2019 in Review

2019 was pretty great! I accomplished some goals, learned some things, grew a bit, had some fun, and also found new opportunities and direction along the way. Here are a few highlights....

Family / Relationships
I loved spending time with family this year and had quite a few chances.  

• Although I missed the spontaneous family trip to Disneyland in April, I did get to spend a weekend in Carlsbad in March with Matt's family.  
• I made a weekend trip up to Washington at the end of April to see Josh and Kirsten and the Skagit Valley tulips.  
• Many of us gathered together in Utah at the beginning of May to celebrate Grandma Morgan who passed away at the end of April.  She was and is such a blessing in my life.  I learned so much from her and will always remember her happiness, kindness, and love for everyone.  I'm glad I had so many opportunities to spend meaningful time with her in the mountains and beyond.  I miss her, but am grateful for so many happy memories together.
• The same weekend in May we celebrated Mason's baptism.  
• Cari and I (and usually Mason or any of the rest of her family that was willing) spent time hiking together in all the seasons.  Josh and Kirsten stopped by for a few days too and we went to Lake Blanche mostly together (when I could keep up).  Dad is always a willing and encouraging hiking companion when he's in town.
• Matt and Josh surprised me for my birthday and came to hike the Tetons with me and Cari and Mom and Dad.  It was a really sweet weekend.  
• I made another trip to Washington in September for Noah's baptism and Harry's blessing.  It was fun to meet the newest nephew (who is darling!!!) and spend time together in Washington (it's a great place to have two brothers). ;)  
• We all got to be together in St. George and Lehi for Thanksgiving this year.  It was really nice to all be together for a few days.  

I tried to spend a little more one-on-one time with the nieces and nephews this year.  Kayla and I went to In-N-Out to celebrate her elementary school graduation!  Kai and I had fun learning quite a few spelling words together.  Mason and I enjoyed hiking together to Lake Desolation (8 miles... he's a good little hiker!).  Hailey and I have fun doing whatever Hailey's doing.  ;)  She always makes me smile.  Noah inspired me with his football knowledge and catching.  Henri and I wrote notes together at Thanksgiving and he was my best helper with the Thanksgiving puzzle.  Charlie (or Captain America, that day) and I hiked up Rattlesnake Ridge (it was kind of a highlight to see how he'd make everyone smile).  Harry is the sweetest thing--love him!  I need to spend more time with him and am grateful for Marco Polo. ;)

I enjoyed catching up with old friends and roommates who came to town, traveling or hiking or celebrating Chinese new year with other friends, and building meaningful relationships with friends in my neighborhood that I met with regularly to study the scriptures and the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I've learned and grown much at work this year and am grateful for dear friends and mentors and leaders there.  I celebrated weddings and new babies with some friends and mourned with another who lost her father suddenly.  I was grateful to be able to get together with our "Loto Taha family" in December.  Relationships truly are such a blessing and purpose of life!

Traveling 

2019 was a good year for travel!  Here are some of the adventures...

• Australia / New Zealand - This year's travel highlight was Australia and New Zealand in February. It was WONDERFUL! My friend Kat and I visited Sydney where we walked across the harbor bridge and around the harbor, including the Opera House. We took a ferry to Manly and walked around the beaches there, too. We went to church at a Tongan ward and then flew to Queenstown, New Zealand (South Island). We stayed in a great little airbnb and explored the city for a couple of days. Then we spent a couple of nights in Te Auna where we did part of the Kepler Track, and the Routeburn Track, and cruised the Milford Sound. We saw lots of sheep, waterfalls, and gorgeous landscapes. Then we flew to Melbourne where we did a temple session and drove the Great Ocean Road. We stayed in Lorne near the beginning of the road for two nights. The Twelve Apostles were quite impressive. It was a fantastic trip! I'd love to spend a lot more time in New Zealand some day.
• Carlsbad, California - I spent a nice weekend in Carlsbad while Matt's family was living there in March. It was lovely! We could walk to the beach from their house. We spent time in the tide pools, seeing the La Jolla sea lions, and walking around Torrey Pines.
• Kirkland and Snoqualmie, Washington - I made it to Washington twice this year, once at the end of April to visit Josh and Kirsten and see the tulips in Skagit Valley (BEAUTIFUL! Highlight! Must see!); and once in September for Noah's baptism and Harry's baby blessing (wonderful!).
• NORTH DAKOTA - I made it to my fiftieth state, North Dakota, over Memorial Day. It was actually very nice. My friend Melanie and I flew to Bismarck, did a temple session, looked around the state capital, and then drove to Dickinson. We walked around a little bit of Theodore Roosevelt National Park and then went on to visit Devil's Tower. We attended church in Casper, Wyoming before stopping along the pioneer trail sites on the drive home--Independence Rock, Martin's Cove, 6th Crossing of the Sweetwater, and Rock Creek Hollow. These were special places I was grateful to see!
• Driggs to Jenny Lake - I celebrate my fortieth birthday hiking 23 miles from Driggs to Jenny Lake with Dad, Cari, Matt, and Josh. One of my very favorite hikes and one of the most beautiful places in the world! I've now done it four times and hope to do it again sometime in my life. Mom was a patient driver and supporter. It was a really fun day (expect for the last three miles of blisters). It was nice to spend a long weekend with my parents and siblings. I'm grateful for their support and encouragement throughout life.
• St. George - I made it to St. George twice this year, for Thanksgiving (with the whole family) and for Christmas (with Mom and Dad). It's a great place to get away to when there's time.

