Prayer

I have been thinking a lot lately about prayer and fasting.  I'm grateful for its power and the reminder today by our bishop to learn to pray effectively and fervently.  He told us to:

• Live righteously and don't block the connection to the Spirit in our lives with distractions.
• Pray morning, noon, and night.  Plan, make it a priority, have it be a continuous conversation.
• Pray simply and with gratitude and testimony.
• Ponder carefully what to pray for, prepare ahead of time, organize your thoughts, seek His will.  President Eyring taught: "I have had prayers answered. Those answers were most clear when what I wanted was silenced by an overpowering need to know what God wanted. It is then that the answer from a loving Heavenly Father can be spoken to the mind by the still, small voice and can be written on the heart."
• Pray boldly, out loud, fervently, wrestle, cry unto Him, ASK!  If we want specific answers we need to prepare and ask specific questions.
• Answers come in different ways - sometimes immediately as we ask, sometimes as we fast and pray for a long time, and sometimes the answer is no.  Sometimes the Lord expects us to make our own decision.  We should use the scriptures and our agency.
• Prayer brings us to our Heavenly Father.  What a wonderful blessing to be able to speak to Him!

Here are a few other talks I've enjoyed about prayer:

• Priesthood and Personal Prayer - Henry B. Eyring, April 2015
• Make the Exercise of Faith Your First Priority - Richard G. Scott, October 2014
• Where Is Thy Pavilion? - Henry B. Eyring, October 2012
• The Spirit of Revelation - David A. Bednar, April 2011
• Prayer and Promptings - Boyd K. Packer, October 2009 
• To Acquire Spiritual Guidance - Richard G. Scott, October 2009
• Lessons from the Lord’s Prayers - Russell M. Nelson, April 2009
• Pray Always - David A. Bednar, October 2008
• Ask in Faith - David A. Bednar, April 2008
• Personal Revelation:The Teachings and Examples of the Prophets - Robert D. Hales, October 2007
• Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer - Richard G. Scott, April 2007
• Sweet Power of Prayer - Russell M. Nelson, April 2003
• The Lifeline of Prayer - James E. Faust, April 2002
• Prayer - Henry B. Eyring, October 2001
• “Write Upon My Heart” - Henry B. Eyring, October 2000
• “Look to God and Live” - Jeffrey R. Holland, October 1993
• The Language of Prayer - Dallin H. Oaks, April 1993
• The Power of Prayer - Thomas S. Monson, April 1991
• Learning to Recognize Answers to Prayers - Richard G. Scott, October 1989
• Patterns of Prayer - Bruce R. McConkie, April 1984
• "Our Father Which Art in Heaven" - L. Tom Perry, October 1983
• The Power of Family Prayer - John H. Groberg, April 1982
• Prayers and Answers - Boyd K. Packer, October 1979
• “We Need a Listening Ear” - Spencer W. Kimball, October 1979
• The Prayer of Faith - Thomas S. Monson, April 1978
• “Hallowed Be Thy Name” - Howard W. Hunter, October 1977
• Prayer - Ezra Taft Benson, April 1977
• The Importance of Prayer - N. Eldon Tanner, April 1974
• The Importance of Prayer - Franklin D. Richards, April 1972

God Loves Us All

I was rushing down the mountain after a lovely afternoon in the fall leaves last week.  Magical!  I had been inspired and as I was driving home the sunset was lighting up the sky and the mountains in such a beautiful way that I had to pull over and take a picture!  :)

As I was rushing out of my car to not miss the moment, I had been so focused (pretty much all afternoon) on the 'beauty all around' that I was startled to see a homeless-looking man in the pavilion near my picture spot.  I may not have bound out of the car with such enthusiasm if I knew the spot was already taken.  I found a place nearby to take my picture and not be in his way.

It really was an incredible sunset and a perfect place to watch.  I love finding good sunset spots - you have to choose them ahead of time; if you try to get somewhere once it's turned pretty you've already missed it!

As I was turning to walk back to my car....I was thinking about this man, sitting and enjoying the sunset.  I knew that Heavenly Father loved Him!  :)  Someone that I may not have thought of wanting to watch a sunset with or maybe even shied away from a little once I did notice him, was remembered by our Heavenly Father.  He loves each one of His children.  He sends beauty and blessings to each of us.  The sun literally rises and shines on each one.  I want to do a better job of seeing and loving everyone as God does.  I'm grateful for the reminder that there is a place for each of us.  We can and need to see and lift each other, as our Father and Savior do.

