last general conference Elder Scott D. Whiting taught, “Becoming as Jesus Christ is will require changing our hearts and minds, indeed, our very character, and doing so is possible only through the saving grace of Jesus Christ… Christlike attributes are gifts from a loving Heavenly Father to bless us and those around us. Accordingly, our efforts to obtain these attributes will require heartfelt pleas for His divine assistance.”[x]

President Hunter gave some wonderful examples of becoming more like Jesus Christ, when he invited us in a 1994 Christmas message to… “Mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a letter. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Apologize. Try to understand. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Be kind. Be gentle. Laugh a little more. Express your gratitude. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love and then speak it again.”[xi]

All of these are examples of believing in Christ and denying Him not, helping us to “stay in the right way.” 

I love the Book of Mormon and the powerful witness it provides that Jesus is the Christ!  During this uniquely challenging year, I have been so grateful to be studying it more deeply.  Its teachings of Jesus Christ and His mission and His ministry have provided peace and direction and an increase of the Spirit in my life. 

I’d like to close today with the beautiful story of Christmas as told in 3 Nephi 1.  Here we find powerful examples of people who, like Moroni, would not deny the Christ.  They were watching for the sign of Jesus’ birth here on the American continent: “Behold, they did watch steadfastly for that day and that night and that day which should be as one day as if there were no night...  Now it came to pass that there was a day set apart by the unbelievers, that all those who believed in those traditions should be put to death except the sign should come to pass, which had been given by Samuel the prophet. Now… when Nephi... saw this wickedness of his people, his heart was exceedingly sorrowful. And… he went out and bowed himself down upon the earth, and cried mightily to his God in behalf of his people, yea, those who were about to be destroyed because of their faith… And it came to pass that he cried mightily unto the Lord all that day; and behold, the voice of the Lord came unto him, saying: Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfil all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets.”[xii]

In April 2017, President Nelson taught, “True disciples of Jesus Christ are willing to stand out, speak up, and be different from the people of the world.  They are undaunted, devoted, and courageous… There is nothing easy or automatic about becoming such powerful disciples.  Our focus must be riveted on the Savior and His gospel.  It is mentally rigorous to strive to look unto Him in every thought.  But, when we do, our doubts and fears flee.”[xiii]

I testify that Jesus Christ did come.  He was born in a humble place.  He came to do the Father’s will.  He came to save all of us.  He came to provide the way for us to return home to our Heavenly Father.  He came to set an example for us to follow.  We can find joy and peace as we diligently strive to follow Him, stand as witnesses of Him, and share the blessings of His gospel and our Heavenly Father’s plan with others.  He invites each one of us to come unto Him.  When we do, He promises to walk with us and show us the way.  I know He lives and loves us.  I know He is the way, the truth, and the life and that every good thing comes from Him, and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

---

[i] John 14:6.

[ii] 2 Nephi 25:28-29.

[iii] Moroni 1:4, 6:3-4.

[iv] Isaiah 53:6.

[v] Mosiah 3:2-17.

[vi] Russell M. Nelson, “Gratitude for the Mission and Ministry of Jesus Christ,” BYU Devotional, Aug. 18, 1998.

[vii] Moroni 7:48.

[viii] D. Todd Christofferson, “The Living Bread Which Came Down from Heaven,” General Conference, Oct. 2017.

[ix] Howard W. Hunter, “The Real Christmas,” BYU Devotional, Dec. 5, 1972.

[x] Scott D. Whiting, “Becoming like Him,” General Conference, Oct. 2020.

[xi] Howard W. Hunter, “The Gifts of Christmas,” First Presidency Christmas Devotional, Dec. 4, 1994.

[xii] 3 Nephi 1:8-13.

[xiii]  Russell M. Nelson, “Drawing the Power of Jesus Christ into Our Lives,” General Conference, Apr. 2017.

"For now we see through a glass darkly"

The last few months a phrase from 1 Corinthians 13:12 has taken on new meaning for me.  "For now we see through a glass darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known." This verse is surrounded by faith, hope, and charity; characteristics of the Savior. 