Reading
This year I read the Book of Mormon and the New Testament. This has been my most important reading and study this year. I've loved learning about the Savior! It has changed me. I feel like I know Him better. I want to continue to learn and focus on Him. I know He lives and loves us. I've had the chance to study with family and friends throughout the year which has helped me learn and apply even more.  

In addition to this study, I read 102 books. Here are some of my favorites (in no particular order):

• A Republic, If You Can Keep It by Neil Gorsuch
• Free to Believe: The Battle Over Religious Freedom in America by Luke Goodrich
• Witness for His Names by Jeffrey R. Holland
• His Holy Name by Dallin H. Oaks
• The Priesthood Power of Women by Barbara Morgan Gardner
• L. Tom Perry: An Uncommon Life, Vol. 2 by Lee Tom Perry
• The Second Mountain by David Brooks
• Candle in the Darkness by Lynn Austin
• From Heart to Heart by Russell M. Nelson
• The Day the World Came to Town: 9/11 in Gander, Newfoundland by Jim DeFede
• This is Where You Belong by Melody Warnick
• The Divine Center by Steven R. Covey
• Listening is An Act of Love by Dave Isay
• The Mortal Messiah, Book 4 by Bruce R, McConkie
• Crossings by Melissa Inouye
• The Remarkable Journey of Coyote Sunrise by Dan Gemeinhart
• Insights from a Prophet's Life: Russell M. Nelson by Sheri Dew
• Follow Me to Zion: Stories from the Willie Handcart Pioneers by Andrew D. Olsen
• Love Your Enemies by Arthur C. Brooks
• Daughter of Moloka'i by Alan Brennert
• The Prosperity Paradox by Clayton M. Christensen
• Learning in the Light of Faith by Henry B. Eyring
• Grace Works by Robert Millet
• Where We Belong by Lynn Austin
• Keepers of the Covenant by Lynn Austin
• Blessed by Lloyd D. Newell
• Faith is Not Blind by Bruce C. Hafen
• An Early Resurrection by Adam S. Miller
• First Principles and Ordinances by Samuel Morris Brown
• The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker
• What a Friend We Have in Jesus by Chieko Okazaki
• A Fall of Marigolds by Susan Meissner
• Handcarts to Zion by Leroy R. Hafen
• Silent Souls Weeping by Jane Clayson Johnson
• Soulful Simplicity by Courtney Carver
• Wishtree by Kathrine Applegate

Service / Learning / Other Exploring

• Temples - This year I attended three new temples - Melbourne Australia, Bismarck North Dakota, and Las Vegas Nevada. I'm grateful for the blessings of the temple in my life!
• Service - I was a hostess again at the Festival of Trees in December. I found a few causes to support for Christmas and want to be more involved in the community in 2020.
• Church - I have loved teaching Sunday School this year and learning about the Savior's life and teachings in the New Testament. One of the greatest blessings of my life this year has been a consistent Come, Follow Me study group.
• Fitness and Nature - I was a little more social with my fitness goals this year. For about six months of the year I was pretty consistent working out at my gym before work with a friend. I also found friends and family to take hiking quite a bit this year which was nice. I made it to Desolation Lake, the Snowbird Tram, Albion Basin, Lake Blanche, Willow Heights Lake, Driggs to Jenny Lake via Alaska Basin and Cascade Canyon, and lots of the Draper trails.

I'm grateful for another year. Life is great!

2018 Goals

In reflecting back on 2017 and thinking about some goals I've been trying to work on for a while, this year I want to simplify and focus on relationships!  Jesus taught that the most important commandment is to "love the Lord...with all [our] heart,... soul, and... mind" and then to "love [our] neighbour."  I know this and say it a lot, but this year I want to live it and prioritize it better.

