2021 in Review

It was another interesting year.  While life hasn't returned to normal yet (whatever that is), I'm grateful for opportunities to learn and grow and I've never been more grateful for a vaccine (actually three of them)! ;)  Highlight!  I think due in part to the loneliness and quiet of last year, as soon as I had the chance and things started to turn around, I found opportunities to get outside my house, spend time with people, and serve.  I felt inspired in April to make a few changes and have been grateful for the blessings that have come because of them.  

• I've had the chance to get to know my neighbors better as I returned to a neighborhood congregation at Church (after too many years in a variety of singles wards).  It's been a great blessing to get to know new people and to spend time with the children!  I'm inspired by their goodness and the simplicity and beauty of the gospel of Jesus Christ they can learn from such a young age.  
• I have also had the wonderful opportunity of serving as an ordinance worker in the Draper Temple.  What a blessing it is to be in the temple again and serving and learning and feeling the peace of our Heavenly Father's plan and truth and power of His gospel on a regular basis!  
• I have also had the unique and enjoyable opportunity of teaching as an adjunct professor at Ensign College.  I just finished teaching an Interpersonal Communications class.  It was a lot of work, but it was wonderful!  I learned so much and am grateful for the chance to help students in their quest to become capable and trusted disciples of Jesus Christ.  I'm looking forward to teaching a Physical Geography class next semester. 

In addition to my full-time job, these things have filled up much of my time and I'm grateful.  It's been a blessing to be involved in meaningful work and service.  With so much that is confusing or contentious or discouraging in the world, it's nice to have things keeping me busy that I know will bring ultimate joy and peace for me and others.  I also recognize that I might need a little less busyness and stress in my life again.  It's the pendulum swing of life balance and I'm learning and working on finding that.

Here are a few other highlights from 2021:

Things I Learned

This year I've been reminded of the need to:

• come unto Christ, listen to His words, follow His Spirit, trust Him, and move forward in faith
• learn, explore, use and expand your talents, communicate, and love everyone
• be still and quiet (my pace up a hiking trail qualifies), and look for beauty and goodness
• do what you enjoy, help where you can, make sacrifices, and don't be too hard on yourself
• work hard, do your best, rest, relax, and take care of yourself

Family / Relationships
We've continued our almost weekly family Zoom calls, which has been a blessing this year!  I'm grateful for family and especially a new niece (who's darling and who I finally got to meet at Thanksgiving)!  We actually had two chances to be all together as a family this year.  We spent a week together in Sun River and Otter Rock, Oregon in July.  Highlight!  Then we were also able to get together for a few days at Thanksgiving in Highland, Utah.  I also really love my Christmas break tradition of spending time with my parents in St. George.  I'm really grateful for a loving and supportive family and chances to be together or talk to any of them any time I can.  My sister might disagree, but for me, on a stressful day, one of the best things I can do is spend some time with her kids who help put life into perspective and make me smile and laugh.

Walks and hikes with friends and family, as well as Come, Follow Me study groups via Zoom continue to be a blessing.  It was nice to get to know some people at Ensign College, particularly the students.  I was inspired by their goodness, their desire to learn, their testimonies, and their hope for the future.

Traveling
I was grateful to be back at church, the temple, and on a college campus again.  I loved getting away to Oregon and California for a couple of weeks.  And I'm still so grateful for the peace of the mountains and outdoors.  Here are some of the highlights:

• The office - Construction continues right outside my windows on Temple Square this year.  It has been fun to observe the progress, but I can't wait to see the tulips again someday!
• The mountains - I love the mountains and enjoyed time at some favorite spots and a few new ones--Willow Heights Lake, Alien Tower, Ensign Peak, Horsetail Falls, Three Falls Trail, Mount Olympus section of the Bonneville Trail, Tibble Fork, Gloria Falls, Albion Basin, Catherine Pass, Lake Mary, Dog Lake, Primrose Overlook, Snowbird Tram, Lofty Lakes Loop, Causey Reservoir, Lake Blanche, the Suspension Bridge, and the Draper trails.
• Oregon - Oregon is beautiful!  It was so much fun to explore Sun River!  What a fun little town with more bikes than cars.  It was fun to bike and hike around with the family.  Then we spent another few days on the coast at Otter Rock (driving via Sahalie Falls which was really pretty!), searching the tide pools and exploring the beaches.  It was nice to have some time to slowly drive home along the coast--Cape Kiwanda Dunes, Yachats, Heceta Lighthouse, Bandon, Gold Beach, Secret Beach, and the Samuel Boardman Scenic Area.
• California - The Redwoods are AMAZING!  This was a real highlight to see and wander through and ponder and explore these huge, awe-inspiring trees.  We went to several forests (Stout Grove, Boy Scout Tree, Fern Canyon, Lady Bird Johnson Grove, Tall Trees, Avenue of the Giants, Rockefeller Grove, and the Founders Grove) and also enjoyed the sunsets and views and vineyards of Cresent City, Fort Bragg, Caspar, Mendocino Headlands, Point Cabrillo Lighthouse, the Jedediah Smith Memorial bike trail near Sacramento, and a view of Lake Tahoe and the Salt Flats while driving home.
• St. George - St. George has become the perfect place to relax and regroup between Christmas and the New Year.  I'm grateful for my parents, books, puzzles, hiking trails, and no alarm clock!

I am hoping that next year will include a little bit more traveling... hopefully a trip to Hawaii, and maybe a visit to Washington and Iceland?  We'll see.  Here's to hoping. :)

Reading
This year I loved reading and studying the Doctrine and Covenants.  It was such a blessing to be immersed in the words of God and His revelations and teachings!  These words are just as important for us as for those who wrote and lived them and preserved them for us.  I was inspired again by Joseph Smith and others who sacrificed much and had great faith in the Lord through great challenges.  They are an inspiration and I'm grateful for their important efforts to restore the gospel of Jesus Christ in this dispensation.   The blessings of the temple seemed to be an important focus of the early Saints and the Lord's teachings to them and to us.  I'm grateful for the blessings of the temple in my life and the added light and truth and peace that come from continued study.

I also read the Book of Mormon twice this year.  I love this book and how it helps me feel the Spirit and understand our Heavenly Father's constant love and His plan for His children.  

