Finding Love

This may be a slightly different post than you were expecting from the title, but hopefully just as interesting.  ;)

Last year I loved reading the Book of Mormon and studying about JOY!  I found much!

This year I've been reading the Book of Mormon and looking for love!  <3  There is a lot of love and I'm just over halfway through.  Last week I think I found the most concentrated section of love so far, mostly taught by the example of the Anti-Nephi-Lehies.

We see love demonstrated by the Lord who rescued the sons of Mosiah, then those same sons, Ammon and his brethren, go to teach the Lamanites out of love, King Lamoni and his father sense that love and accept it and allow an opportunity for their people to be converted.  Their conversion was so sincere and their love so great that they were willing to sacrifice their lives instead of fighting to protect themselves ever again.  What sweet examples of true love!

Here are a few quotes from Mosiah 28, then Alma 22-28:

"Now they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish; yea, even the very thoughts that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble."

"I will give up all that I possess, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy.... if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee."

"As many as believed, or as many as were brought to the knowledge of the truth...and were converted unto the Lord, never did fall away.... they became a righteous people; they did lay down the weapons of their rebellion, that they did not fight against God any more, neither against any of their brethren.... There was not one soul among all the people who had been converted unto the Lord that would take up arms against their brethren;

"The great God has had mercy on us.... if our brethren seek to destroy us, behold, we will hide away our swords, yea, even we will bury them deep in the earth, that they may be kept bright, as a testimony that we have never used them, at the last day; and if our brethren destroy us, behold, we shall go to our God and shall be saved.... rather than shed the blood of their brethren they would give up their own lives."

"Our dearly beloved brethren, who have so dearly beloved us.... my beloved brethren, we came into the wilderness not with the intent to destroy our brethren, but with the intent that perhaps we might save some few of their souls.... we have suffered all manner of afflictions, and all this, that perhaps we might be the means of saving some soul; and we supposed that our joy would be full if perhaps we could be the means of saving some.... Now behold, we can look forth and see the fruits of our labors...and we can witness of their sincerity, because of their love towards their brethren and also towards us.  For behold, they had rather sacrifice their lives than even to take the life of their enemy; and they have buried their weapons of war deep in the earth, because of their love towards their brethren."

"His bowels of mercy are over all the earth."

"They were moved with compassion"

"Let us go down and rely upon the mercies of our brethren.... we will give up the land of Jershon.... we will set our armies between the land Jershon and the land Nephi, that we may protect our brethren in the land Jershon."

Love changes us!  Love helps us see outside ourselves.  Love helps us see the greater picture.  We love because He first loved us!  We can learn to love because of Him and His love!

Relatedly, something else that has been inspiring to me lately about love... Christ's Atonement is Evidence of God's Love!  The truths in this article came to life for me just over a week ago when I was snowshoeing in the beautiful Utah mountains.  I was enjoying a peaceful afternoon by myself.  I passed a couple of other hikers, but mostly it was me and the trees and lots of untouched snow.  The world was white.  It was quiet.  It was wonderful!  I love nature.  I love the mountains.  I feel Heavenly Father's love there easily and quickly.  I had some time to sit and enjoy that place and time and peace.  While sitting and thinking and praying for a few minutes the words of a song came to mind:  Our Savior's Love

Our Savior's love Shines like the sun with perfect light,
As from above It breaks thru clouds of strife.
Lighting our way, It leads us back into his sight,
Where we may stay To share eternal life.

The Spirit, voice Of goodness, whispers to our hearts
A better choice Than evil's anguished cries.
Loud may the sound Of hope ring till all doubt departs,
And we are bound To him by loving ties.

Our Father, God Of all creation, hear us pray
In rev'rence, awed By thy Son's sacrifice.
Praises we sing. We love thy law; we will obey.
Our heav'nly King, In thee our hearts rejoice.

I felt awed by His creations, but was reminded that the greatest gift and evidence of His love is more than beautiful mountains and peaceful meadows.  It is His Son, Jesus Christ, and His Atonement.  Because of His perfect life and selfless sacrifice He can offer us the chance to repent, to change, to be better than we are.  That brings a lot of hope and purpose.  There is truly no greater gift or love!  I want to do a better job of utilizing that gift and power and love in my life.  "His arm is extended to all people who will repent and believe on his name" (Alma 19:36).  I was recently reminded of two great talks on the subject:

• A Mighty Change of Heart by President Ezra Taft Benson
• The Divine Gift of Repentance by Elder D. Todd Christofferson

And one final quote and reminder from President Thomas S. Monson, "Love is the very essence of the gospel, the noblest attribute of the human soul. Love is the remedy for ailing families, ill communities, and sick nations."  We can look for love, pray for love, share love, and be changed by love.  That's the plan and that's my goal!