I've been thinking about this the last few days and then when I heard of President Monson's passing early this morning, one of the first quotes I saw someone remember him by was from a 2008 talk where he said, "Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved."  He talked so much about love and lifting others, "Every day of our lives we are given opportunities to show love and kindness to those around us.... Love is expressed in many recognizable ways: a smile, a wave, a kind comment, a compliment. Other expressions may be more subtle, such as showing interest in another’s activities, teaching a principle with kindness and patience, visiting one who is ill or homebound. These words and actions and many others can communicate love. May we begin now, this very day, to express love to all of God’s children, whether they be our family members, our friends, mere acquaintances, or total strangers. As we arise each morning, let us determine to respond with love and kindness to whatever might come our way."  And even more than he talked about it, President Monson lived it, and blessed so many individually and all of us by his example.

I want this to be my focus this year - people, relationships, love, kindness, and the Spirit that will help to direct and lead to the best ways to serve and the people that need to be noticed.  It's easy to get caught up in schedules, do-to lists, goals, checklists (even if they have some good things on them), but I think for me some of these have become a distraction from what's most important.

When I say I want to focus on relationships, here are a few specific ways:

• Heavenly Father - Most importantly, I want to strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  I'm a pretty consistent pray-er in my heart.  I feel like many and most of my thoughts are drawn out to and directed towards Him - expressing gratitude here and there, asking for help and guidance, thinking about His tender mercies - but I know that I need to be more focused in more formal and faith-filled prayers and will make this my highest priority this year.

• Jesus Christ - Knowing the Savior better is related and important.  He is my Advocate with the Father and the perfect example for what I need to become to make it home to Heavenly Father.  I loved and learned a lot last year studying the Book of Mormon specifically looking for the Savior - his words, his names, his mission, and his character.  I hope to continue this study in the Old Testament and other scriptures this year. 

• Holy Ghost - We learn truth and are guided and comforted by the Holy Ghost.  I would like more of that in my life and hope to be more attuned to His direction and ready to act.

• Me - One part of my focus on relationships this year is about me, I hope not selfishly, but I'd like to better know and love myself, be true to myself, worry less about others' expectations, and give myself permission to be me. :)  I want to learn and work on cultivating some talents - music, photography, writing, reading, language, hiking, running, cooking - and of course include some travel time (maybe Australia/New Zealand, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Florida?). 

• Family - I want to be more thoughtful about meaningful time with my family members this year - grandmothers, parents, siblings (and their spouses), niece/nephews, and extended family.

• Friends - Friends add much to the joy of life and I'd like to deepen relationships this year.

• Strangers - I hope to always be aware of those around me and find ways to lift and help.  I hope to find ways to consistently serve.

I realize, even in thinking about and articulating these goals, that relationships are work.  It takes being proactive and selfless, vulnerable and open, thinking more about someone else, listening, giving, being thoughtful, but I know relationships are rewarding and the reason we're here - there are people to love!  I want to do better.  <3

Happy New Year!

Easter Thoughts

I love Easter and the hope and peace its message brings!

Joseph Smith taught, "The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it."

We learn from the Bible Dictionary, "One of the most fundamental doctrines taught by the Twelve was that Jesus was risen from the tomb, with His glorified, resurrected body, as in Acts 1:21–22; 2:32; 3:15; 4:33. To obtain a resurrection with a celestial, exalted body is the center point of hope in the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Resurrection of Jesus is the most glorious of all messages to mankind."

I love this and believe it!  This year I have had a few thoughts about Easter that have brought more peace and direction:

First and foremost, I love the Lord, our Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that He lives. Because He conquered death and sin He brings hope now and forever! We will be resurrected.  We will live again.  We can change. We can become like Him. That's why we're here on this earth. To learn of Him and walk in His ways. We need His help all along the way. He is there. We can walk with Him. I'm grateful for our Heavenly Father's love in sending Jesus to earth to live for us!

I had a thought about Mary Magdalene recently. Each of the gospel writers record the events of the Resurrection slightly differently, but we know that Mary was the first to see Him. What a special privilege. I started wondering what made that possible. Maybe He would have come to her first wherever she was, but I tend to think that she did some things that made her ready. She had come to the tomb with others and when they saw that it was empty the others left, but she stayed. Maybe she stayed because she was sad, maybe she wanted time alone to process and mourn, maybe she wanted to be close to Him or where he last was? Maybe? Maybe she felt like she should stay for some other reason? I don't know why she stayed, but I believe she was where she was supposed to be. She truly loved the Lord, that's all she could think about, she wanted to be with Him and so she was there when He came.  She was where she was supposed to be. And He came to her. Where should we be? Do we seek Him above everything else? Are we willing to wait? Are we open and vulnerable enough to express our love to Him? I was touched by a beautiful sign in the Mesa Arizona Temple that I visited for this first time this weekend. It was a simple, but powerful scripture from the Sermon on the Mount, "Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God." I believe that's what the pure in heart would desire and work for and prepare for and focus on - above all else wanting to be with Him. 