• The first time through I studied and made notes of all the invitations of the Lord to "come unto me."  Jesus Christ is constantly inviting us to come to Him.  He is there and helps and lifts and shows us the way.  What a message of comfort and peace in our day.  It's not always easy to come to Him and it requires action on our part, but it is very much an open invitation!  I think one of the most oft-repeated words in the Book of Mormon teaching us how to come to Him is repent.  The Book of Mormon is full of that invitation and it is possible because of Him.  What a hopeful and joyful reminder!  Other invitations include: pray, keep the commandments, follow the prophet, listen to His voice, believe, give thanks, remember the things He has done, forgive, rely on Him, have faith, be humble and patient and full of love, harden not our hearts, heed, feel His words, gather, see, plant, be baptized, declare truth, be obedient, endure to the end, serve God, stand steadfast, praise Him, delight in Him, choose Him, worship Him, lay aside our sins, seek Him, look forward, be meek, feast upon His love, awake, rejoice, trust, continue in diligence, ask, give, serve, wait upon Him, walk in His ways, know Him, publish peace, labor, pour out our hearts, covenant, stand as witnesses, be led by the Spirit, fast, nourish seeds with care, exercise faith, minister, look to God, take upon us His name, don’t doubt, unite strength, do good continually, fortify, cleave unto Him, turn unto Him, stop, don’t go home, return and declare His word, bury weapons of war, build on His rock, have an eye single to His glory, be one, sing praises to Him, have hope, be faithful, and be sanctified through Him.  There are just as many instances in the same scriptures of the Lord giving examples of how he's reaching out to us to show that he really means... COME!  ;)  One of my favorite verses this year was the Lord's invitation in 3 Nephi 9:14: "if ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me."
• The second time through I spent time studying how our Heavenly Father communicates with us (coinciding with my communications class).  It reminded me of how much He wants to communicate with us!  Heavenly Father truly wants to communicate with us.  He speaks constantly… directly to His children, inviting us to pray, introducing His Son and our Savior to minister and teach and heal, sending His Spirit to guide us, speaking to His prophets, asking them to teach and testify and record His words, sending angels, controlling the elements, sharing His gifts and power, and making and keeping promises.  We can choose to hear and heed His loving words and recognize His mercy in our lives. 

I also loved reading a number of articles about intrapersonal and interpersonal communications.  It was good to be reminded of the importance of communication in every aspect of our lives.  I learned more about perception, self-esteem, strengths, spiritual communication, listening, digital communication, emotional intelligence, nonverbal communication, relationships, communication with family, conflict resolution, and problem solving.

In addition to this study, I read 106 books. Here are some of my favorites (in no particular order, but roughly most recent read to least recent):

• Whole in Christ by Robert L. Millet
• We Cross the Bridge and It Trembled by Wendy Pearlman
• Anxiously Engaged: A Biography of M. Russell Ballard by Susan Easton Black
• Real vs. Rumor by Keith A. Erekson
• The Savior in Kirtland by Karl R. Anderson
• The Spirit of Revelation by David A. Bednar
• What the Scriptures Teach Us about Raising a Child by S. Michael Wilcox
• Beyond the Shade of the Mango Tree by Edward Dube
• A Walk in My Shoes by Ben Schilaty
• First: The Life and Faith of Emma Smith by Jennifer Reeder
• Caste: The Origins of our Discontent by Isabel Wilkerson
• The Spiritual Physics of Light by Aaron D. Franklin
• Remembering Joseph by Mark L. McConkie
• Reaching for the Savior by Reyna I. Aburto
• Know Brother Joseph
• Drawing on the Powers of Heaven by Grant Von Harrison
• I Think You're Wrong, But I'm Listening by Sarah Holland
• God Will Prevail by Kery Muhlestein
• How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
• Wilford Woodruff's Witness: The Development of Temple Doctrine by Jennifer Mackley
• The Rabbit Effect by Kelly Harding
• The Sweetness of Forgetting by Kristin Harmel
• Leaves from My Journal by Wilford Woodruff
• The Midnight Library by Matt Haig
• Restoration by Patrick Mason
• The Book of Lost Names by Kristen Harmel
• The Beekeeper of Aleppo by Christy Lefteri
• In the Hands of the Lord: The Life of Dallin H. Oaks by Richard E. Turley, Jr.
• The Things We Cannot Say by Kelly Rimmer
• Everything Beautiful in My Time by Jenna Bush Hager
• Legacy of Mercy #2 by Lynn Austin
• No Time Like the Future by Michael J. Fox
• I'm Still Here by Austin Brown
• Silence and Walking by Erling Kagge

Learning / Service
I'm grateful for new opportunities to learn and serve this year, and want to be more aware and intentional in focusing outward in order to help meet others' needs and give where I can. 

• Family History - During the first half of the year, when I couldn't be in the temple, I increased my indexing efforts, which was a great blessing.  I also spent time learning about and compiling some information about my ancestors, particularly learning about the first ancestors in each of my family lines who joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (all of them between 1831 in Ohio and 1883 in Switzerland).  I'm grateful for their legacy and examples and faith!  
• Temples - I have loved being back in the temple and have tried to be there as consistently as I can find an appointment available.  My weekly service as a temple worker has been a great reminder of the power and blessing of temple ordinances and covenants.
• Church - I enjoyed teaching Sunday School for the first few months of the year (all on Zoom), and then I had the chance to get to know some sweet new Relief Society sisters on the activities committee for a few months, before being called to serve in the Primary.  I haven't spent time in Primary since I was there as a kid, thirty years ago, so it's been a learning experience, but a great joy, too.  Children have a way of gladdening the heart, believing, seeing the good, and making you smile. :)
• Fitness / Nature - I walked more steps this year than last year, and explored some great new hiking trails and nature highlights, especially in the Redwoods, but otherwise I need to work on diversifying my exercise.

I'm grateful for all that I've learned this year and am looking forward to a brand new year to keep learning and growing and hopefully progressing and helping others, too.

2019 in Review

2019 was pretty great! I accomplished some goals, learned some things, grew a bit, had some fun, and also found new opportunities and direction along the way. Here are a few highlights....

Family / Relationships
I loved spending time with family this year and had quite a few chances.  

• Although I missed the spontaneous family trip to Disneyland in April, I did get to spend a weekend in Carlsbad in March with Matt's family.  
• I made a weekend trip up to Washington at the end of April to see Josh and Kirsten and the Skagit Valley tulips.  
• Many of us gathered together in Utah at the beginning of May to celebrate Grandma Morgan who passed away at the end of April.  She was and is such a blessing in my life.  I learned so much from her and will always remember her happiness, kindness, and love for everyone.  I'm glad I had so many opportunities to spend meaningful time with her in the mountains and beyond.  I miss her, but am grateful for so many happy memories together.
• The same weekend in May we celebrated Mason's baptism.  
• Cari and I (and usually Mason or any of the rest of her family that was willing) spent time hiking together in all the seasons.  Josh and Kirsten stopped by for a few days too and we went to Lake Blanche mostly together (when I could keep up).  Dad is always a willing and encouraging hiking companion when he's in town.
• Matt and Josh surprised me for my birthday and came to hike the Tetons with me and Cari and Mom and Dad.  It was a really sweet weekend.  
• I made another trip to Washington in September for Noah's baptism and Harry's blessing.  It was fun to meet the newest nephew (who is darling!!!) and spend time together in Washington (it's a great place to have two brothers). ;)  
• We all got to be together in St. George and Lehi for Thanksgiving this year.  It was really nice to all be together for a few days.  