FOMO

Recently I realized that I have a real fear of missing out.  ;)  We probably all have something we don't want to miss.  For me, I have a crazy addiction with the beautiful fall leaves!!!!  Have you seen them?????!!!!!  If not, YOU'VE MISSED OUT!!  :)

I love this time of year, but I don't want to miss one leaf!  ;)  Nights that I'm tied up doing something else and I don't get home before dark I wonder if I'll ever have a chance to see them before they're gone.  This is very real and makes me anxious.  (If you can't tell, the mountains and fall leaves are my happy place, but I know they are temporary.)

The beauty begins in the mountains and then comes to the city.  There are many great places to see them, but so little time.  They disappear at some point and winter comes.  I've found myself very intentionally trying to plan my weeks to maximize my time in the mountains recently....and then wandering home from work the long way to catch all the trees.

Thinking about the leaves and identifying my anxiety with missing them has helped me realize that there are other things that I worry about missing:

• Missing an opportunity....for work, service, relationships....
• Not accomplishing my life's mission, what I was sent here to do (have I already missed it?)
• Eternal life, being with God again....I want to and will do anything I can to get there, but have I missed something?  Will I miss being there?  This is one I really don't want to miss, but how can I be sure that I'll be there?

I realize that many of these "fears" exist because I either get impatient, overwhelmed, or lose faith and focus on the Lord.  I think that FOMO can distract and paralyze us, if we're not careful (regardless of what it is that we're afraid of missing).

I try to squeeze a lot into my days and life.  I think we need to be proactive, use our time well, fill it would good things, but I'm realizing more and more the importance of.... Don't compare.  Don't worry.  Be you.  "Be still and know that [He is] God" (see Psalms 46 and D&C 101).  Be content.  Be happy.  Be patient.  Do good.   Be present.  Choose.  Let go.  Go forward.  Live each day with the Spirit to guide.  Seek to do His will and you'll find happiness and contentment each time!

All of these things I've learned and thought about have made me even more grateful for the leaves :) and the seasons in life, and the beauty our Father has created for us!

Korea - An Important Part of Who I Am

It was 16 years ago this week that I began one of the greatest adventures of my life - serving as a full-time missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Busan, Korean.  This experience has continued to bless my life, as it did this week very directly when we got together for a very special mission reunion.  Every missionary that ever served in any mission in Korea....for the past 60 years was invited and it was WONDERFUL!  I enjoyed seeing old friends and companions, but was particularly grateful for the chance to be reminded of who I was 14-16 years ago.

I was reminded of the courage and quiet confidence I had as a missionary.  I was full of purpose and meaning and confidence....in the Lord and His plan....and great love for a particular group of people.  Being around those people and the language and the memories helped me to remember who I truly am.  I had a strong testimony before I left on mission and I really wanted to share it, but having the chance to share it in Korea helped me to keep it simple and focused on the most important things and words that I knew.  ;)  There was no fear....just faith and love!

There are many things I wish I knew before I went.  I was kind of immature, but I also had an almost childlike faith and confidence.  Being with missionaries and Koreans again helped me feel and remember those experiences and the person I was then.  I'm proud of that person and time in my life.  I feel like these people knew the real me, the person I want to be.  I have grown in many ways since then, but have maybe lost some of the faith and confidence in myself.  I was grateful for the reminder of who these people know me as.  I immediately felt the same special happiness and confidence when surrounded by those memories.  I remember the greatest compliment I ever received as a missionary was from an investigator who told me that I had a heart like a Korean.  ;)

Koreans aren't shy, bu they are humble and teachable, they love and give and care about each other, they're united as family.  Being together as missionaries from several generations with the shared love for this wonderful group of people was uplifting.  There is a unique sense of belonging and unity among Koreans and those who served there - pride, joy, unity, gratitude.  I remember Elder Eyring coming to speak to us at a mission conference in 2001.  He talked about Helaman chapter 3 (see Helaman 3:24-27) and how thousands of people would join the Church in Korea because of the continual faith and prayers of the returned missionaries who loved these people and continued to pray for them.  I thought of this promise and have increased my faith and prayers for these people that I love!  :)

Here is a video of the program from that night.  Obviously it doesn't include the one-on-one time visits which were the highlight, but it does capture some of the culture, and history, and miracles, and blessings of being a part of this group.  One particular blessing I found was at 1:07:20 in the video.  It's a picture of some servicemen in Korea - some of the first "missionaries" - and right near the top middle of the picture is my Grandpa Morgan who was there at that time.  That is something very special that we share - a love for Korea and the sweet people of that land.  I'm grateful to remember who I am....and who I can be because of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Never Can I Repay Thee, Lord

I love the song "Savior Redeemer of My Soul" - each version that I've heard, and I heard a beautiful version today that really inspired me.  The lyrics by Orson F. Whitney are powerful and have helped me to better know my Savior, Jesus Christ and the reach of His Atonement and love.