I love the temples and feel like they are one of the greatest symbols of our Heavenly Father's love and  our Savior's triumph over the tomb. We visit temples to make covenants with God and to do work for our ancestors who died without the chance to make their own covenants.  In 1918, President Joseph Fielding Smith received a beautiful vision and understanding of the Spirit World (recorded in D&C 138) and how, during the time between His death and resurrection, the Savior organized His faithful followers in the Spirit World to preach the gospel and that leaves a lot of temple work for us to do.  This weekend I had the chance to spend a lot of time in the temple and I'm grateful for the peace and purpose and hope and direction I find there personally and for the promised blessings to each of our Heavenly Father's children offered there.  

"He is risen. Tell is out with joyful voice."  

"He lives, my one sure rock of faith, The one bright hope of men on earth"  

"What praises can we offer To thank thee, Lord most high?"  

"I believe in Christ; he is my King! With all my heart to him I'll sing;"

"He lives! All glory to His name!"  

"Love's redeeming work is done, Alleluia!"  

Good Men

I had the chance to be an eavesdropper a bit recently.  I was walking behind a group of men at lunch and happened to hear part of their conversation.  It seemed clear that they desired good things, in relationships and otherwise.  I heard a very similar conversation a couple of men were having on Trax on my way home.  They were recognizing good in people, women in particular, and seemed to have desires to build good relationships.  I work in Salt Lake.  There are troubles and problems here and everywhere, but there are definitely worse places and circumstances.  Basically, I was inspired and grateful to think that there are good men in the world!

Not a day or two later I was at the temple and felt more strongly than I have in a long time that men need women and women need men.  We need a good partner, companion, help meet who is not the same as us; who can help us see things a little bit differently; who can encourage and teach and support and lift and inspire us; who we can encourage and teach and support and lift and inspire.... and love!

I'm grateful for the plan!!

Prayer

I have been thinking a lot lately about prayer and fasting.  I'm grateful for its power and the reminder today by our bishop to learn to pray effectively and fervently.  He told us to:

• Live righteously and don't block the connection to the Spirit in our lives with distractions.
• Pray morning, noon, and night.  Plan, make it a priority, have it be a continuous conversation.
• Pray simply and with gratitude and testimony.
• Ponder carefully what to pray for, prepare ahead of time, organize your thoughts, seek His will.  President Eyring taught: "I have had prayers answered. Those answers were most clear when what I wanted was silenced by an overpowering need to know what God wanted. It is then that the answer from a loving Heavenly Father can be spoken to the mind by the still, small voice and can be written on the heart."
• Pray boldly, out loud, fervently, wrestle, cry unto Him, ASK!  If we want specific answers we need to prepare and ask specific questions.
• Answers come in different ways - sometimes immediately as we ask, sometimes as we fast and pray for a long time, and sometimes the answer is no.  Sometimes the Lord expects us to make our own decision.  We should use the scriptures and our agency.
• Prayer brings us to our Heavenly Father.  What a wonderful blessing to be able to speak to Him!

Here are a few other talks I've enjoyed about prayer:

• Priesthood and Personal Prayer - Henry B. Eyring, April 2015
• Make the Exercise of Faith Your First Priority - Richard G. Scott, October 2014
• Where Is Thy Pavilion? - Henry B. Eyring, October 2012
• The Spirit of Revelation - David A. Bednar, April 2011
• Prayer and Promptings - Boyd K. Packer, October 2009 
• To Acquire Spiritual Guidance - Richard G. Scott, October 2009
• Lessons from the Lord’s Prayers - Russell M. Nelson, April 2009
• Pray Always - David A. Bednar, October 2008
• Ask in Faith - David A. Bednar, April 2008
• Personal Revelation:The Teachings and Examples of the Prophets - Robert D. Hales, October 2007
• Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer - Richard G. Scott, April 2007
• Sweet Power of Prayer - Russell M. Nelson, April 2003
• The Lifeline of Prayer - James E. Faust, April 2002
• Prayer - Henry B. Eyring, October 2001
• “Write Upon My Heart” - Henry B. Eyring, October 2000
• “Look to God and Live” - Jeffrey R. Holland, October 1993
• The Language of Prayer - Dallin H. Oaks, April 1993
• The Power of Prayer - Thomas S. Monson, April 1991
• Learning to Recognize Answers to Prayers - Richard G. Scott, October 1989
• Patterns of Prayer - Bruce R. McConkie, April 1984
• "Our Father Which Art in Heaven" - L. Tom Perry, October 1983
• The Power of Family Prayer - John H. Groberg, April 1982
• Prayers and Answers - Boyd K. Packer, October 1979
• “We Need a Listening Ear” - Spencer W. Kimball, October 1979
• The Prayer of Faith - Thomas S. Monson, April 1978
• “Hallowed Be Thy Name” - Howard W. Hunter, October 1977
• Prayer - Ezra Taft Benson, April 1977
• The Importance of Prayer - N. Eldon Tanner, April 1974
• The Importance of Prayer - Franklin D. Richards, April 1972

Never Can I Repay Thee, Lord

I love the song "Savior Redeemer of My Soul" - each version that I've heard, and I heard a beautiful version today that really inspired me.  The lyrics by Orson F. Whitney are powerful and have helped me to better know my Savior, Jesus Christ and the reach of His Atonement and love.