I tried to spend a little more one-on-one time with the nieces and nephews this year.  Kayla and I went to In-N-Out to celebrate her elementary school graduation!  Kai and I had fun learning quite a few spelling words together.  Mason and I enjoyed hiking together to Lake Desolation (8 miles... he's a good little hiker!).  Hailey and I have fun doing whatever Hailey's doing.  ;)  She always makes me smile.  Noah inspired me with his football knowledge and catching.  Henri and I wrote notes together at Thanksgiving and he was my best helper with the Thanksgiving puzzle.  Charlie (or Captain America, that day) and I hiked up Rattlesnake Ridge (it was kind of a highlight to see how he'd make everyone smile).  Harry is the sweetest thing--love him!  I need to spend more time with him and am grateful for Marco Polo. ;)

I enjoyed catching up with old friends and roommates who came to town, traveling or hiking or celebrating Chinese new year with other friends, and building meaningful relationships with friends in my neighborhood that I met with regularly to study the scriptures and the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I've learned and grown much at work this year and am grateful for dear friends and mentors and leaders there.  I celebrated weddings and new babies with some friends and mourned with another who lost her father suddenly.  I was grateful to be able to get together with our "Loto Taha family" in December.  Relationships truly are such a blessing and purpose of life!

Traveling 

2019 was a good year for travel!  Here are some of the adventures...

• Australia / New Zealand - This year's travel highlight was Australia and New Zealand in February. It was WONDERFUL! My friend Kat and I visited Sydney where we walked across the harbor bridge and around the harbor, including the Opera House. We took a ferry to Manly and walked around the beaches there, too. We went to church at a Tongan ward and then flew to Queenstown, New Zealand (South Island). We stayed in a great little airbnb and explored the city for a couple of days. Then we spent a couple of nights in Te Auna where we did part of the Kepler Track, and the Routeburn Track, and cruised the Milford Sound. We saw lots of sheep, waterfalls, and gorgeous landscapes. Then we flew to Melbourne where we did a temple session and drove the Great Ocean Road. We stayed in Lorne near the beginning of the road for two nights. The Twelve Apostles were quite impressive. It was a fantastic trip! I'd love to spend a lot more time in New Zealand some day.
• Carlsbad, California - I spent a nice weekend in Carlsbad while Matt's family was living there in March. It was lovely! We could walk to the beach from their house. We spent time in the tide pools, seeing the La Jolla sea lions, and walking around Torrey Pines.
• Kirkland and Snoqualmie, Washington - I made it to Washington twice this year, once at the end of April to visit Josh and Kirsten and see the tulips in Skagit Valley (BEAUTIFUL! Highlight! Must see!); and once in September for Noah's baptism and Harry's baby blessing (wonderful!).
• NORTH DAKOTA - I made it to my fiftieth state, North Dakota, over Memorial Day. It was actually very nice. My friend Melanie and I flew to Bismarck, did a temple session, looked around the state capital, and then drove to Dickinson. We walked around a little bit of Theodore Roosevelt National Park and then went on to visit Devil's Tower. We attended church in Casper, Wyoming before stopping along the pioneer trail sites on the drive home--Independence Rock, Martin's Cove, 6th Crossing of the Sweetwater, and Rock Creek Hollow. These were special places I was grateful to see!
• Driggs to Jenny Lake - I celebrate my fortieth birthday hiking 23 miles from Driggs to Jenny Lake with Dad, Cari, Matt, and Josh. One of my very favorite hikes and one of the most beautiful places in the world! I've now done it four times and hope to do it again sometime in my life. Mom was a patient driver and supporter. It was a really fun day (expect for the last three miles of blisters). It was nice to spend a long weekend with my parents and siblings. I'm grateful for their support and encouragement throughout life.
• St. George - I made it to St. George twice this year, for Thanksgiving (with the whole family) and for Christmas (with Mom and Dad). It's a great place to get away to when there's time.

Reading
This year I read the Book of Mormon and the New Testament. This has been my most important reading and study this year. I've loved learning about the Savior! It has changed me. I feel like I know Him better. I want to continue to learn and focus on Him. I know He lives and loves us. I've had the chance to study with family and friends throughout the year which has helped me learn and apply even more.  

In addition to this study, I read 102 books. Here are some of my favorites (in no particular order):

• A Republic, If You Can Keep It by Neil Gorsuch
• Free to Believe: The Battle Over Religious Freedom in America by Luke Goodrich
• Witness for His Names by Jeffrey R. Holland
• His Holy Name by Dallin H. Oaks
• The Priesthood Power of Women by Barbara Morgan Gardner
• L. Tom Perry: An Uncommon Life, Vol. 2 by Lee Tom Perry
• The Second Mountain by David Brooks
• Candle in the Darkness by Lynn Austin
• From Heart to Heart by Russell M. Nelson
• The Day the World Came to Town: 9/11 in Gander, Newfoundland by Jim DeFede
• This is Where You Belong by Melody Warnick
• The Divine Center by Steven R. Covey
• Listening is An Act of Love by Dave Isay
• The Mortal Messiah, Book 4 by Bruce R, McConkie
• Crossings by Melissa Inouye
• The Remarkable Journey of Coyote Sunrise by Dan Gemeinhart
• Insights from a Prophet's Life: Russell M. Nelson by Sheri Dew
• Follow Me to Zion: Stories from the Willie Handcart Pioneers by Andrew D. Olsen
• Love Your Enemies by Arthur C. Brooks
• Daughter of Moloka'i by Alan Brennert
• The Prosperity Paradox by Clayton M. Christensen
• Learning in the Light of Faith by Henry B. Eyring
• Grace Works by Robert Millet
• Where We Belong by Lynn Austin
• Keepers of the Covenant by Lynn Austin
• Blessed by Lloyd D. Newell
• Faith is Not Blind by Bruce C. Hafen
• An Early Resurrection by Adam S. Miller
• First Principles and Ordinances by Samuel Morris Brown
• The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker
• What a Friend We Have in Jesus by Chieko Okazaki
• A Fall of Marigolds by Susan Meissner
• Handcarts to Zion by Leroy R. Hafen
• Silent Souls Weeping by Jane Clayson Johnson
• Soulful Simplicity by Courtney Carver
• Wishtree by Kathrine Applegate

Service / Learning / Other Exploring

• Temples - This year I attended three new temples - Melbourne Australia, Bismarck North Dakota, and Las Vegas Nevada. I'm grateful for the blessings of the temple in my life!
• Service - I was a hostess again at the Festival of Trees in December. I found a few causes to support for Christmas and want to be more involved in the community in 2020.
• Church - I have loved teaching Sunday School this year and learning about the Savior's life and teachings in the New Testament. One of the greatest blessings of my life this year has been a consistent Come, Follow Me study group.
• Fitness and Nature - I was a little more social with my fitness goals this year. For about six months of the year I was pretty consistent working out at my gym before work with a friend. I also found friends and family to take hiking quite a bit this year which was nice. I made it to Desolation Lake, the Snowbird Tram, Albion Basin, Lake Blanche, Willow Heights Lake, Driggs to Jenny Lake via Alaska Basin and Cascade Canyon, and lots of the Draper trails.