This verse is descriptive in a way that I can relate to well.  I've never had wonderful eyesight, but with glasses since I was three and dependable contacts since I was fourteen, I've almost forgotten how blurry things can get.  The last couple of months, probably to celebrate my 40th birthday, I've been seeing more as this scripture describes.  Our eyes really are amazing things!  It's remarkable that there are glasses and contacts and eye drops and surgeries that can help so well, but there's not always a solution and sometimes we either have to trust and/or get used to the new normal.  What I love about this verse most is the reminder that ultimately our Heavenly Father is the one that can truly see things as they are and it's important to try to know Him. ;)  He can help us see clearly.  I wonder if sometimes blurred physical vision might actually be a blessing that helps us to remember to trust in and rely on Him and His goodness and miracles and purposes and really look for Him!!  Maybe we can see Him better if we aren't distracted by things of this world, as beautiful as they might be. 

As frustrating as it is to "see through a glass darkly," I think He's asking us to truly seek Him, see Him, know Him. This year, one of the things that has brought me the most joy has been studying the New Testament. My heart has changed and grown nearly three sizes, I think.  I've always loved the scriptures.  I have great memories of reading and learning with family and friends growing up.  This year I found added light and love and purpose.  I've learned to love our Savior, Jesus Christ, even more.  I feel like I know Him a little bit better.  He is kind, loving, merciful, and just.  He is real and He is present.  He is the Good Shepherd, the Light and Life and Hope of the world, the Prince of Peace, our Advocate, Savior, Deliverer, and Redeemer.

Some of my favorite stories about Him this year include His interactions with the children, the blind man on His path (and Elder Holland's timely reference to this same man in general conference in October made me cry), the widow who gave her two mites, the rich young ruler, the woman at the well, Mary and Martha, Peter, Paul, and each of the disciples.  But I think I loved most of all how He constantly teaches us about our Heavenly Father and His great love and plan and purpose and will (see John 5:17, 30).

A few other verses and phrases I've loved include the following:

• What seek ye? (John 1:38; Matthew 6:19-21, 33; 1 Nephi 10:17-19)
• Ask, God gives good gifts (Matthew 6:8; Luke 11:9-13)
• Go to a solitary place (Mark 1:35)
• Know Him (Matthew 7:22-23; Mosiah 26:22-30)
• Who hath ears to hear, let Him hear... walk by faith not sight... see as He sees (Mark 10:21)
• He is risen! Rejoice!  Come and see, go and tell (Matthew 28:5-10, Philippians 4:4)
• Be ready to give an answer for the hope that is in you (1 Peter 3:15)
• What is eternal life? How do we obtain it? What lack I yet? (D&C 14:7; John 17:3; Luke 18:18)
• Be as children (Mark 10:13-16)
• Love the Lord, give all (Luke 21:1-4)
• What would you have me do? (Acts 9:6–8)
• A minister and a witness (Acts 22:15a and 26:16b)
• Be of good cheer, believe God! (Acts 27:25)
• If God be for us, who can be against us? Nothing separates us from love of God (Romans 8:31, 35-37)
• Put the law in your hearts (Hebrews 10:16)
• Cast not away your confidence, receive promises; see them far off (Hebrews 10:35-36; 11:13)
• Run with patience the race set before us, look to Jesus (Hebrews 12:1-2)
• Overcome by blood of the Lamb and word of testimonies (JST Revelations 12:11)
• Do the Lord's will, fulfill mission (Rev. 10:9-10)
• He stands at the door and knocks (Revelations 3:20)
• Blessing, honour, glory, power to the Lamb for ever and ever! (Revelations 5:12-13)

A few other words and ideas I feel like I heard over and over... unity, peace, humility, revelation, courage, loyalty, abundance, gentle, dear to us, holy, walk with God, love, continue, abide.... and the reminder to see and hear and know... Matthew 11:7-11, 15 is beautiful. "And as they departed, Jesus began to say unto the multitudes concerning John, What went ye out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken with the wind? But what went ye out for to see? A man clothed in soft raiment? behold, they that wear soft clothing are in kings’ houses. But what went ye out for to see? A prophet? yea, I say unto you, and more than a prophet. For this is he, of whom it is written, Behold, I send my messenger before thy face, which shall prepare thy way before thee. Verily I say unto you, Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist: notwithstanding he that is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he... He that hath ears to hear, let him hear."  Later in Matthew 13:13-16 where the Savior is teaching the Parable of the Sower, He says more about why He speaks in parables and how we need to open our eyes and ears and hearts in order to be converted and healed by Him.