Savior, Redeemer of my soul,
Whose mighty hand hath made me whole,
Whose wondrous pow'r hath raised me up
And filled with sweet my bitter cup!
What tongue my gratitude can tell,
O gracious God of Israel.

Never can I repay thee, Lord,
But I can love thee. Thy pure word,
Hath it not been my one delight,
My joy by day, my dream by night?
Then let my lips proclaim it still,
And all my life reflect thy will.

O'errule mine acts to serve thine ends.
Change frowning foes to smiling friends.
Chasten my soul till I shall be
In perfect harmony with thee.
Make me more worthy of thy love,
And fit me for the life above.

Through Him we can change.  He can make us whole.  We can repent.  We can improve and be more than we are....with His help.  Today I was particularly touched by the phrase, "Never can I repay thee, Lord.....But I can love thee."  :) !!!!  That was profound to me.  I think it struck me because I have felt very blessed lately as a recipient of others' kindness.  Sometimes I have a hard time being indebted to someone.  I think a part of my wanting to "be invisible" is not wanting to be a burden on anyone, wanting to be independent and self sufficient, so that no one has to worry about me.  But I realize that's not possible, not realistic, and prideful.  We can't do it on our own.  We need help.  We need His help, and others' too....and truly "never can I repay thee, Lord."   

Those words helped me realize that I can't repay Him, often I can't repay others....I need to let that go.  He knows that we can't repay Him; He just asks us to love Him, to serve Him, to keep His commandments.  We can do that.  We can love.  We need to love.  That's what we do - we love.  We will not be perfect and will be further in His debt, but we can return to Him and when our one desire is to love Him I believe that He accepts our love and further blesses us (just like King Benjamin talks about in Mosiah 2:23-24).  True love is powerful - His love for us, our love for Him, our love for others....that's what changes us.  <3

Fishers and Hunters

In Jeremiah 16:16, the Lord says through his prophet, Jeremiah, "Behold, I will send for many fishers...and they shall fish them; and after will I send for many hunters, and they shall hunt them from every mountain, and from every hill, and out of the holes of the rocks."  He is talking about the time of the Restoration of the gospel in the latter-days and the gathering of Israel.  This is an oft-quoted and even memorized verse, but I really appreciated a recent insight shared with me that has opened my eyes to more about what this means for me.

The Savior invited His disciples in Jerusalem to become "fishers of men."

"And Jesus, walking by the sea of Galilee, saw two brethren, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers.
"And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.
"And they straightway left their nets, and followed him." (Matthew 4:18-20)

He invites all of us to come to Him and we can be fishers, too, and share the gospel's message and blessings with others.  When thinking about missionary work we often think about being fishers and shepherds, but I hadn't thought much about the importance of being hunters.  ;)  This may sound too aggressive, but I think it's the example that President Monson has taught.  Be deliberate, search after and find and rescue the one.

In studying and thinking about being a fisher and being a hunter a little bit more I came across a wonderful article in the June 2015 Ensign, "Fishers of Men" by Elder Scott D. Whiting (my bishop when I was a youth, definitely one of the fisherman in my life).  We work together to extend our Heavenly Father's love and message to all of His children.

Here are a few other inspiring talks, videos, songs...

• "Follow Me, and I will Make You Fishers of Men"
• "Come, Follow Me"
• Fishers of Men
• Reaching Outsiders Within:  One by One
• To the Rescue Young Single Adults
• Elder Bednar in England
• The Net Gathers of Every Kind by Elder Neal A. Maxwell, October 1980
• To the Rescue by President Thomas S. Monson, April 2001
• One by One:  The Fifth Gospel's Model of Service by Richard Holzapfel, 2003
• Concern for the One by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, April 2008
• Being a More Christian Christian by Elder Robert D. Hales, October 2012
• Our Responsibility to Rescue by President Thomas S. Monson, October 2013
• Look for the one, June 2016
• One by One (a beautiful song!!) by Elder David A. Bednar, July 2016 (the story)

Have you fished?  Have you hunted?  When have you been fished for?  hunted after?  How did you feel?  When helping others come to Christ we must do the work His way and by His Spirit...and I think often it is one person at a time.

I remember a day on a bus in Pusan, Korea in 2001 when I learned for myself how much our Heavenly Father loves each of His children, individually.  We weren't the only Christian missionaries in Korea.  Religion was actually discussed quite a bit and other churches proselyted...on the streets, on the buses, door-to-door.  It wasn't unusual for someone to get on the bus and start shouting their message to the whole busload of people hoping they could convert a large group at once.  ;)  I would chuckle to myself sometimes when I was sitting on one of these buses, but I have to admit that sometimes I wondered whether that might not have been more effective - why not shout to all the bus, all the world the important message we had of the restoration?  :)  I remember distinctly an impression one of those days, "No, that's not how we do it.  Each person will have their chance to learn and understand and come to know the gospel for himself/herself.  This message, this plan, this gospel is for each individual and He sends one missionary to one individual to teach and bring them to Christ."