I'm grateful for another year. Life is great!

2018 Goals

In reflecting back on 2017 and thinking about some goals I've been trying to work on for a while, this year I want to simplify and focus on relationships!  Jesus taught that the most important commandment is to "love the Lord...with all [our] heart,... soul, and... mind" and then to "love [our] neighbour."  I know this and say it a lot, but this year I want to live it and prioritize it better.

I've been thinking about this the last few days and then when I heard of President Monson's passing early this morning, one of the first quotes I saw someone remember him by was from a 2008 talk where he said, "Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved."  He talked so much about love and lifting others, "Every day of our lives we are given opportunities to show love and kindness to those around us.... Love is expressed in many recognizable ways: a smile, a wave, a kind comment, a compliment. Other expressions may be more subtle, such as showing interest in another’s activities, teaching a principle with kindness and patience, visiting one who is ill or homebound. These words and actions and many others can communicate love. May we begin now, this very day, to express love to all of God’s children, whether they be our family members, our friends, mere acquaintances, or total strangers. As we arise each morning, let us determine to respond with love and kindness to whatever might come our way."  And even more than he talked about it, President Monson lived it, and blessed so many individually and all of us by his example.

I want this to be my focus this year - people, relationships, love, kindness, and the Spirit that will help to direct and lead to the best ways to serve and the people that need to be noticed.  It's easy to get caught up in schedules, do-to lists, goals, checklists (even if they have some good things on them), but I think for me some of these have become a distraction from what's most important.

When I say I want to focus on relationships, here are a few specific ways:

• Heavenly Father - Most importantly, I want to strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  I'm a pretty consistent pray-er in my heart.  I feel like many and most of my thoughts are drawn out to and directed towards Him - expressing gratitude here and there, asking for help and guidance, thinking about His tender mercies - but I know that I need to be more focused in more formal and faith-filled prayers and will make this my highest priority this year.

• Jesus Christ - Knowing the Savior better is related and important.  He is my Advocate with the Father and the perfect example for what I need to become to make it home to Heavenly Father.  I loved and learned a lot last year studying the Book of Mormon specifically looking for the Savior - his words, his names, his mission, and his character.  I hope to continue this study in the Old Testament and other scriptures this year. 

• Holy Ghost - We learn truth and are guided and comforted by the Holy Ghost.  I would like more of that in my life and hope to be more attuned to His direction and ready to act.

• Me - One part of my focus on relationships this year is about me, I hope not selfishly, but I'd like to better know and love myself, be true to myself, worry less about others' expectations, and give myself permission to be me. :)  I want to learn and work on cultivating some talents - music, photography, writing, reading, language, hiking, running, cooking - and of course include some travel time (maybe Australia/New Zealand, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Florida?). 

• Family - I want to be more thoughtful about meaningful time with my family members this year - grandmothers, parents, siblings (and their spouses), niece/nephews, and extended family.

• Friends - Friends add much to the joy of life and I'd like to deepen relationships this year.

• Strangers - I hope to always be aware of those around me and find ways to lift and help.  I hope to find ways to consistently serve.

I realize, even in thinking about and articulating these goals, that relationships are work.  It takes being proactive and selfless, vulnerable and open, thinking more about someone else, listening, giving, being thoughtful, but I know relationships are rewarding and the reason we're here - there are people to love!  I want to do better.  <3

Happy New Year!

2017 Highlights

2017 was a great year!  I worked towards some of my goals - I tried to simplify, pray, express gratitude, build relationships, learn, travel, serve, read, hike/exercise, and I think there was a little more purpose and light.  Here are a few more specifics and highlights of the year....

Traveling

• St. George - I made it to St. George twice this year - President's Day weekend and Thanksgiving.  It was nice to relax and spend time with my parents.  This year included hiking in and around Snow Canyon; biking the river trail and into Zion's National Park on Thanksgiving - really fun; putting up Christmas decorations and watching Hallmark movies (two of my favorite things); and the temple.
• Phoenix - Cari and I went on a first ever sisters' trip.  It was really fun!  We spent Easter weekend in Phoenix attending the three temples in that city (Mesa, Phoenix, and Gilbert), watching the Mesa Arizona Easter Pageant, and hiking most of Camelback Mountain.  It was a great weekend and fun new tradition (I hope)!
• Kansas City to St. Louis - I spent a long weekend meeting up with Mom and Dad on part of their cross country trip.  I got to drive across Missouri with them.  I flew into Kansas City and we attended the Kansas City Temple, visited the Independence Visitors' Center and the Harry Truman Library.  Then we got to visit Sedalia and head on to Jefferson City for a couple of nights.  We stayed near the state capitol building and explored that as well as the path along the Missouri River (which was extremely high and muddy this May) and the MKT Trail in Columbia.  We watched a few tornado clouds along the way, too, which was kind of exciting!  (We're not in Kansas anymore.)  Then we made our way to St. Louis.  We biked part of the Katy Trail in St. Charles, attended the St. Louis Temple, saw the St. Louis Arch, and walked across part of the famous Eads Bridge.  It was really fun to explore Missouri and spend time with my parents.
• San Diego, Oahu, and The Big Island - The big trip this year was to Hawaii and it was wonderful!  We met as an immediate family and spouses on the Big Island for a week.  Some of the highlights included Waipio Valley, our own private beach (with manta rays and sea urchins), Pu'uhonua O'Hanaunau, swimming/kayaking with the dolphins at Kealakekua Bay, sunset at Kahaluu Beach and Makalawena Beach, Punaluu Black Sand Beach with the turtles, Volcanoes National Park, waterfalls of Hilo, Saddle Road, the Waikaloa, Pololu Valley, Kailua-Kona town walking, and the Kona Hawaii Temple.  I left a few days early to stop in San Diego where I visited the San Diego Temple and the Mormon Battalion Historic Site and the sea lions at La Jolla.  Then I got to visit Oahu for a couple of days to do all my favorite things - sunrise at Lanikai, hike to the bunker, run the beach from the boat ramp to the rock, swim at Kalama Beach, Kailua pool, Makapuu, hike to the lighthouse, Kokohead Stairs, and friends at church in the Keolu Ward.  It was a wonderful trip!
• New York City - It was a real highlight to spend Christmas weekend with Matt and Megan and their family in New York City.  It was rainy and freezing but wonderful!  I walked nearly 50 miles while I was there from Times Square, to the Upper West Side and all the "You've Got Mail" sites, to Riverside Church and Columbia University, to Central Park (and the Columbus Circle Holiday Market), to the Brooklyn Bridge, Battery Park, Wall Street, the Freedom Tower, Washington Square Park, Soho, Greenwich, the Flatiron Building, to Bryant Park, the Rockefeller Center, Radio City Music Hall (and the Rockettes Christmas Spectacular), the High Line, Chelsea Market, Christmas Eve Children's Nativity Mass at St. Paul the Apostle Church, the Lincoln Center and to Church/the Temple.  It was fun to see the city all decorated for Christmas and to explore, but the best part was spending time with Matt's family.  Some of my favorite things - scootering around town and the Bryant Park "race track" (even in the cold and rain), learning about all the subways, finding all the best parks and bagels and books, watching and singing Star Wars, racing cars, putting together puzzles, acting out the nativity, eating chocolate and all of Megan's delicious dishes, praying, playing, and just talking and being together. :)