Savior, Redeemer of my soul,
Whose mighty hand hath made me whole,
Whose wondrous pow'r hath raised me up
And filled with sweet my bitter cup!
What tongue my gratitude can tell,
O gracious God of Israel.

Never can I repay thee, Lord,
But I can love thee. Thy pure word,
Hath it not been my one delight,
My joy by day, my dream by night?
Then let my lips proclaim it still,
And all my life reflect thy will.

O'errule mine acts to serve thine ends.
Change frowning foes to smiling friends.
Chasten my soul till I shall be
In perfect harmony with thee.
Make me more worthy of thy love,
And fit me for the life above.

Through Him we can change.  He can make us whole.  We can repent.  We can improve and be more than we are....with His help.  Today I was particularly touched by the phrase, "Never can I repay thee, Lord.....But I can love thee."  :) !!!!  That was profound to me.  I think it struck me because I have felt very blessed lately as a recipient of others' kindness.  Sometimes I have a hard time being indebted to someone.  I think a part of my wanting to "be invisible" is not wanting to be a burden on anyone, wanting to be independent and self sufficient, so that no one has to worry about me.  But I realize that's not possible, not realistic, and prideful.  We can't do it on our own.  We need help.  We need His help, and others' too....and truly "never can I repay thee, Lord."   

Those words helped me realize that I can't repay Him, often I can't repay others....I need to let that go.  He knows that we can't repay Him; He just asks us to love Him, to serve Him, to keep His commandments.  We can do that.  We can love.  We need to love.  That's what we do - we love.  We will not be perfect and will be further in His debt, but we can return to Him and when our one desire is to love Him I believe that He accepts our love and further blesses us (just like King Benjamin talks about in Mosiah 2:23-24).  True love is powerful - His love for us, our love for Him, our love for others....that's what changes us.  <3

Que Sera Sera

One of the highlights of my day today - listening to this joyful oldie, but goodie with my Dad and Grandma.  ;)  

Que Sera Sera

When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, What will I be
Will I be pretty, Will I be rich, Here's what she said to me
Que sera, sera, Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera, What will be, will be 

When I grew up and fell in love I asked my sweetheart, What lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, Day after day, Here's what my sweetheart said
Que sera, sera, Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera, What will be, will be 

Now I have Children of my own They ask their mother, What will I be
Will I be handsome, Will I be rich, I tell them tenderly
Que sera, sera, Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera, What will be, will be
Que Sera, Sera

I've spent some time this past week wishing for earlier days (for a few different reasons), but particularly in thinking about my Grandma.  We have enjoyed many neat adventures together over the last 35+ years.  Sweet memories, but I'm reminded each time we talk - memories can disappear (at least for a time).  That can be hard, but even when they do I am uplifted by the happy, kind, loving example of my sweet Grandma!  Even during the confusing and frustrating times she is happy and is a joy to those around her.  What a sweet example that I hope to do better at following!  :D  Worry less, be kind and happy more.  :D

Why am I here?

Even with all the joy and hope that I've found in the scriptures and life lately, there are still hard days and I wonder sometimes - Why am I here?  What am I doing?  Particularly lately I've felt like maybe I could and should be doing something more somewhere else?  This is mostly in regards to my ward and Church service, but a few others things might fall into the category.

That's why I was SOOOO grateful for a very sweet testimony today that helped me understand my place now a little bit better.  ;)  A guy in our ward talked about serving his mission in Tonga.  He served for a time on a very small island where he knew everyone's name and no one was interested in listening.  He loved being a missionary, but wondered if his time might not be better spent somewhere else.  Why had the Lord sent him there?  Surely there were other places he could be making more of a difference.  As he thought and prayed and worried about this he received an answer from the Lord who said, "I brought you to this island, without other distractions, so that I could spend time with you!"  :D  How sweet is that!?  ;)

I believe that wherever we are the Lord truly does want to spend time with us, but the bigger issue (and as this brother pointed out since returning from his mission) is us making time for Him!  I think this is always important, but there may be certain times in our life when we either need a little more time with the Lord or He is specifically inviting us to not worry about a lot of others things and just spend time with Him!  I feel like I've had a lot of time on my hands lately - some I've used well, some less well, but my great desire truly is to spend this time with Him (whether that be in the scriptures, in prayer, in the temple, in service, in His beautiful creations, with His other children...)!  I know this brings the greatest happiness and direction and purpose and I'm very grateful for the reminder....that that's why I'm here.  ;)

Hope

I shared some similar thoughts (more eloquently) a year ago, but tonight I was again filled with HOPE while listening to the same music about the Savior and His life and love.  Hope did not die when He was killed, but that's where it was ultimately and eternally given to each of us.  