That's the same pattern we see in 3 Nephi 11:14-15 when the Savior invites every individual to come and feel the marks in his hands and feet for themselves.  It's the same lesson He gives in the parable of the lost sheep in Luke 15:3-7.  He loves us and will find us and bring us home....and He asks us to be fishers, and shepherds, and hunters to seek after His sheep.  What a blessing for us and for them!  Our Heavenly Father truly loves each of us!

Broken

I read a sweet blog post recently - The Gift of Being Broken.  It made me think about a lot of things.  I could relate.  Sometimes I feel broken and I'm grateful for the reminder to turn to the Savior and let Him heal.  We each have different challenges, but I think that may be one of the main reasons we have trials in this life - we need to learn to rely on Him.

I recently listened to a sweet story Sister Patricia Holland told at a BYU devotional in February 1982 - The Inconvenient Messiah:

"I’ve come to you today in kind of a motherly way, if you’ll indulge me, to speak to those of you who feel a little bit disappointed at this point, and thus, a little bit discouraged. May I just share with you a personal disappointment we’ve had in our home recently. A few months ago our daughter, Mary, decided to run for president of her seventh-grade class. She was encouraged by a teacher who felt she could win, and so she began to campaign with lots of enthusiasm and a great deal of confidence. Both her parents and her brothers rallied behind and gave her all the support and help we could.

"Well, she lost. Now I was told this earlier in the day before Mary got home from school, and you know mothers. I was totally devastated for her, and I just churned with emotions all day and most of the day hoped for something that I could say that might comfort her. When I heard her footsteps at the door, my heart and my feet leaped to the rescue, and all the words of comfort I could think of came tumbling out. 

"And you know, she just looked at me for a few minutes and then with sad little brown eyes she said, “Mother, will you just pray with me?” 

"As we knelt in prayer, she said, “Heavenly Father, I promised you I’d do anything if I could win, and now I know I must show how to be a good loser.” And then she said, “I don’t want you to be my servant anymore. I just want to be yours.” 

"You see, it was because of her pain and disappointment that she was given to say in a twelve-year-old way, “Maybe what I wanted would not be the best thing to serve you at all.” 

"I guess what I’ve come to you today to say is that God uses broken things—and I quote: 

"It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. . . . it is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever. [“Broken Things,” an excerpt from Vance Havner, The Still Water (Old Tappan, NJ: Flemming H. Revell, 1934). Quoted in Guideposts, October 1981, p. 5] 

"Our Father in Heaven sometimes uses our pain as a megaphone for very significant instruction."

The example of her daughter is so sweet and teaches powerfully the importance of turning to and relying on the the Savior.  Sister Holland's last quote reminded me of a song by Kenneth Cope - Broken:

Broken clouds give rain
Broken soil grows grain
Broken bread feeds man for one more day
Broken storms yield light
The break of day heals night
Broken pride turns blindness into sight

Broken souls that need His mending
Broken hearts for offering
Could it be that God loves broken things?

Broken chains set free
Broken swords bring peace
Broken walls make friends of you and me
To break the ranks of sin
To break the news of Him
To put on Christ till His name feels broken in

Broken souls that need His mending
Broken hearts for offering
I believe that God loves broken things

And yet our broken faith, our broken promises
Sent love to the cross
And still, that broken flesh, that broken heart of His
Offers us such grace and mercy
Covers us with love undeserving

This broken soul that cries for mending
This broken heart for offering
I'm convinced that God loves broken me

Praise His name, my God loves broken things.

:)  There is hope.  He can heal....and make us more than we can be on our own.

We Are All Enlisted

Today was a "we are all enlisted" kind of day.  I'm not a soldier or anything close to it, but felt an urgent, hopeful, purposeful call to action today.  It was quiet, but direct....and I'm grateful.

We are all enlisted till the conflict is o'er; Happy are we! Happy are we!
Soldiers in the army, there's a bright crown in store; We shall win and wear it by and by.
Haste to the battle, quick to the field; Truth is our helmet, buckler, and shield.
Stand by our colors; proudly they wave! We're joyfully, joyfully marching to our home.
We are all enlisted till the conflict is o'er; Happy are we! Happy are we!
Soldiers in the army, there's a bright crown in store; We shall win and wear it by and by.