Reading
I read 90 books this year, plus the Book of Mormon twice.  The first time through I studied about love and charity - and it's FULL of love!  ;)  The second time through I studied about Jesus Christ, his names/titles, his words, his characteristics, and his mission - I learned a lot about our Heavenly Father, as well, and our Savior's mission and love.  Truly the Book of Mormon is a testament of Jesus Christ and the plan of salvation, our purpose here on earth.  I'm grateful for it and know it's the word of God.  This was a wonderful experience and I hope to continue this focus as I read the Old Testament next year!  I also read much of the Doctrine and Covenants, and about 1,100 General Conference talks (from 1983 to 2001).  I'm grateful for chances to learn and study.  

Here were some of my favorites books of 2017: 

• Seek This Jesus by Neill F. Marriott
• That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon's Perspective on Faith & Family by Tom Christofferson
• One by One by David A. Bednar
• Be Thou An Example by Gordon B. Hinckley
• Changed Through His Grace by Brad Wilcox
• Worth the Wrestle by Sheri Dew
• Planted: Belief and Belonging in an Age of Doubt by Patrick Q. Mason
• Love Kindness: Discover the Power of a Forgotten Christian Virtue by Barry H. Corey
• Let God Love You: why we don't, how we can by Wendy Ulrich
• Loveable: Embracing What Is Truest About You, So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life by Kelly Flanagan
• Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living by Shauna Niequist
• Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stevenson
• Friends Divided: John Adams and Thomas Jefferson by Gordon S. Wood
• Joseph Smith: The Prophet and Seer by Richard Neitzel Holzapfel
• How We Got the Book of Mormon by Richard E. Turley, Jr.
• The Inevitable Apostasy and the Promised Restoration by Tad R. Callister
• The First Fifty Years of Relief Society: Key Documents in Latter-Day Saint Women's History by Jill Mulvay Derr
• At the Pulpit: 185 Years of Discourses by Latter-day Saint Women by Jennifer Reeder
• The Witness of Women: Firsthand Experiences and Testimonies from the Restoration by Janiece Johnson
• QB: My Life Behind the Spiral by Steve Young
• An Unseen Angel: A Mother's Story of Faith, Hope and Healing after Sandy Hook by Alissa Parker
• Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry
• Echo by Pam Munoz Ryan
• The Girl With Seven Names: A North Korean Defector's Story by Hyeonseo Lee
• A Hope More Powerful Than the Sea: One Refugee's Incredible Story of Love, Loss, and Survival by Melissa Fleming
• The Lightless Sky: A Twelve-Year-Old Refugee's Harrowing Escape from Afghanistan and His Extraordinary Journey Across Half the World by Gulwali Passarlay
• The Boy Who Spoke to the Earth by Chris Burkard

Service / Learning / Other Exploring

• Temples - This year (in addition to the weekly temple visits here in the Salt Lake valley) I attended six new temples - Mesa Arizona, Phoenix Arizona, Gilbert Arizona, Kansas City Missouri, St. Louis Missouri, and San Diego California.  I'm grateful for the blessings of the temple in my life!
• Service - I finished my weekly teaching at the ESLC in May, but have filled in as a sub a few times and still enjoy being a part of the community and learning with the sweet refugees.  I also helped at a Mother's Day event for homeless women in May, and was a hostess again at the Festival of Trees in November.  I also started to develop a giving strategy, setting aside some money that I'd like to give each year to worthy causes to help make a difference for good in the world and community.
• Church - I was involved in my ward this year and got to know a lot of people, mostly through visiting teaching and missionary outreach - we had two baptism this year.  I also enjoyed our ward choir and a chance to sing in an interfaith concert in April.
• Fitness and Nature - I ran the American Fork Half Marathon in June (my new favorite half - I might have to do it again).  I also spent a good amount of time hiking and in nature - my happy place!  I tried to bring along friends and family a few more times this year, which was fun.  Some of the highlights include Lake Blanche, Red Pine Lake, White Pine Lake, the Snowbird Tram, Willow Heights Lake, Dog Lake, Cecret Lake, Albion Basin, Lakes Mary, Martha, and Catherine, Bell Canyon, The Living Room, and lots of other adventures in Big and Little Cottonwood Canyons and the Draper trails.  I'm grateful for our Heavenly Father's beautiful creations and how being out in them helps me feel close to Him!  
• Relationships - This year I tried to focus more on individual relationships with family, friends, and everyone around me.  I don't know that I made it to my goal of 365 thank you notes, but I was more conscious of goodness and blessings around me and tried to express that any chance I got to friends and strangers.
• Other Events - I finished up as our BYU MPA class rep this year, but not before I had the chance to help out with some presentation reviews for the EMPA graduating class, and attend our yearly board meeting.  I also attended our yearly picnic and an Education Week fireside which was nice.  The best MPA related news this year though, was a Loto Taha reunion - it was so fun to spend time with my first team of great friends!  A couple of other fun events - I don't see many movies, but this year I did really enjoy La La Land (by myself on Valentine's Day - kind of great!) and Wonder.  I also loved seeing the Nutcracker, hearing the Christmas concert at the Cathedral of Madeline, and taking a tour of the Provo MTC's new addition - brought back so many sweet memories!  