I have always loved the LDS Bible Dictionary's explanation of Resurrection, particularly this ending:
"To obtain a resurrection with a celestial, exalted body is the center point of hope in the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Resurrection of Jesus is the most glorious of all messages to mankind."  I was reminded of these words while listening to the cymbals crash with great joy!....and listening to the words of John 11:25-26 in the beautiful song, I Am the Resurrection:

I am the Resurrection and the Life.He that believeth in me, though he were dead,Yet shall he live.And whosever liveth and believeth in me shall never die!

These words particularly touched me and helped me realize that if we believe in Him and rely on Him and trust in Him we truly will NEVER die spiritually ever!!  He is hope.  He is life!!

But for those moments when we wonder how it's going to work out, Thomas sings.....

Sometime We'll Understand

Not now, but in coming years,
It may not be when we demand
We'll read the meaning of our tears,
And there, sometime, we'll understand

Why what we long for most of all
Eludes our open pleading hand
Why ever silence meets our call,
Somewhere, sometime, we'll understand
So trust in God through all thy days
Fear not, for he doth hold thy hand;
Though dark thy way, still sing and praise,
Sometime, sometime we'll understand.

Sometime, we'll fall on bended knee
And feel there, graven on his hand
Sometime with tear-less eyes we'll see
What here, we could not understand
So trust in God through all the days;
Fear not, for he doth hold thy hand;
Though dark thy way, still sing and praise,
Sometime, sometime we'll understand

Joy

Today I'm grateful for a meaningful FHE discussion about JOY:

• What has brought you an increase of joy this last week? (I think this is a great question to consider every week!)  :D
• Is there a hymn or scripture that has brought you an increase of joy?

I'm grateful for the joy I found in the week....

• spending time with family in fun (biking) and work (cleaning the garage)
• managing my priorities and tasks and expectations list better this week - not getting so caught up in all that I wanted to do that I wasn't happy with what I was able to accomplish
• visiting temples
• studying the scriptures....the scriptures were full of JOY this week!
• reading....lots of good things, but particularly this GREAT book and quote about JOY:

That We Might Have Joy by President Howard W. Hunter:
"And what of the meek? In a world too preoccupied with winning through intimidation and seeking to be number one, no large crowd is standing in line to buy books that call for mere meekness. But the meek shall inherit the earth, a pretty impressive corporate takeover--and done without intimidation! Sooner or later, and we pray sooner than later, everyone will acknowledge that Christ's way is not only the right way, but ultimately the only way to hope and joy. Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that gentleness is better than brutality, that kindness is greater than coercion, that the soft voice turneth away wrath. In the end, and sooner than that whenever possible we must be more like him. 'To those who fall, how kind thou! How good to those who seek (p. 9)!'"

• listening to music....it struck me at Church yesterday that Christ lives to bless us....everything listed in this song is something completely wonderful and selfless that He blesses us with (I can't think of anything more that we could need or want)....he wants us to be happy....and He is the one that brings joy!!...I also believe it is a pattern for us to learn from....we can have joy when we love and give and bless others as selflessly....  :D

I Know That My Redeemer Lives 
I know that my Redeemer lives. What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, he lives, who once was dead. He lives, my ever-living Head.
He lives to bless me with his love. He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed. He lives to bless in time of need.
He lives to grant me rich supply. He lives to guide me with his eye.
He lives to comfort me when faint. He lives to hear my soul's complaint.
He lives to silence all my fears. He lives to wipe away my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled heart. He lives all blessings to impart.
He lives, my kind, wise heav'nly Friend. He lives and loves me to the end.
He lives, and while he lives, I'll sing. He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.
He lives and grants me daily breath. He lives, and I shall conquer death.
He lives my mansion to prepare. He lives to bring me safely there.
He lives! All glory to his name! He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: "I know that my Redeemer lives!"
He lives! All glory to his name! He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: "I know that my Redeemer lives!"

One last serendipitous note....as I'm typing up this post about JOY, what should come on Mormon Music Channel 24/7, but this delightful gem by Janice Kapp Perry:

Surround Yourself with Joy
Life holds much of sorrow, that we cannot avoid.
So when you have the chance, when you have the choice,
Surround yourself with joy.
Surround yourself with children, so innocent and sweet
For life can seem so simple if you can make believe.
Surround yourself with music, and you'll find solace there,
For when your heart is tender, your song becomes a prayer.