Hark! the sound of battle sounding loudly and clear; Come join the ranks! Come join the ranks!
We are waiting now for soldiers; who'll volunteer? Rally round the standard of the cross.
Hark! 'tis our Captain calls you today; Lose not a moment, make no delay!
Fight for our Savior; come, come away! We're joyfully, joyfully marching to our home.

Fighting for a kingdom, and the world is our foe; Happy are we! Happy are we!
Glad to join the army, we will sing as we go; We shall gain the vict'ry by and by.
Dangers may gather--why should we fear? Jesus, our Leader, ever is near.
He will protect us, comfort, and cheer. We're joyfully, joyfully marching to our home.

In a world that is more and more confused each day it is so good to know Who we follow and why we do, and why we're even here to begin with.  ;)  This call to battle is not a physical thing, but spiritual and even more important.  It can be easy to be distracted, even by good things, but I'm grateful for the clarity and peace and purpose I found in these words today.

Mosiah 2:41, "Consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it."

Alma 42:15, "And now, the plan of mercy could not be brought about except an atonement should be made; therefore God himself atoneth for the sins of the world, to bring about the plan of mercy, to appease the demands of justice, that God might be a perfect, just God, and a merciful God also."

3 Nephi 11:15, "And it came to pass that the multitude went forth, and thrust their hands into his side, and did feel the prints of the nails in his hands and in his feet; and this they did do, going forth one by one until they had all gone forth, and did see with their eyes and did feel with their hands, and did know of a surety and did bear record, that it was he, of whom it was written by the prophets, that should come."

We are or can be the "Hope of Israel":

Hope of Israel, Zion's army, Children of the promised day,
See, the Chieftain signals onward, And the battle's in array!
Hope of Israel, rise in might With the sword of truth and right;
Sound the war-cry, "Watch and pray!" Vanquish ev'ry foe today.

See the foe in countless numbers, Marshaled in the ranks of sin.
Hope of Israel, on to battle; Now the vict'ry we must win!

Hope of Israel, rise in might With the sword of truth and right;
Sound the war-cry, "Watch and pray!" Vanquish ev'ry foe today.

Strike for Zion, down with error; Flash the sword above the foe!
Ev'ry stroke disarms a foeman; Ev'ry step we conq'ring go.
Hope of Israel, rise in might With the sword of truth and right;
Sound the war-cry, "Watch and pray!" Vanquish ev'ry foe today.

Soon the battle will be over; Ev'ry foe of truth be down.
Onward, onward, youth of Zion; Thy reward the victor's crown.

Hope of Israel, rise in might With the sword of truth and right;
Sound the war-cry, "Watch and pray!" Vanquish ev'ry foe today.

I left church today wanting to spend all my time studying and learning the gospel better, but also wanting to spend all my time doing all the missionary work I could and finding all those that are searching for hope, as well as really wanting to learn how to do my family history research and....it can be overwhelming to think about all that there is to do, but it's also so exciting and helpful to know and have a purpose.  I need to work on my specific focus so that I actually do something, but I'm grateful for the inspiration and the HOPE!!!  We can't do everything, but we can do something...and we must do something.  Today.  :)  ....because God lives, we have a Savior, there is a Plan!  He wants us to be happy, to succeed, to come back to Him....and there is work to do.

Life's Purpose

I just saw this video the other day - Oregon to Patagonia.  I like it and what it made me think about (and maybe I was thinking way too much, but I've read a few related books and scriptures lately that got me thinking more about the message here)!  It's interesting and inspiring - live intentionally, do what you love, make things happen, don't just let life happen, act and don't be acted upon.  What do I really want to do or need to do?  ;)  More importantly, I wonder, what is the right balance....

In some ways the life portrayed here seems somewhat selfish?  Of course - this was just a year, and I can't judge his heart or reasons or purpose or options - of course it's better to be out exploring the world and bettering yourself than sitting at home.  He was doing good along the way, too (even in inspiring others that don't know him with the video); travel and caring to learn about others opens us up to that, but how do we find the right balance for living our lives proactively, setting our goals and working towards them and waiting on the Lord and doing His will?  Who is really in charge of our lives?  How do we live courageously, proactively, and humbly, selflessly?  Being responsible and routine may not be so bad - maybe some of the purpose and point of life is steadiness, but even in our habits I do think we need to be intentional and choose our life and live it fully.

Maybe these ideas contradict and I'm making no sense, but I wonder if sometimes our goals or desires keep us from something else the Lord wants us to do and be?  Is it possible to be too focused or stubborn that we miss something else that might be more important?  How can we be selfless and still loyal to our goals?  How do we best strive to improve and make the most of life while being humble enough to give it all up when and if and as we have to?  Do we have to?  How does it work? ;)  How do we balance responsibilities, desires, talents, hobbies, and the Lord's will in our life?