Life is great!

2016 in Review

So, apparently I didn't make any real official and formal goals last year (that I recorded), so I exceeded expectations, right (or at least I'm still alive and got out of bed every day)?!  ;)  It was a good year and I'm grateful for each day.  I'll try to be better focused and actually accomplish something in 2017, but here are some highlights of 2016:

Reading
I read too much this year (93 books to be exact), but I guess that's what an almost daily Trax ride is good for (and without other goals reading is my default).  ;)  We did have a semi-successful family book club as well, which was fun.  You can click on the links for my individual reviews, but here were some of my favorites:

• In His Steps by Charles M. Sheldon
• Life is Good:  The Book by Bert and John Jacobs
• Love Does by Bob Goff
• The Contrite Spirit:  How the Temple Helps Us Apply Christ's Atonement by Bruce C. Hafen
• That We Might Have Joy by Howard W. Hunter
• The Enoch Letters by Neal A. Maxwell
• Raising Up A Family to the Lord by Gene R. Cook
• Walk Tall, You're a Daughter of God by Jamie Glenn
• Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
• No Greater Love by Mother Theresa
• Coming to Know Christ by Robert L. Millet
• The Promise of a Pencil by Adam Braun
• Grit by Angela Duckworth
• When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi
• Okay for Now by Gary D. Schmidt
• Hidden Places by Lynn Austin
• Living Your Covenants Every Day by Jennifer Brinkerhoff Platt
• The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery
• The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

But my real favorite, not listed or counted above, was the Book of Mormon.  I'm grateful for this incredible book!  I know it is truly the word of God and living it's teachings will make us happy today and eternally.  This year I focused on JOY, studying, looking for joy...and there is much!  The greatest joy seems to come from gratitude, remembering God, faithfulness, obedience, righteousness, family, work, worship, covenants, service, the temple, freedom, truth, scriptures, prophets, repentance, Christ, conversion, missionary work, and the Spirit.  If you haven't read this book yet it needs to be first on your list!  ;)

Traveling

• St. George - I made it to St. George three times this year - President's Day weekend, July 4th weekend, and Thanksgiving.  It was nice to relax and spend time with family hiking and running Snow Canyon, biking the river trail, getting out of the cold, exploring the new parks, feeding the ducks, watching movies, talking, hanging out, watching the rain storms, seeing a play and the live nativity at Tuacahn, and Christmas lights at the St. George Temple.
• Zion - We had a nice Kunzler Family Reunion near Zion National Park over the July 4th weekend.  It was nice for so many of us to be together.  We had some nice devotionals, a good hike, good food, swimming, a service project, and some fun games.  It was a nice week starting with a stop in St. George and then a stop on the way home at Bryce.
• Idaho - After a few days to hang out with most of the immediate family (just minus Josh and Kirsten) in Lehi, Draper, and Salt Lake (fireworks, hiking the Y, Freedom Festival parade, donuts, slip-n-slide, and Albion Basin) we spent another day all together at Lava Hot Springs.  Then the #MorganBoyz and Mom and Dad and I spent another couple of nights in Driggs, Idaho so that Dad, Matt, Megan, and I could hike Table Mountain.  BEAUTIFUL!  One of my favorite hikes and areas on the planet!  Then Mom and Dad and I drove home via Rexburg.  It was a nice week!
• Vancouver - I spent Labor Day weekend in Vancouver, Canada with my parents and Matt and Megan and their family.  Lovely!  We drove through the pouring rain from Seattle to Whistler, but then enjoyed Whistler village for a couple of days - biking, walking, swimming, hiking Blackcomb/Whistler mountain (with the help of the incredible peak-to-peak gondola).  What a neat area!  Then we spent a another night in Vancouver stopping to hike along the way.  Some of the highlights:  Noah's birthday, Church at the Squamish Branch, hiking "The Chief," Lynn Canyon, walking along Lion's Gate Bridge at sunset, the Grouse Grind (Matt's PR and my surviving and enjoying the muddy mess straight up the mountain through the canopy of trees), and Stanley Park.  It was a great weekend!
• Philadelphia - Kind of last minute I joined some friends for a few days in Philadelphia.  It was a great adventure.  I probably walked close to 20 miles in 2 days all around the city, from river to river.  ;)  It's a wonderful place!  Some of the highlights:  Logan Square, Benjamin Franklin Parkway (and all its flags and fall leaves), LOVE sculputre, City Hall (and watching them set up Christmas), Reading Terminal, Chinatown, Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, the Constitution Center, Christ Church, Elfreth's Alley, Penn's Landing, Benjamin Franklin Bridge (across the Delaware River), the Free Library, Rodin Museum, the Art Museum steps and the Rocky Statue (at sunset while the city prepared for a run the next dayd), the Schuylkill River, Boat House Row, and the Fairmount Water Works.  There is so much history and culture.  I really like Philadelphia - it seems to me a combination of Boston and Washington, D.C.  We also got to attend the new Philadelphia Temple.  It's beautiful, designed so closely after Independence Hall, helping you remember and feel the spirit of freedom and brotherly love.  Then the main highlight of the trip was visiting the newly renovated Priesthood Restoration Site in Harmony, Pennsylvania.  I can only think of a few places in the world more sacred or special and important.  This quiet spot along the Susquehanna River was a place of growth and learning and peace for Joseph and Emma Smith.  I remember visiting Harmony eleven years ago with my family as a part of a trip around the Northeast.  This was one of my favorite places because of the peace, simplicity, and profound power.  I was grateful for the chance to return, now with a beautiful visitors' center, introductory video, restored homes of Elizabeth and Isaac Hale and Joseph and Emma Smith, and peaceful pathways to the river and the sugar bush.  In addition to the visit of John the Baptist and the restoration of the priesthood, this little area was also where most of the Book of Mormon was translated.  What blessings to the world!  It was wonderful!  On our way to the visitors' center attended church at the Scranton Ward.  It was a great weekend topped off by a stop at Valley Forge where the highlight was a walk around 'Mount Joy' through one of the most beautiful forests of fall leaves!  Great weekend!
• Christmas - It was nice to not have to travel anywhere for Christmas, but to get to spend time with family.  I enjoyed having Josh and Kirsten stay with me for a few days and hanging out quite a bit at Cari and Mike's house to celebrate.  We did some singing, visiting, golfing, hiking, sledding, elf-ing, and just hanging out and having fun.  We had some nice time visiting with Grandma Morgan and Grandma Kunzler as well.