I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus

I have listened to this beautiful medley at least 50 times today - I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus / Tell Me the Stories of Jesus sung by Rebecca Mohler.  BEAUTIFUL!!...and kind of what it's ALL ABOUT!  :)

On what I feel is a related note, these few verses in Jacob jumped out at me in a new and powerful way today, helping me see more clearly what His plan is for us, what He wants for us, and how we can be more like Jesus now:

Jacob 3:1-2: 
"But behold, I, Jacob, would speak unto you that are pure in heart.  Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith, and he will console you in your afflictions, and he will plead your cause, and send down justice upon those who seek your destruction.
"O all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his love; for ye may, if your minds are firm, forever."

To me this scripture is saying:
1. Most importantly, we must have pure hearts, intentions, desires!  Be genuine, real, want what He wants!
2. We need to look to God steadfastly, always, without doubt, focusing our attention and thoughts on Him.
3. We also need to pray with faith and lift up our heads and receive His words for us.

When we do these things we can and will be able to feast upon His love FOREVER.  He wants to bless us with His love, always, and this is how it will come and how we will enjoy it CONSTANTLY.  What an incredible blessing and what a clear path!  Even just the idea of this direction makes me happy.  What a loving Father who only wants the best for us, His children.

So, I think the next question for me is how can I purify my heart?  What do I need to do today to make my heart pure and my mind firm?

To Be Known

I have been thinking a lot lately about the importance of being known! I have a lot of thoughts about this and still much to learn and understand, but this is my attempt at trying to organize some current thoughts somehow. ;)

The last few months have been a bit of a transition for me....from some things that were set and comfortable and known to much that is new and starting over. I haven't changed everything, so there are still some things that are known, but I have new neighbors, a new ward, a new commute, a new routine, and hopefully new friends. ;) I enjoy new and change and chances to grow and learn, so I'm grateful for this opportunity, but that doesn't make it easy (especially at the beginning).

I have come to understand that probably the hardest, but most exciting part of change is starting over and not being known - having to prove yourself again. It's an opportunity to decide who you want to be and change some things pretty easily since people don't know the old you, but because they don't know the old you, you have to tell them or show them (or sometimes even remind yourself) who that is. That can be hard.

Starting over the number of times that I have is exciting, but exhausting and overwhelming!  Maybe part of what makes it overwhelming is trying to live up to some kind of expectation that I set for the new.  When seeking change, I'm hoping the new is better than the old, so when I feel like I'm moving backwards at all that can be frustrating. Part of the "backward" can be just getting back to the place I was before - comfortable, known. :) Building reputation, trust, and getting to know people can be exhausting!

One thing I appreciate very much in such a transition is someone who is genuinely interested in wanting to know who I am...not just my name and my job title and where I'm from, but about what really makes me who I am and who I hope to be. Some people are so good at this and they are such a blessing!  I realize even more the importance of being that kind of person myself - getting past the superficial and wanting to learn and really "know" someone....being open, being vulnerable, being there.

There's really no place like home - where you're known. ;) It's a blessing to have people in your life that KNOW you, really know you!  You don't have to explain, they know your background, where you've been, where you hope to go, how you think you might want to get there, and everything in between.  These people are also good at letting you grow and change and become better.

What I'm thinking about doesn't have anything to do with fame or showiness or pride. To me, "being known" is a very quiet, personal thing. I see it very related to the invitation in John 17:3, "And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent."  This is something we do on our own quietly.  

While it's a quiet and personal relationship, it's also very important to spend the time!  In Matthew 7:21-23 the Savior says, "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven....And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity." There is also Matthew 25:12 where Jesus tells the five foolish virgins, "I know you not" when they come late "saying, Lord, Lord open to us."  The Joseph Smith Translation corrects each of these slightly to "Ye never knew me" and "Ye know me not."  So, I guess what I'm saying is, the ball is in our court - to be known we must know someone else - spend the time, make the effort, love, care, sacrifice.  As we focus on relationships I believe we will be blessed and happy!

