My heart hurts....

....it has ever since about 9:00 Tuesday night.

For almost six years now I've hoped that Tuesday night would have been different. I saw so much hope for the country and the future in a President Romney. I am grateful for his example and efforts and service and am excited for him that he doesn't have to put up with the political garbage as much anymore, although I have to say I'm very disappointed in anyone still bashing him and finger-pointing and blaming him for mistakes. I didn't read any of these articles, but saw a few headlines. We all make mistakes. Why blame? Why can't we assume that others are doing the very best they can? I admire Mitt Romney and his family and those that have worked so hard to serve and help make our country better. I'm grateful for their sacrifice and efforts and graciousness. One of the last things I saw before going to bed was a picture Mitt Romney shared on Facebook waving to the crowd with a big "Thank you." What an example!

My heart hurts for our country. We can and need to do better….working together and working hard. We need to protect family, freedom, faith. I went to bed sad and woke up sad. It was hard to get out of bed, but here are a few things I'm grateful for today that have helped me remember that life is bigger even than a presidential election at a critical time in history:

Today I'm grateful that I'm in Utah. I know that there is NO way I could have gotten out of bed and gone to work in DC today - it definitely would have been an emotional sick day.

I'm grateful for my job working at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - a lasting and eternally important cause. I'm happy I have the chance to help build the kingdom of God in a small way each day. I'm grateful for the eternal perspective it reminds me of, which was particularly important to me today.

I'm grateful for a reinforced confirmation about personal decisions I've made about where to be and what to be doing this year. I'm grateful for a reminder of the importance of a balanced life and focus on most important priorities. In some ways maybe this was a wake-up call that I may have been distracted and too invested in things that were less important.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to vote and to vote in such a beautiful place and day.

I'm grateful for my family. As I was reminded by someone on Facebook today, President James E. Faust said, "Your success as a family, our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House, but what happens inside your house."

I'm grateful for a sweet six-year-old niece who was excited about our election night party and knew exactly what we were hoping to hear. When she learned that Mitt Romney didn't win she turned so humbly to my sister and said, "I'm sorry, mom" and gave her a hug. It was so sweet and poignant, I thought. I was reminded of the importance of future generations in the decisions we make today. How can we make life better for these sweet children? …even for the three-year-old who was running around trying to rile us up a bit and have fun with the name, chanting "Obarack Obama winded." :)

I'm grateful for Christmas decorations going up all around me on Temple Square.

I'm grateful for another BEAUTIFUL fall day and lovely lunch time walk.

I'm grateful for a meaningful project at work that helped me focus on the joy and miracle of missionary work....and the importance of the restored gospel and any sacrifice to accept it fully and share it with others.

I'm grateful for the temple. I think that's where I want to live now. :)

I'm grateful for other inspirational thoughts and reminders:

·         Scripture study – the doctrine of Christ – 3 Nephi 27

·         President Thomas S. Monson: "My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith. I declare that God lives and that He hears and answers our prayers."

·         President Thomas S. Monson: "May we ever watch over one another, assisting in times of need. Let us not be critical and judgmental but let us be tolerant, ever emulating the Savior’s example of loving-kindness. In that vein, may we willingly serve one another. May we pray for the inspiration to know of the needs of those around us, and then may we go forward and provide assistance. Let us be of good cheer as we go about our lives. Although we live in increasingly perilous times, the Lord loves us and is mindful of us. He is always on our side as we do what is right. He will help us in time of need. Difficulties come into our lives, problems we do not anticipate and which we would never choose. None of us is immune. The purpose of mortality is to learn and to grow to be more like our Father, and it is often during the difficult times that we learn the most, as painful as the lessons may be. Our lives can also be filled with joy as we follow the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Lord admonished, “Be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” What great happiness this knowledge should bring to us. He lived for us and He died for us. He paid the price for our sins. May we emulate His example. May we show our great gratitude to Him by accepting His sacrifice and living lives that will qualify us to return and one day live with Him.

·         Abraham Lincoln: "We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. They mystic chords of memory swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature."

·         Charles Nibley in 1922: "My brethren and sisters, I hope that we will go home from this conference determined as a great body of people, to stand for law, order, righteousness, justice and peace on earth and good will among all men. I believe as the Prophet Joseph has written, that the day would come when there would be so much of disorder, of secret combinations taking the law into their own hands, tramping upon Constitutional rights and the liberties of the people, that the Constitution would hang as by a thread. Yes, but it will still hang, and there will be enough of good people, many who may not belong to our Church at all, people who have respect for law and for order, and for Constitutional rights, who will rally around with us and save the Constitution. I have never read that that thread would be cut. It will hang; the Constitution will abide and this civilization, that the Lord has caused to be built up, will stand fortified through the power of God, by putting from our hearts all that is evil, or that is wrong in the sight of God, by our living as we should live, acceptable to him."

·         The First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: "We congratulate President Obama on winning a second term as President of the United States. After a long campaign, this is now a time for Americans to come together. It is a long tradition among Latter-day Saints to pray for our national leaders in our personal prayers and in our congregations. We invite Americans everywhere, whatever their political persuasion, to pray for the President, for his administration and the new Congress as they lead us through difficult and turbulent times. May our national leaders reflect the best in wisdom and judgment as they fulfill the great trust afforded to them by the American people. We also commend Governor Romney for engaging at the highest level of our democratic process, which, by its nature, demands so much of those who offer themselves for public service. We wish him and his family every success in their future endeavors."

A few other fun things I saw today that helped me almost smile:

·         "My newsfeed has never provided me with as much entertainment as it has tonight. Just a reminder from the Mayans: the end of the world isn't until December 21st."

·         "I love pottery. Just thought I'd give your news feed a break from all the election stuff :)"

·         "Can't we all just hug and then balance the budget?"

·         Mitt Romney's future plans, according to The Onion

·         Elder Holland's talk, Israel, Israel God is Calling

·         America the Beautiful

·         This Land is Your Land 

I don't think the world is going to end tomorrow, although I wondered Tuesday night and hoped it was all a dream when I woke up Wednesday. I admit that with the heavy heart I wasn't feeling very humble or willing to help. I was filling rejected and frustrated with those that won't listen or think or work or believe the best in others. I was done with politics, public administration and my desire to help and serve my country and fellowmen shrunk quickly. I realize that's not the correct response – regardless of the outcome and circumstances in life we must respond in love and humility.

I want to try to assume the best of others, especially those I don't agree with. I want to have the desire to pray for them and then be willing to work for their success and our success as we work together for good. I know that ultimate hope comes through Jesus Christ. I'm grateful for Him and His plan and I know that working together is the best way. I just need a day or week or two to mourn for what could have been with 50% of the country and 75% of the state. :)