Other Learning / Exploring

• Temples - The temple is always a highlight of my year and week.  This year I attended the Salt Lake Temple often, the Draper Temple quite a bit, the Oquirrh Mountain Temple once, and I had the -chance to attend four new temples - Provo City Center, Twin Falls Idaho, Rexburg Idaho, and Philadelphia Pennsylvania.  I'm grateful for the blessings of the temple in my life!
• English Teaching - Since June I have been teaching an English class to refugees every Tuesday night through the ESLC.  It has been a wonderful opportunity to meet some special people and learn from them.  Right now I have students from Afghanistan, Iraq, Sudan, South Sudan, Congo, Mexico, Peru, Brazil, North Korea, and Bhutan.  They have overcome much and have such positive attitudes and desires to learn.  I enjoy being a part of the community and learning with them.
• New Ward - They created a new mid-singles ward in Sandy in June.  It has been nice to get to know some new people and have some new opportunities for service - visiting teaching and missionary outreach work mostly, but a highlight has also been the ward choir!  I'm grateful for music, for chances to serve, and opportunities to learn and worship.
• Hiking - One of the happiest parts of the year has been time in the mountains...chasing flowers and fall leaves mostly, but just being outside is a blessing!  The highlights were Table Mountain in Idaho/Wyoming and the mountains of Canada (Blackcomb/Whistler, "The Chief," the Grouse Grind), but I also loved the Wasatch.  I hiked Grandeur Peak, Red Pine Lake, the Snowbird Tram, Willow Heights Lake, Dog Lake, Cecret Lake, Lake Blanche, Lakes Mary, Martha, and Catherine, and lots of other adventures of Big and Little Cottonwood Canyons as well as Bell Canyon and the Draper trails.  I'm grateful for our Heavenly Father's beautiful creations!  
• Running - I didn't do as much running this year, but did complete the Hobble Creek Half Marathon in August (which was actually more like 14.1 miles since we had to walk about a mile from the bus to the starting line before we began).  It's a beautiful course down the canyon and on a lovely path through Mapleton and it was fun to do with Dad!
• Mission Reunion - We had a wonderful and unique mission reunion this year to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the Church in Korea.  An all-missions, all-years reunion was held at the UVU events center in September.  It was so neat to see so many friends and feel the spirit of missionary work and Korea!  What a great blessing in my life that continues to bring joy!
• BYU MPA - I'm glad to still have a close association with the BYU MPA program as one of the class representatives to the board.  I spent a day in Provo for meetings in November.  It was fun to reconnect and learn what's going on lately.
• Light of the World Garden - While not a huge thing, I did enjoy a visit to the new Light of the World Garden at Thanksgiving Point.  These beautiful statues portray the life of Christ so wonderfully in a lovely setting.  

Life is good!

FOMO

Recently I realized that I have a real fear of missing out.  ;)  We probably all have something we don't want to miss.  For me, I have a crazy addiction with the beautiful fall leaves!!!!  Have you seen them?????!!!!!  If not, YOU'VE MISSED OUT!!  :)

I love this time of year, but I don't want to miss one leaf!  ;)  Nights that I'm tied up doing something else and I don't get home before dark I wonder if I'll ever have a chance to see them before they're gone.  This is very real and makes me anxious.  (If you can't tell, the mountains and fall leaves are my happy place, but I know they are temporary.)

The beauty begins in the mountains and then comes to the city.  There are many great places to see them, but so little time.  They disappear at some point and winter comes.  I've found myself very intentionally trying to plan my weeks to maximize my time in the mountains recently....and then wandering home from work the long way to catch all the trees.

Thinking about the leaves and identifying my anxiety with missing them has helped me realize that there are other things that I worry about missing:

• Missing an opportunity....for work, service, relationships....
• Not accomplishing my life's mission, what I was sent here to do (have I already missed it?)
• Eternal life, being with God again....I want to and will do anything I can to get there, but have I missed something?  Will I miss being there?  This is one I really don't want to miss, but how can I be sure that I'll be there?

I realize that many of these "fears" exist because I either get impatient, overwhelmed, or lose faith and focus on the Lord.  I think that FOMO can distract and paralyze us, if we're not careful (regardless of what it is that we're afraid of missing).

I try to squeeze a lot into my days and life.  I think we need to be proactive, use our time well, fill it would good things, but I'm realizing more and more the importance of.... Don't compare.  Don't worry.  Be you.  "Be still and know that [He is] God" (see Psalms 46 and D&C 101).  Be content.  Be happy.  Be patient.  Do good.   Be present.  Choose.  Let go.  Go forward.  Live each day with the Spirit to guide.  Seek to do His will and you'll find happiness and contentment each time!

All of these things I've learned and thought about have made me even more grateful for the leaves :) and the seasons in life, and the beauty our Father has created for us!

Why am I here?

Even with all the joy and hope that I've found in the scriptures and life lately, there are still hard days and I wonder sometimes - Why am I here?  What am I doing?  Particularly lately I've felt like maybe I could and should be doing something more somewhere else?  This is mostly in regards to my ward and Church service, but a few others things might fall into the category.

That's why I was SOOOO grateful for a very sweet testimony today that helped me understand my place now a little bit better.  ;)  A guy in our ward talked about serving his mission in Tonga.  He served for a time on a very small island where he knew everyone's name and no one was interested in listening.  He loved being a missionary, but wondered if his time might not be better spent somewhere else.  Why had the Lord sent him there?  Surely there were other places he could be making more of a difference.  As he thought and prayed and worried about this he received an answer from the Lord who said, "I brought you to this island, without other distractions, so that I could spend time with you!"  :D  How sweet is that!?  ;)

I believe that wherever we are the Lord truly does want to spend time with us, but the bigger issue (and as this brother pointed out since returning from his mission) is us making time for Him!  I think this is always important, but there may be certain times in our life when we either need a little more time with the Lord or He is specifically inviting us to not worry about a lot of others things and just spend time with Him!  I feel like I've had a lot of time on my hands lately - some I've used well, some less well, but my great desire truly is to spend this time with Him (whether that be in the scriptures, in prayer, in the temple, in service, in His beautiful creations, with His other children...)!  I know this brings the greatest happiness and direction and purpose and I'm very grateful for the reminder....that that's why I'm here.  ;)

Must Go THROUGH!

I remember hearing a song when I was growing up about something being too high that you can't go over it, too low that you can't go under it, too wide that you can't go around it, so you have to go right through!  I don't think I understood the song at the time, but I have been thinking about this concept A LOT lately.

It seems like every other article, blog, scripture, and talk I've read lately says something about the importance and necessity of going THROUGH something.  Each of these experiences is for our learning and progress and ultimate happiness, but they are often the very things that we pray away and just want to be over!

Someone pointed out this blog post.  I love this child's question and the discussion that follows and what it got me thinking about - Why didn't the angel just take him out?