I recently read a neat book by Robert L. Millet - Coming to Know Christ.  It touches on some of these same topics and is where some of these thoughts originated.  As much as I would like to be understood and loved, I realize that it is in loving that we are loved and find love....and in knowing that we are known.  ;)  I think that part of this is having the confidence to be yourself (even in new situations) and assume that others want to know you.  ;)

A couple of other interesting thoughts on this subject:

• Mosiah 26:24
• "It Is Not Good That...Man Should Be Alone" - talk by President Kevin J. Worthen

...and I think this is the perfect spot to start the 14-day challenge - #LoveOneAnother! <3

Make Me Whole

It was a special day.  It was a special week.  I've had the opportunity the past couple of months and weeks to be a part of a choir performing "Lamb of God" by Rob Gardner - a beautiful presentation with orchestra, soloists, and narrators telling the story of Christ's life, particularly the last week of his life and then His glorious resurrection.  The main message - "Here is Hope...Hope did not die here, but here was given."  :)  I've felt that multiple times while practicing and hearing this music.  I've been touched, uplifted, inspired and had the chance to watch others be touched as well.  I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I know that He lives!  "This is He!  Our Hope, Our Deliverer, Our All!  Our comfort by day and our song in the night.  The Resurrection and the Life.  He who shall reign.  In whom we will ever rejoice."

Tonight, at our last performance, I was feeling tired, inspired, but mostly.... searching.... wanting to know the Lord's will and wanting to be healed.  :)  With these thoughts in my mind and while reverently sitting on the stage for the few minutes before the concert was to begin I saw people walking in to take their seats.  I noticed towards the back of the audience someone carrying an individual from a wheelchair, someone with obvious physical limitations, someone that I picture being brought to the Savior when He was here on the earth to be healed.  I was touched by the desire of these people to be in this place to feel of His love and His healing.  I realized again that in some way or another we are all seeking His help and healing.  Our faith and belief brought us together tonight to feel and find that for a few minutes.

A few minutes later Martha was singing.  Jesus had come when he heard of Lazarus' death.  Martha testified of His power to heal, but didn't seem to have any idea that healing and life could come so immediately....

"Lord, if Thou hadst been here, If Thou wouldst have heard us, My brother then would not have died.  No.  If Thou hadst been here.  Thou couldst have saved him.  I know that thou couldst have healed him.  But, even now, I know that if thou wilt ask of God, What Thou wouldst, God will give thee.  What thou asketh, He'll give thee.  I know that he shall rise again Lord.  I know he shall rise again in the resurrection At the last day."  When Jesus testifies to her that He is the resurrection and the life she says, "Yea, Lord; I believe that Thou art the Christ, which should come, The Son of God, But I do not understand..."

This interchange was particularly poignant to me.  I think I have not understood.  I know that Jesus makes it possible for us to live again....eventually, as Martha said, "at the last day."  He can heal us, but He is saying that He is here now, He WILL heal us now, today.  :)

Martha continues, "Touch my eyes and bid them see That my gaze might pierce the veil, And behold the wondrous scene That, in dreams, I've long beheld, Oh, touch my heart and bid it know That ev'ry sorrow is but a moment's tear, And Thou wilt make me whole again.  Touch my ears and bid them hear All the glory of Thy truth, That my hope might come of faith And no more require proof.  oh touch my heart and bid it know That, while in darkness here, The Light is ever near, And Thou wilt make me whole again.  Then touch my lips and bid them sing Songs of everlasting praise, That my soul might then believe And give thanks through all my days!  Oh, touch my heart and bid it know That ev'ry breath I take is by Thy tender grace, And Thou wilt make me whole, again."

She asked to see as He does, to have Him touch her heart and make her whole.  I realize that He can make us, he can make me, whole TODAY.  We don't need to wait.  He is here to heal and bless and lift and strengthen and change us NOW, but we must believe, we must come to Him and let Him change us, let Him make us whole.  I am grateful for His power, His life, His healing, His love!!

Love is...

...many things...today it is sleep, reading, books, scriptures, running, sunshine, family history, inspiration, service, kindness, temples, family, grandmas, flowers, cookies, music, friends...

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Happy Valentine's Day!  :)

Claustrophobia vs. An Open Heart

I grew up in a small town (about 30,000 people) on a small island (nearly 600 square miles) - you can drive around O'ahu in about three hours. It was wonderful! People have asked me before if I felt claustrophobic at all. Never! I loved where I grew up....and didn't know anything different! :) It probably helped that we visited the mainland every summer. I enjoyed the chance to visit family and explore other places, but loved coming home to the "rock in the middle of the sea."