Surround yourself with friendship, when you feel all alone.
For in the love of others the sweetest joys are known.
Surround yourself with beauty, enjoy God's handiwork.
In sights and sounds of nature, the voice of God is heard.

Surround yourself with silence, for when you are alone
the whisperings of the spirit are quietly made known.
Surround yourself with heaven, in every waking thought,
For there is peace and safety, within the love of God.
Life holds much of sorrow, that we cannot avoid,
So when you have the chance, when you have the choice,
Surround yourself with Joy.

So, what are you doing today to surround yourself with JOY and increase joy in your life?  :)

Rejoice in Christ!

With lots of crazy things going on in the world and with the simple distractions of life, I am grateful today more than ever for the reminder in Sunday School to REJOICE in Christ!!

I love Nephi's explanation as to why he shares so many of the words of Isaiah....2 Nephi 11:
"Behold, my soul delighteth in proving unto my people the truth of the coming of Christ; for, for this end hath the law of Moses been given; and all things which have been given of God from the beginning of the world, unto man, are the typifying of him.
"And also my soul delighteth in the covenants of the Lord which he hath made to our fathers; yea, my soul delighteth in his grace, and in his justice, and power, and mercy in the great and eternal plan of deliverance from death.
"And my soul delighteth in proving unto my people that save Christ should come all men must perish.
"For if there be no Christ there be no God; and if there be no God we are not, for there could have been no creation. But there is a God, and he is Christ, and he cometh in the fulness of his own time.
"And now I write some of the words of Isaiah, that whoso of my people shall see these words may lift up their hearts and rejoice for all men. Now these are the words, and ye may liken them unto you and unto all men."

.....after many wonderful insights and Messianic prophecies of Isaiah (that I need to study and understand better) we come back to Nephi and his plainness and clarity and this verse:
2 Nephi 25:26, "And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins."

I am grateful for Jesus Christ and the hope and peace and meaning that His life brings to my life!

On a related note, one very important way we come to know and rejoice in Christ is through the scriptures (as Nephi taught by example).  I was inspired by a discussion about improving scripture study today:

President Packer taught, "Make scripture reading a part of your regular routine, and the blessings will follow. There is in the scriptures a voice of warning, but there is also great nourishment." How have the scriptures nourished you?

President Benson said, “I am convinced that each of us, at least some time in our lives, must discover the scriptures for ourselves—and not just discover them once, but rediscover them again and again." How do you rediscover the scriptures?

Ten ways to improve our scripture study:

1. Look for Jesus Christ.
2. Look for inspiring words and phrases.
3. Look for gospel truths.
4. Listen to the Spirit.
5. Liken scriptures to ourselves.
6. Ask questions as you study.
7. Use scripture study helps.
8. Record your thoughts and feelings.
9. Study words of the latter-day prophets.
10. Share your insights.

President Monson taught, "As we read and ponder the scriptures, we will experience the sweet whisperings of the Spirit to our souls. We can find answers to our questions. We learn of the blessings which come through keeping God’s commandments. We gain a sure testimony of our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ, and of Their love for us."

To Be Known

I have been thinking a lot lately about the importance of being known! I have a lot of thoughts about this and still much to learn and understand, but this is my attempt at trying to organize some current thoughts somehow. ;)

The last few months have been a bit of a transition for me....from some things that were set and comfortable and known to much that is new and starting over. I haven't changed everything, so there are still some things that are known, but I have new neighbors, a new ward, a new commute, a new routine, and hopefully new friends. ;) I enjoy new and change and chances to grow and learn, so I'm grateful for this opportunity, but that doesn't make it easy (especially at the beginning).

I have come to understand that probably the hardest, but most exciting part of change is starting over and not being known - having to prove yourself again. It's an opportunity to decide who you want to be and change some things pretty easily since people don't know the old you, but because they don't know the old you, you have to tell them or show them (or sometimes even remind yourself) who that is. That can be hard.

Starting over the number of times that I have is exciting, but exhausting and overwhelming!  Maybe part of what makes it overwhelming is trying to live up to some kind of expectation that I set for the new.  When seeking change, I'm hoping the new is better than the old, so when I feel like I'm moving backwards at all that can be frustrating. Part of the "backward" can be just getting back to the place I was before - comfortable, known. :) Building reputation, trust, and getting to know people can be exhausting!

One thing I appreciate very much in such a transition is someone who is genuinely interested in wanting to know who I am...not just my name and my job title and where I'm from, but about what really makes me who I am and who I hope to be. Some people are so good at this and they are such a blessing!  I realize even more the importance of being that kind of person myself - getting past the superficial and wanting to learn and really "know" someone....being open, being vulnerable, being there.