I want to see, I want to hear, I want to understand, I want to know.  My prayers lately have been, "Dear Father, please help me to be able to see what I need to see."  He answers those prayers. :)

There's a Christmas song that seems to go along with this message...
“Do you see what I see… Do you hear what I hear…”

I don't see and know a lot, but what I do see and hear and understand brings me great joy and makes me want to shout... "Hark, now hear the angels sing!  A new King's born today, and we will live forever more because of Christmas day."

“We talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins” (2 Nephi 25:26).

“Break forth into joy, sing together…for the Lord hath comforted his people, he hath redeemed Jerusalem. The Lord hath made bare his holy arm in the eyes of all the nations; and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God” (Mosiah 15:30-31).

“Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel” (Alma 26:16).

"Jesus, our only joy be thou, As thou our prize wilt be;
Jesus, be thou our glory now, And thru eternity."

"Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light."

Although we can't see everything now, we can have faith and rejoice in Jesus who will help us to see, and bring us goodness and light in the meantime. ;)

Looking Forward to 2019

This year I need some goals.  I need to progress.  I need to accomplish something.  :)

I realize that anything I accomplish will be tied to my desires, so I've spent some time thinking about what I really want and need in my life (What seek ye? - see John 1:38 and Ether 12:41) and hope to connect my goals to these things, so that I'm able to accomplish the most meaningful good and improvement.

Desires:
* To know and love the Savior, Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father better, and have the constant guidance of the Holy Spirit.
* To learn and do His will, to build the kingdom of God, to help gather Israel, to fulfill my mission, to keep my covenants, to be ready, worthy, waiting, watching for the Savior’s return, the celestial kingdom, and eternal life, I want to be there--don't want to miss it!  This probably involves having a broken heart, a contrite spirit, and being humble enough every day to follow Him!
* To find an eternal companion, and build a happy marriage and family; find companionship, real friends, and build meaningful relationships; while always working to strengthen family relationships!
* To find truth, understanding, wisdom, peace, contentment, simplicity, clarity, direction, order, focus, purpose, meaning, happiness, joy.
* To find opportunities to learn, grow, progress, develop skills and talents, serve, help others, be useful and fruitful!
* To improve, repent, get ride of pride, be more selfless, more faithful, more thoughtful, more generous

Goals:
* Consistent faith-filled prayer.  Being more grateful, humble, full of love, and concern for others.
* Consistent meaningful study.  There is much I want to know and understand.  I want to work on gathering together in one the truth I learn.  I hope to find a consistent way to record what I learn, including a revelation/prayer journal, helping me to act on the things I learn and recognize progress in living the gospel better.  I'd like to continue my study of the standard works and the names, words, mission, and characteristics of Christ (including a focus on the Topical Guide and "The Living Christ").  I look forward to studying the New Testament and all of the Come, Follow Me resources for Sunday School this year.  I also plan to read the Book of Mormon at least twice focusing on a specific topic each time.  I'd like to read and study some selected BYU devotionals and continue to add to my favorite talks list, as I have time and hear good ones.  I also hope to find ways to have meaningful gospel discussions with family, friends, and others.

* Consistent meaningful service.  This year I want to find somewhere I can spend regular time helping others, besides the other things I hope to help my friends and family with, as needs arise.
* Consistent temple worship.  I feel like this hardly needs to be a goal--I love the temple and it's a great blessing to be there each week.  I hope to continue this habit and include more of my own family history work in the process.

* Learn, grow.  I hope to learn more this year, by reading and experiencing the world.  I plan to simplify my book reports a bit, but continue to read as much and to write.  I also plan to travel some and learn more about the world around me.  I had a pretty loose goal last year to work on improving my piano skills.  I'd like to be more focused on that and/or possibly Spanish this year.  There may be other gifts, talents, skills I can cultivate and I really want this to be a focus this year of using my time to learn and grow in the best ways and hopefully find joy in the process.  (I was inspired by President Eyring's art exhibit at the Church History Museum the last few months and how he used his "extra" to learn, create beauty, and find joy... I can limit social media and other distractions and do that too, in my own artist ways.)  I also plan to be a diligent journal keeper this year.  It's been a long time since I've been diligent in that regard and want to change.  And in all of these things that I learn, I hope to involve other people. ;)  Learning and growing in relationships is a key.  ;)