What's the difference between fun, joy, purpose, and meaning?  What should we be pursuing here on earth? growth? learning? becoming?  How do we find the proper balance between that intense focus and trying to accomplish something, recharging our batteries, doing something we love, and selflessly giving our lives to the Lord?
Thoughts?!

I don't think we can judge anyone else's purpose or life (so I hope that's not how this sounds), and I think there are many ways to find the right balance in life.  We are each so different, but I found these talks and thoughts helpful to me in thinking about these questions:

• Developing a Christlike Character by President David O. McKay
• Christlike Attributes - the Wind beneath Our Wings by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
• The Character of Christ by Elder David A. Bednar
• Give Us, This Day, Our Daily Bread by Elder D. Todd Christofferson
• 10 Characteristics of Jesus Christ and How to Develop Them
• Christlike Attributes

As President McKay said, "Man’s chief concern in life should not be the acquiring of gold, or of fame, or of material possessions. It should not be the development of physical prowess, nor of intellectual strength, but his aim, the highest in life, should be the development of a Christ-like character."

Selfishness

I loved and really needed to hear the talks today in sacrament meeting, particularly the reference to this talk by Elder Neal A. Maxwell - "Repent of [Our] Selfishness":

"Selfishness is really self-destruction in slow motion....Each spasm of selfishness narrows one’s universe that much more by reducing his awareness of or concern with others.  Some selfish moderns need a Copernican reminder that they are not the center of the universe either!.... 

"Selfishness...causes us to be discourteous, disdainful, and self-centered while withholding from others needed goods, praise, and recognition as we selfishly pass them by and notice them not (see Morm. 8:39)..... 

"In contrast to the path of selfishness, there is no room for road rage on the straight and narrow way....Unselfishness is best grown in the family garden, and, likewise, diligently performing seemingly ordinary Church duties can further help us to overcome selfishness. The unselfish are also more free. As G. K. Chesterton said, if we can be interested in others, even if they are not interested in us, we will find ourselves “under a freer sky, [and] in a street full of splendid strangers." 

"Meekness is the real cure, for it does not merely mask selfishness but dissolves it! Smaller steps could include asking ourselves inwardly before undertaking an important action, Whose needs am I really trying to meet?....  

"Individual selfishness is finally acculturated. Then societies can eventually become without order, without mercy, without love, perverted, and past feeling (see Moro. 9)..... 

"Selfishness is actually the detonator of all the cardinal sins. It is the hammer for the breaking of the Ten Commandments, whether by neglecting parents, the Sabbath, or by inducing false witness, murder, and envy....Some of the selfish wrongly believe that there is no divine law anyway, so there is no sin (see 2 Ne. 2:13). Situational ethics are thus made to order for the selfish..... 

"Of unselfish George Washington it has been written: “In all history few men who possessed unassailable power have used that power so gently and self-effacingly for what their best instincts told them was the welfare of their neighbors and all mankind.”  Power is most safe with those, like Washington, who are not in love with it! A narcissist society, in which each person is busy looking out for number one, can build neither brotherhood nor community..... 

"In contrast, as I close, consider unselfish Melissa Howes, whose comparatively young father died of cancer several months ago. Just before, Melissa, who was then nine, was voice in family prayer, pleading, “Heavenly Father, bless my daddy, and if you need him more than us, you can have him. We want him, but Thy will be done. And please help us not to be mad at you.”"

Selfishness and pride truly are universal sins, but that makes it so much more important to be vigilant and humble enough to desire to change and work on doing it, with the Lord's help.  I think the reason this talk stood out to me so much was because lately I've been thinking about different forms of selfishness and Elder Maxwell's words are so clear and direct and a great reminder.

So, what do you do to focus on being selfless?

invisible

Have you ever wanted to be invisible?  Or felt like you were invisible?  It might sounds silly or like something out of a Harry Potter movie, but I've realized lately that I have a problem with wanting to be invisible.  This post might be sharing too much, but then I think that's the whole problem - I may need to be more open, vulnerable, visible.  ;)  So, here goes... This is my attempt to try to start to figure out and overcome (at least to some degree) my desire to be invisible.  :)

I've thought and written a little about this before (okay, a lot, but I didn't realize it):

• Connected (September 2011)
• Here to Learn (June 2012)
• Team, Community, Companionship, Connections (August 2012)
• Inspired (July 2012)
• Courage, Confidence (August 2012)
• Confidence in Him (October 2012)
• Window to His Love (June 2013)
• Freedom (July 2013)
• Claustrophobia vs. an open heart (July 2013)
• music (September 2013)
• Do you have room? (December 2013)
• Accepting Love (February 2014)
• When our fears shall flee away (October 2015)
• To Be Known (January 2016)