Ironically, the last couple of years of my life, when I have seemingly been the most free - having finished graduate school, driven across the country twice, lived on the East Coast, traveled a little bit, and enjoyed some wonderful job opportunities, I've thought more about this idea of feeling trapped or claustrophobic. It might be that as I get older and have seen more places and opportunities I somehow wonder if I'm in the "best" place.....it gets hard to choose, commit, settle down. :) I admit I've felt "trapped" a little bit at times. I don't like to feel trapped; I think that's one reason I love to travel and explore new places and learn new things.

As I've been thinking about this lately, I have been inspired by some wise words from my parents about the importance of having an open heart. I think that makes all the difference in how we experience life and how we feel about the choices we make and how we move forward. As long as our heart is open and we are consistently seeking guidance from the Lord and following the Spirit, we move forward and do our best and don't worry about the rest. We don't need to worry about what anyone else thinks or worry about past decisions or create artificial barriers for ourselves that might make us feel trapped, but move forward in faith (see D&C 6:23). Basically, it's the idea of letting go and trusting (see Trust, Let Go...). I think this may come easier to children, which might also explain why I never felt claustrophobic growing up in Hawaii.

I really like Elder Gerald N. Lund's 2008 talk, Opening Our Hearts. He expresses well some of the things I've been thinking about lately. I also like Dr. Lanae Valentine's 2004 BYU Devotional entitled Removing Roadblocks to Revelation. She says, "When there are blockades between your heart and the will of your Heavenly Father, you will have difficulty choosing in accordance with God's will." She also quotes President Benson who said, "The great task of life is to learn the will of the Lord and then do it."

I think my parents are neat examples of this - they lived many places while I was tiny and had wonderful experiences "unpacking their bags," building relationships and opening their hearts to inspiration and opportunities. I'm grateful for their examples. I'm also grateful for the blessings of fasting and the peace and comfort and clarity it brings to my mind and heart. I have also been inspired by a sweet book I'm currently reading - Glimpses - Into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley. I think that Sister Hinckley's example of kindness, openness, being herself, only saying kind things, passionately learning all that she could and loving everyone along the way is what it means to have an open heart.

Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart

I've said a few things about hearts here before:

• Knowing Someone's Heart (Sept. 2012)
• It's All About our Hearts (Feb. 2010)

A couple of weeks ago, I was inspired by our Relief Society lesson from the life and teachings of President Lorenzo Snow on a similar topic and the scripture in Psalms 139:23-24: "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

It's all about our hearts and our motivations and our character and desires!  Who are we really and is that who we profess to be?  I came across this talk from April 1998 by President James E. Faust, Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart.  It is really neat and reminds us of the importance of living our covenants and having moral courage, as well as humbly following the Lord and His will.  It reminds me of many of the things we have been taught recently about the importance and peace of obedience.

The discussion we had in Relief Society also reminded me about a book that I just read, Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.  It's all about being vulnerable and open to others.  I was thinking about how important it is to be honest and open with ourselves and with God - not oversharing, but being ourselves and letting ourselves be seen, not hiding from the world or from God.

I think there is great power and happiness in being open and being ourselves, most importantly with the Lord.  I know that He loves and knows us (better than we know ourselves) and I find great comfort in sharing the thoughts and feelings of my heart with Him.  Then, I think it is important to listen as he teaches us, corrects us, helps us, guides us and "leads [us] in the way everlasting."

I think one of my very most favorite Mormon Messages sums it up beautifully:

Knowing someone's heart....

I feel very blessed lately by the opportunities I have to be surrounded by good, amazing people!  I have so much to learn and so much that I need to be better at, but I am grateful for an insight I had this week.  I was overwhelmed by a feeling of love and peace while noticing someone's example of service, goodness, and patience.  The main thought I had was how wonderful it is to get a glimpse of someone's heart.  I really think that a majority, if not all hearts are good!

We need to take the time to see people for who they really are, give others the benefit of the doubt and love.  I think we can be hard on each other.  It can be easy to focus on imperfections, especially of those who are close to us (including ourselves) and then we forget to notice how beautiful and wonderful the people around us really are.  I think it's hard to really know someone's heart, but I think it's one of the most wonderful things - and brings a lot of hope and joy!  :)