* Healthy lifestyle.  I hope, plan, intend to be more healthy this year--eating better, exercising more consistently, etc.  I may sign up for one race this year, I will definitely do a lot of hiking, but mostly I just want to work on being healthy--more water, less sugar and hopefully less weight.  ;)

* Side projects.  I don't know if saying these things out loud/writing them down officially will help them happen (making me more accountable) or jinx me, but I'd like to maybe create a blog or instagram page that's focused on sharing a reason for my hope (about the Savior and his gospel) each day (or so).  I'd also like to gather enough of my studying thoughts into one about some gospel principle that could become a poem and/or hymn.  And several have mentioned they'd like to see some of my instagram photos turned into a book.  Maybe I'll try to get serious about that in someway.  We'll see. ;)

Things I'm Looking Forward To:

I realize that in the past some of my "goals" were really just "things I'm looking forward to."  They're important and make life fun and you do have to plan to make them happen, so here's that list:
* Australia / New Zealand in February
* California in March
* Washington in April and September
* North Dakota + a few other highlights along the way in May/June
* St. George a few times
* Lots of hiking, to include a special all-day favorite in Idaho or Washington ("over the hill party")
* More temples
* Maybe someplace exciting for Christmas?

"And I had faith."

I was touched by these verses I read tonight in Enos 1:15 -17.    Enos says, "I cried unto [God] continually, for he had said unto me: Whatsoever thing ye shall ask in faith, believing that ye shall receive in the name of Christ, ye shall receive it.  And I had faith, and I did cry unto God that he would preserve the records; and he covenanted with me that he would bring them forth unto the Lamanites in his own due time.  And I, Enos, knew it would be according to the covenant which he had made; wherefore my soul did rest."

Enos had already prayed to receive forgiveness of his own sins, he had prayed for his brethren, he prayed for all the Nephites, and even the Lamanites.  The Lord heard him and promised forgiveness and to bless his brethren.  The Lord was able to promise these blessings because of Enos' faith.  Through this process and conversation with the Lord, Enos developed "unshaken" faith.

Then, in the verses listed above, Enos asks for the records they're preparing to be preserved for future generations.  The Lord promised that Enos would receive anything he asked for in faith.  Enos says simply and directly, "I had faith."  I love that!  He believed and trusted the Lord and His promises.  He knew that because he was asking in faith the Lord would bless him according to the covenant He made.  And Enos' soul was able to rest - He knew the Lord would keep His promise and bless him to receive what he asked for in faith.

The Lord makes this same promise to each of us.  If we ask in faith we shall receive.  This promise is found throughout the scriptures (see Matthew 7, 3 Nephi 27, D&C 4, 6, 11, 12, 14, 88, to name a few).  Maybe the example of Enos and his "wrestle" and conversation with the Lord is not only a reminder of the importance of prayer and those conversations with the Lord, but the fact that those conversations also help us to recognize our faith.  Our relationship with the Lord makes our faith "unshaken" and our souls can rest because all things will be "according to the covenant he has made."

I also think it's interesting that Enos' specific prayer was one that others before him had prayed.  It was something God intended.  It was His will that future generations have these words.  It wasn't a selfish desire, it was the Lord's will.  I think that true and unshaken faith has something to do with understanding the Lord's will to some degree.  We can have unshaken faith because we know it's something He would want.  When our desires are in line with the Lord's will it's easier to have faith in His ability to send those blessings.

We may not be writing spiritual records that we know will be preserved for generations or walking across the plains in handcarts, but we still go forward every day with faith in every footstep!  I'm grateful for the reminder to recognize and declare my faith in Lord (simple and direct) as much for me as for anyone else.  I have faith.  I know where it comes from, how I can find more, and what it can do, really what He can do, because He promised.  And my souls rests, too.  ;)

Finding Love

This may be a slightly different post than you were expecting from the title, but hopefully just as interesting.  ;)

Last year I loved reading the Book of Mormon and studying about JOY!  I found much!

This year I've been reading the Book of Mormon and looking for love!  <3  There is a lot of love and I'm just over halfway through.  Last week I think I found the most concentrated section of love so far, mostly taught by the example of the Anti-Nephi-Lehies.