As I mentioned in June 2013, I have liked the song "A Window to His Love" for a while, but I am realizing more and more how much I have misunderstood and misinterpreted its message.  I started to realize my problem with being invisible a little over a year ago.  I was talking to a friend about an experience I had running into someone who many people would know.  I had actually talked and worked with her a bit just before we ran into each other, but I was "invisible" (just an email).  I would never have expected her to know who I was and I didn't want her to feel bad for any reason that she didn't....so I didn't say anything to her about the fact that we had talked recently or introduce myself in the context that she would have recognized.  Being the neat person that she is she stopped and asked me about myself and undoubtedly this came up and then she felt bad for not recognizing me.  So, it got me thinking....is there ever a reason to pretend to be small or less than we are?

Marianne Williamson has said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

How can we...how can I be true?  genuine?  By being visible.  Being me.  ;)  I think one reason I've liked "A Window to His Love" so much and why I feel invisible is because I'm an introvert.  I like to be in the background.  I recharge by having quiet time to myself and this song seemed to give me permission to be that - quiet, in the background, invisible, but....maybe that's selfish.  By not inserting myself or allowing others into my life I'm not giving all that I can or should and not growing as I could, either.  I think that what I sometimes saw as "humility" or an occasional lack of confidence might actually have been a form of pride.  Interestingly enough I just found this article by Julie de Azevedo Hanks (the one who wrote "Window to His Love") - 4 Ways What You Think is Humility Could Actually be Pride.  Good article! 

I work in a setting where I relate to the idea of wanting "to be so pure and clear that [no one will] even know I'm here, 'cause His love will shine brightly through me."  I don't want to do anything to diminish or distract or tarnish, so sometimes I think it's best to be "invisible" and not insert myself. And again it goes along with my introverted personality and the fact that I like to observe.  ;)  I love this blog post by a friend of mine that I knew in DC.  I've felt similarly sometimes - “Enough had been thought, and said, and felt, and imagined.  It was about time that something should be done.”  :)

I think this being invisible thing is related to faith, fear - confidence, courage - humility, pride - passive, active - visible, seen, real, open, vulnerable, broken - being present, connected - showing who you are, the good the bad - being genuine - accepting love and giving love - remembering that no man is an island - being mindful - repenting, changing, growing - being committed and invested.

Elder Quentin L. Cook posted something related and helpful on Facebook recently:
"It is common today to hide one’s identity....What we are seeing in society is that when people wear the mask of anonymity, they are more likely to engage in [hateful] conduct, which is so destructive of civil discourse. It also violates the basic principles the Savior taught.
"The righteous need not wear masks to hide their identity. I encourage you to continue to seek to become who you should be—a disciple of Jesus Christ in thought and in action. Set goals to apply Christlike attributes to your lives and pray for help in developing them. As you do, you will allow yourself to be an influence for good wherever you are."

I don't think we need to insert ourselves or draw attention to ourselves unnecessarily.  I think there is still value to being observant, thoughtful, and considerate of others and those qualities are valued in some instances, I'm sure, but for me (and maybe others like me) I think I may need to be more aware of the times where I turn inward and assume speaking up might be getting in the way.

Maybe a better word for me in that song might be 'instrument'....instead of being a window to His love maybe I need to work on being an instrument in His hands.  I shouldn't focus on not being seen, but on using my unique talents and experiences to do His work and His will.  That could be scary and hard, so that's where the faith, repentance, courage comes in.  Ultimately, I think many of these thoughts come down to the fact that we need to try to become more like the Savior.  I think that's really the intent behind those words - window and instrument.  He was never invisible.  He was always there giving and caring about everyone around him.  Even when He looked for time alone there were often people that followed and He would still reach out and treat everyone with respect and love.  He had no selfish desires, but was open to giving and loving others, being seen, being a part of the world around Him then and still.  :)  He's there, not hidden from us.

As we learn of Him, walk with Him, I believe we find more confidence and courage to do His will.  I don't think it will have anything to do with being invisible, but in being alive and active and involved and happy.  Believing in Him helps us believe in ourselves and with His help we can be more than we thought possible.  That's the Plan and that's the power of His love that He wants us to feel and then share.  ;)  "Charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever" (Moroni 7:44-48).

Look to the Day

Look to the Day by John Rutter

Look to the day when the world seems new again: 
Morning so fresh you could touch the sky; 
The earth smells sweet and ev’ry flower looks bright, 
Shining in a dewy light as you wander by. 
Taking the time to enjoy each moment; 
Tasting the fruits spread along your way, 
Knowing there’s time to spare, 
Dreams you can dream and share: 
Look to the day, look to the day. 