While preparing a Sunday School lesson about agency I was searching through some of Elder Bednar's talks about acting and not being acted upon.  I came upon a few great thoughts:

Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease (April 2014)

The Atonement and the Journey of Mortality (April 2012)
"Nephi is an example of one who knew, understood, and relied upon the enabling power of the Savior. Recall that the sons of Lehi had returned to Jerusalem to enlist Ishmael and his household in their cause. Laman and others in the party traveling with Nephi from Jerusalem back to the wilderness rebelled, and Nephi exhorted his brethren to have faith in the Lord. It was at this point in their journey that Nephi’s brothers bound him with cords and planned his destruction. Please note Nephi’s prayer: “O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bandswith which I am bound” (1 Nephi 7:17; emphasis added).

Do you know what I likely would have prayed for if I had been tied up by my brothers? “Please get me out of this mess NOW!” It is especially interesting to me that Nephi did not pray to have his circumstances changed. Rather, he prayed for the strength to change his circumstances. And I believe he prayed in this manner precisely because he knew, understood, and had experienced the enabling power of the Atonement.

I do not think the bands with which Nephi was bound just magically fell from his hands and wrists. Rather, I suspect he was blessed with both persistence and personal strength beyond his natural capacity, that he then “in the strength of the Lord” (Mosiah 9:17) worked and twisted and tugged on the cords, and ultimately and literally was enabled to break the bands.

The implication of this episode for each of us is straightforward. As you and I come to understand and employ the enabling power of the Atonement in our personal lives, we will pray and seek for strength to change our circumstances rather than praying for our circumstances to be changed. We will become agents who act rather than objects that are acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:14)."

Then Elder Bednar discusses Mosiah 24:14-15 and Alma's experience when his people are being persecuted by Amulon.

"What was changed in this episode? It was not the burden that changed; the challenges and difficulties of persecution were not immediately removed from the people. But Alma and his followers were strengthened, and their increased capacity and strength made the burdens they bore lighter. These good people were empowered through the Atonement to act as agents and impact their circumstances. And “in the strength of the Lord” Alma and his people were then directed to safety in the land of Zarahemla."

In the Strength of the Lord (October 2001)

These thoughts remind me that life is all about what we're becoming.  If life were easy and happy all the time we wouldn't grow.  This ties right into the another Sunday School lesson (The Fall of Adam and Eve and the need for opposition).  I also love this quote President Faust shared in October 2004:  "Dr. Arthur Wentworth Hewitt suggested some reasons why the good suffer as well as the wicked: “First: I don’t know. Second: We may not be as innocent as we think. Third: … I believe it is because He loves us so much more than He loves our happiness. How so? Well, if on a basis of strict personal return here and now, all the good were always happy and all the bad suffered disaster (instead of often quite the reverse), this would be the most subtle damnation of character imaginable.”"

Relatedly, Brigham Young taught, "Instead of searching after what the Lord is going to do for us, let us inquire what we can do for ourselves." 

And Elder L. Tom Perry said, "I have sometimes wondered what would have happened if Nephi has asked the Lord for tools instead of a place to find ore to make the tools. I doubt the Lord would have honored Nephi's request. You see, the Lord knew that Nephi could make tools, and it is seldom that the Lord will do something for us that we can do for ourselves."

So, life is kind of all about "going through."  That's where we'll grow and learn what we can and need to become and that is why we're here - to become something more.  Neat!

Make Me Whole

It was a special day.  It was a special week.  I've had the opportunity the past couple of months and weeks to be a part of a choir performing "Lamb of God" by Rob Gardner - a beautiful presentation with orchestra, soloists, and narrators telling the story of Christ's life, particularly the last week of his life and then His glorious resurrection.  The main message - "Here is Hope...Hope did not die here, but here was given."  :)  I've felt that multiple times while practicing and hearing this music.  I've been touched, uplifted, inspired and had the chance to watch others be touched as well.  I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I know that He lives!  "This is He!  Our Hope, Our Deliverer, Our All!  Our comfort by day and our song in the night.  The Resurrection and the Life.  He who shall reign.  In whom we will ever rejoice."

Tonight, at our last performance, I was feeling tired, inspired, but mostly.... searching.... wanting to know the Lord's will and wanting to be healed.  :)  With these thoughts in my mind and while reverently sitting on the stage for the few minutes before the concert was to begin I saw people walking in to take their seats.  I noticed towards the back of the audience someone carrying an individual from a wheelchair, someone with obvious physical limitations, someone that I picture being brought to the Savior when He was here on the earth to be healed.  I was touched by the desire of these people to be in this place to feel of His love and His healing.  I realized again that in some way or another we are all seeking His help and healing.  Our faith and belief brought us together tonight to feel and find that for a few minutes.

A few minutes later Martha was singing.  Jesus had come when he heard of Lazarus' death.  Martha testified of His power to heal, but didn't seem to have any idea that healing and life could come so immediately....

"Lord, if Thou hadst been here, If Thou wouldst have heard us, My brother then would not have died.  No.  If Thou hadst been here.  Thou couldst have saved him.  I know that thou couldst have healed him.  But, even now, I know that if thou wilt ask of God, What Thou wouldst, God will give thee.  What thou asketh, He'll give thee.  I know that he shall rise again Lord.  I know he shall rise again in the resurrection At the last day."  When Jesus testifies to her that He is the resurrection and the life she says, "Yea, Lord; I believe that Thou art the Christ, which should come, The Son of God, But I do not understand..."

This interchange was particularly poignant to me.  I think I have not understood.  I know that Jesus makes it possible for us to live again....eventually, as Martha said, "at the last day."  He can heal us, but He is saying that He is here now, He WILL heal us now, today.  :)

Martha continues, "Touch my eyes and bid them see That my gaze might pierce the veil, And behold the wondrous scene That, in dreams, I've long beheld, Oh, touch my heart and bid it know That ev'ry sorrow is but a moment's tear, And Thou wilt make me whole again.  Touch my ears and bid them hear All the glory of Thy truth, That my hope might come of faith And no more require proof.  oh touch my heart and bid it know That, while in darkness here, The Light is ever near, And Thou wilt make me whole again.  Then touch my lips and bid them sing Songs of everlasting praise, That my soul might then believe And give thanks through all my days!  Oh, touch my heart and bid it know That ev'ry breath I take is by Thy tender grace, And Thou wilt make me whole, again."

She asked to see as He does, to have Him touch her heart and make her whole.  I realize that He can make us, he can make me, whole TODAY.  We don't need to wait.  He is here to heal and bless and lift and strengthen and change us NOW, but we must believe, we must come to Him and let Him change us, let Him make us whole.  I am grateful for His power, His life, His healing, His love!!