There's really no place like home - where you're known. ;) It's a blessing to have people in your life that KNOW you, really know you!  You don't have to explain, they know your background, where you've been, where you hope to go, how you think you might want to get there, and everything in between.  These people are also good at letting you grow and change and become better.

What I'm thinking about doesn't have anything to do with fame or showiness or pride. To me, "being known" is a very quiet, personal thing. I see it very related to the invitation in John 17:3, "And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent."  This is something we do on our own quietly.  

While it's a quiet and personal relationship, it's also very important to spend the time!  In Matthew 7:21-23 the Savior says, "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven....And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity." There is also Matthew 25:12 where Jesus tells the five foolish virgins, "I know you not" when they come late "saying, Lord, Lord open to us."  The Joseph Smith Translation corrects each of these slightly to "Ye never knew me" and "Ye know me not."  So, I guess what I'm saying is, the ball is in our court - to be known we must know someone else - spend the time, make the effort, love, care, sacrifice.  As we focus on relationships I believe we will be blessed and happy!

I recently read a neat book by Robert L. Millet - Coming to Know Christ.  It touches on some of these same topics and is where some of these thoughts originated.  As much as I would like to be understood and loved, I realize that it is in loving that we are loved and find love....and in knowing that we are known.  ;)  I think that part of this is having the confidence to be yourself (even in new situations) and assume that others want to know you.  ;)

A couple of other interesting thoughts on this subject:

• Mosiah 26:24
• "It Is Not Good That...Man Should Be Alone" - talk by President Kevin J. Worthen

...and I think this is the perfect spot to start the 14-day challenge - #LoveOneAnother! <3

2015 in Review

Looking back on 2015 it's kind of remarkable all that has happened!  In no particular order here are some of my adventures, highlights, and take-aways:

• I worked as an ordinance worker at the Salt Lake Temple.  Highlight!  Although I do appreciate a Saturday morning sleep-in or run or free weekend all the more now.  ;)
• I attended two new temples - Payson and Seattle.  Wonderful!
• I sang in three different choirs - ward choir, the Witness Music presentation of Rob Gardner's Lamb of God during Easter (really neat!!), and I was a part of the Salt Lake Temple Workers' Choir for the yearly devotional (incredible experience!)
• I bought a house!  Kind of exciting, kind of terrifying, very educational.
• I ran a marathon (my version of the Ogden Marathon which was more accurately two half marathons with a little drive in between) and two official half marathons (Big Cottonwood and Snow Canyon).
• I read a lot of books!  Some of my favorites:  Press On by Joseph B. Wirthlin; Return unto Me by Kerry Muhlestein; The Conservative Heart by Arthur Brooks; Essentialism by Greg McKeown; Gifts from the Sea by Anne Lindbergh; Truths Most Worth Knowing by Boyd K. Packer; Wonder by R. J. Palacio; Ezra Taft Benson: A Biography by Sheri Dew; The Wright Brothers by David McCullough; Power to Become by David A. Bednar; Teaching Your Children Joy by Linda and Richard Eyre; Belonging to Heaven by Gale Sears
• I spent time with family!  Always a highlight!!!  We enjoyed a wonderful week together in Las Vegas at the pool and remembering to 'stay by the tree.'  I spent several Sunday evenings and Thanksgiving with extended family.  I visited St. George a few times and spent lots of quality time with my parents - they're pretty great!  I got to be hostess for a few family gatherings (thanks for coming, Josh and Kirsten!) and visited my sister's house more (she and her family really know how to be host(esse)s).  I loved being in Seattle for an extended Christmas weekend - highlight!  Washington is beautiful and meeting a new nephew is the sweetest and getting on an airplane at least once a year is a must!  Thanks, Matt and Megan!  :)
• I deepened relationships.  I learned a lot about who I am, what I'm looking for, having confidence, and getting to know and be inspired by good people in large and small ways.  Relatedly, I learned again the importance of being happy, being grateful, being open, being vulnerable.  I'm grateful for friends, friendships, relationships, and opportunities to give and grow.  Much more to learn!  ;)  
• I enjoyed opportunities to share and teach the gospel.  I watched three new members join the Church and saw part of their conversion as I had the chance to teach Gospel Principles for much of the year.  HIGHLIGHT!!  I love the simple gospel truths, the plan of salvation, and the chance to testify of Jesus Christ!  What it's all about!!!
• I enjoyed lots of BEAUTIFUL wildflowers, fall leaves, and sunsets while consistently hiking and enjoying being outside and appreciating our Heavenly Father's creations!  One of the ways I see and feel God's love!
• I have a renewed testimony of the importance of and gratitude for prayer, scripture study, studying the gospel of Jesus Christ, learning the words of the Prophet and Apostles and following in faith.
• I have a greater appreciation for the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the hope and peace and joy and change it can bring!