Look to the day when the earth is green again:
Promise of spring after winter’s sleep. 
The sounds of life returning fill the air, 
Music that’s forever there for your heart to keep. 
Deep in the earth lay the seed of life renewed, 
Quiet and strong till the time of spring:
Life in each bud and shoot, 
Life in each flower and fruit, 
Look to that day when earth shall sing. 

Look to the light that will drive out darkness; 
Look to the hope that will conquer fear. 
God’s strength uphold us till the fight is won, 
Till we see our task is done when the day is here. 
Look for that day when there shall be no more pain; 
Sorrow and sighing shall pass away. 
Pray for the day to come, 
Trust that the day will come, 
Look to that day, look to the day. 

Lord, we give thanks for the gifts of life and health; 
Plant a new seed in our hearts, we pray: 
Help us to see, O Lord, 
How it could be, O Lord; 
Look to the day, look to the day

Dance!

Everyone should have the opportunity to attend a dance recital for children ages 3-9.  So cute!  There is something so sweet to learn by watching these cute and talented and courageous and open and vulnerable kids.  I was struck by the humility, the confidence, the fun, the desire they had to learn and to be themselves.  Wouldn't it be great if we could all hold on to that throughout our lives and never lose that desire to learn, and try new things, and perform.  I hope you dance!  :)

I am in your midst

Some of my greatest inspiration and peace and direction in life comes while sitting in the temple, waiting in the chapel for the next session to begin, listening to the organ, with the scriptures open. Sometimes I'm reading something on purpose, but often I just happen to open up to a verse that I really need.  Always I learn something new and then I have a couple of hours to ponder and when I turn to the scripture again there seems to be even more there than before. ;)  It's such a blessing and it was repeated tonight....

In Doctrine and Covenants 29:5, the Lord says in September 1830 to Joseph Smith and a few other elders gathered together: "Lift up your hearts and be glad, for I am in your midst, and am your advocate with the Father; and it is his good will to give you the kingdom."

That's pretty wonderful just by itself and then it goes on:

"And, as it is written—Whatsoever ye shall ask in faith, being united in prayer according to my command, ye shall receive."

And then you go to any of the footnotes and there is much more.  My favorite is this....Doctrine and Covenants 38:7: "But behold, verily, verily, I say unto you that mine eyes are upon you. I am in your midst and ye cannot see me;"

These verses are spoken to Joseph Smith and other leaders of the Church at the time, but I believe they are recorded and can be applicable to each of us, and they were particularly meaningful to me tonight.  I've been searching for Him.  Sometimes I feel like He is hard to find and I get discouraged.  I was grateful for the reminder that He is most definitely here, even in our midst, but we can't see Him.  We need to ask, seek, be humble, be united, be one....and He is there!

I just saw this post on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's blog that I love, that's so related - "If the Savior Stood Beside Me"

Weeds

There are so many wonderful lessons in the world all around us.  Lately I have been inspired by the grandeur of the planets in their orbit, the power of the weather, the wonder of the seasons changing.  It really is amazing and it all remind me of the marvelous plan that our loving Heavenly Father has for us.  There is so much that is outside our control.  We may not understand the moving of the planets or what to do with too much rain, but I marvel at the lessons we can learn from nature.

One such lesson that I seem to be learning over and over again this spring has to do with weeds!  :)  It's kind of fun to have, for the first time, my own small yard to take care.  When I moved into my new house I inherited a small yard full of completely unruly weeds.  It took me two or three full Saturdays to get it looking like this...

I was pretty proud of myself in getting it to look this good.  Fortunately just a few weeks later there began to be enough cold weather and eventually snow that I didn't have to think too much about my yard again (the blessings of winter!) until sometime in March when my mom pointed out that the yard was completely full of dandelions.  ;)  What!?  They weren't supposed to come back!  And so I spent another few hours getting rid of all the weeds again.  What to my surprise and dismay, but just a week later they were back, and even a few different varieties.

This little experiment / frustration got me thinking and learning and pondering....if you don't want the weeds to come back you have to fill that space in with something else!!  ;)  Problem is I haven't decided what I want to fill the space in with?  flowers?  vegetables?  grass?  bark?  stepping stones?  It takes me a long time to make a decision and the creativity that gardening involves is not a talent I've been blessed with or worked to develop yet.  But, every week that I don't decide what to the plant or do with the space the weeds come back and think they own the place.  They kind of do.

I think there is an important life lesson in this - whether it's our time or our thoughts or anything else... If we don't decide what we want to do with our time or if we don't fill our minds with good thoughts the weeds come back and take over!  So, we must intentionally fill our lives with GOOD so that there is no room for the bad and ugly and distracting weeds!