We see love demonstrated by the Lord who rescued the sons of Mosiah, then those same sons, Ammon and his brethren, go to teach the Lamanites out of love, King Lamoni and his father sense that love and accept it and allow an opportunity for their people to be converted.  Their conversion was so sincere and their love so great that they were willing to sacrifice their lives instead of fighting to protect themselves ever again.  What sweet examples of true love!

Here are a few quotes from Mosiah 28, then Alma 22-28:

"Now they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish; yea, even the very thoughts that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble."

"I will give up all that I possess, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy.... if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee."

"As many as believed, or as many as were brought to the knowledge of the truth...and were converted unto the Lord, never did fall away.... they became a righteous people; they did lay down the weapons of their rebellion, that they did not fight against God any more, neither against any of their brethren.... There was not one soul among all the people who had been converted unto the Lord that would take up arms against their brethren;

"The great God has had mercy on us.... if our brethren seek to destroy us, behold, we will hide away our swords, yea, even we will bury them deep in the earth, that they may be kept bright, as a testimony that we have never used them, at the last day; and if our brethren destroy us, behold, we shall go to our God and shall be saved.... rather than shed the blood of their brethren they would give up their own lives."

"Our dearly beloved brethren, who have so dearly beloved us.... my beloved brethren, we came into the wilderness not with the intent to destroy our brethren, but with the intent that perhaps we might save some few of their souls.... we have suffered all manner of afflictions, and all this, that perhaps we might be the means of saving some soul; and we supposed that our joy would be full if perhaps we could be the means of saving some.... Now behold, we can look forth and see the fruits of our labors...and we can witness of their sincerity, because of their love towards their brethren and also towards us.  For behold, they had rather sacrifice their lives than even to take the life of their enemy; and they have buried their weapons of war deep in the earth, because of their love towards their brethren."

"His bowels of mercy are over all the earth."

"They were moved with compassion"

"Let us go down and rely upon the mercies of our brethren.... we will give up the land of Jershon.... we will set our armies between the land Jershon and the land Nephi, that we may protect our brethren in the land Jershon."

Love changes us!  Love helps us see outside ourselves.  Love helps us see the greater picture.  We love because He first loved us!  We can learn to love because of Him and His love!

Relatedly, something else that has been inspiring to me lately about love... Christ's Atonement is Evidence of God's Love!  The truths in this article came to life for me just over a week ago when I was snowshoeing in the beautiful Utah mountains.  I was enjoying a peaceful afternoon by myself.  I passed a couple of other hikers, but mostly it was me and the trees and lots of untouched snow.  The world was white.  It was quiet.  It was wonderful!  I love nature.  I love the mountains.  I feel Heavenly Father's love there easily and quickly.  I had some time to sit and enjoy that place and time and peace.  While sitting and thinking and praying for a few minutes the words of a song came to mind:  Our Savior's Love

Our Savior's love Shines like the sun with perfect light,
As from above It breaks thru clouds of strife.
Lighting our way, It leads us back into his sight,
Where we may stay To share eternal life.

The Spirit, voice Of goodness, whispers to our hearts
A better choice Than evil's anguished cries.
Loud may the sound Of hope ring till all doubt departs,
And we are bound To him by loving ties.

Our Father, God Of all creation, hear us pray
In rev'rence, awed By thy Son's sacrifice.
Praises we sing. We love thy law; we will obey.
Our heav'nly King, In thee our hearts rejoice.

I felt awed by His creations, but was reminded that the greatest gift and evidence of His love is more than beautiful mountains and peaceful meadows.  It is His Son, Jesus Christ, and His Atonement.  Because of His perfect life and selfless sacrifice He can offer us the chance to repent, to change, to be better than we are.  That brings a lot of hope and purpose.  There is truly no greater gift or love!  I want to do a better job of utilizing that gift and power and love in my life.  "His arm is extended to all people who will repent and believe on his name" (Alma 19:36).  I was recently reminded of two great talks on the subject:

• A Mighty Change of Heart by President Ezra Taft Benson
• The Divine Gift of Repentance by Elder D. Todd Christofferson

And one final quote and reminder from President Thomas S. Monson, "Love is the very essence of the gospel, the noblest attribute of the human soul. Love is the remedy for ailing families, ill communities, and sick nations."  We can look for love, pray for love, share love, and be changed by love.  That's the plan and that's my goal!